Stung

I have always been uncomfortable with compliments but I've been heavily on the receiving end of them this week. Do other Codie's experience this too?

This week I was called a fashion plate, jet setter, exceptional mom, fun, and some rando guy whistled at me (while I was pushing my kids in the double stroller, so he's obviously a creep but I'll still count it as a compliment) and I was invited to two girls night outs. Much more complimentary stuff than I'm used to and every time someone says something nice I'm like "who are you talking about? Me? Oh. Thanks?"

I LOVE compliments about my kids but I'm so uncomfortable with people complimenting me.

Hawkeye13

I felt that way too, due to low self-esteem,
but now whenever someone says something nice,
I try to own it and know they see something positive

Gets easier with practice. . .

Thumper

I am - or was - exactly like that. It wasn't so much that I didn't believe what they said (because sometimes I did) but I was very uncomfortable. I don't want people to notice me one way or another. I strive to be a wall flower, lol. I've made a conscious effort to stop arguing with people and simply say thank you. It does get easier and it is actually much less awkward for everyone. The moment is here and gone and dare I say pleasant. It happen twice this week and I opened my mouth to argue and clipped that right off and said thank you instead!

WendyOR

This is me as well. I am the same with gifts. Holidays are huge for me in spoiling the people I love.... but I don't like getting gifts. If someone pays me a compliment, I feel like an idiot. I say thank you, of course... but they don't sit well with me. Oh my goodness, if someone sings happy birthday to me... tears. Someone celebrating... ME? I don't do good with attention either, I would rather have the focus off of me.

FireSprite

I don't remember where I read it but it has always stuck with me because it's exactly how I am... something like... "We will accept the bad things out of hand & not examine them until later, but we want good things PROVEN to us, often refusing to accept them at all."

People say, "Great job!", I say, "Nah, that was easy." At the same time, I will break my neck to acknowledge someone else, no problem!

redatlanta

No, they don't bother me.

Blossom717

I am that way too. I always feel like someone wants a favor if they are complimenting me lol.

That might have to do with growing up and living with addicts my whole life....they are only complimentary if they have a reason to be!

Florence

I had to force myself to smile and say, "Hey, thanks!" It was learning to say not only thank you for the compliment, but thank you for appreciating me. Oftentimes I'll say, "You too!" returning the compliment, but also appreciating them back. It comes much easier now.

dandylion

I get and agree with what everyone is saying about this.

There is one social exception that might explain this common reaction--outside of the "low self esteem" one.
In some cultures...like the mountain culture that I grew up in....modesty is considered an attribute. One should not appear too prideful---at least, not in public! One must keep one's prideful feelings close to the chest. Females, in particular, should be modest and humble. Even males who are boastful are considered to be somewhat obnoxious.

I took some "unlearning" for me to adopt the habit of just smiling and say "thank you" to praise.

I'm just saying.....

dandylion

airwick

Compliments being given or received is what keeps us all connected

Florence

dandylion, totally agree. I'm from the Midwest and being too self-esteemy is considered immodest and obnoxious. Gotta balance all those compliments with the Midwest nice!

Stung is from Southern California, so I imagine her lack of narcissism is unusual.

(Kidding!)

dandylion

LOL....LOL....LOL!!!!!!!!!

dandylion