elizabeth1979

Hi all,

Its been 11 days since he left (me, town, everything) and I am now very mad about this. I am really mad. This is not the way my life is supposed to be. Or is it? I am broke, have the rent to pay myself now, along with bills and everything else. Just what I need is to come up with more money I dont have.
I am so angry with him for doing this to me, and leaving me with all the mess and pieces to pick up. I mean, I have been trying to detach, I really have, but he calls all the time and I try to avoid his calls, but sometimes I answer, and he asks for money, etc etc, we all know how it goes. I Say no, he gets mad, hangs up on me, and then calls back and starts all over. Meanwhile, he sits on a beach somewhere far away from his legal trouble and I get to be the grown up. I AM TIRED OF BEING THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FOR EVERYONE ALL THE TIME! :crying:



I am so not amused about my life right now, I loan money to friends who never pay me back, I bend over backwards to help others, when my priority should be ME! I hope I can get that through my head someday!

Sorry folks, just really mad and angry and wanted to vent...maybe I will buy a punching bag!

Gabe

I think if everyone had a punching bag, the world would be a much calmer place. Elizabeth, I know how you feel. It is very hard to have to shoulder all of the responsibility yourself. And it's hard to realize that you are always the caretaker and never the recipient of any caretaking.
Big hugs from me to you,
Gabe

Teggie

Oh my!! Another kindred spirit! ((((Elizabeth))))) I know what your going through, have been there, royally. Still figuring it all out, thats why I'm here. Have you gotton into alanon yet? Beleive me, you need to, it'll open your eyes and help you make the right decisions for you. All you need to know about detachment and codependancy you'll find there. Forgive me as I am still very new here and this is my first contact with you. Whats your support system? Family? Freinds? Make contact with your support sysytem, do it now, it's essential along with alanon to get going on the right track. Your very vulnerable now hun, you need to connect with your support people and reach out to others who understand your pain. Don't make any decisions until you feel comfortable in doing so. Your posting here, thats an excellant start, there are many wonderful people here with a wealth of information and experiences. I understand your anger, I really do, when I first started alanon my anger and resentment totally ruled me. I think in the beginning it was a positive force that forced me to keep going and deal with what I had to deal with and what he left me to deal with. I could have been a world champion boxer if I'd have had a punching bag lol. I've made it to the point that I don't want to be so angry anymore, and I'm working hard on that right now because that anger and resentment is a huge black cloud following me around. Your still in a crisis stage, people don't think very well when they are in that state of stress. You need support and alanon. Those are the two things that are going to help you through. Please keep in touch and let us know how your doing. Post here, vent all you want, noone is going to look down on you for trying to sort it out and get yourself better. If they did I'd be banned already lol. I wear my keyboard out. You have a long road ahead of you, it's slow, tedious and frustrating at times but even so it's the best road you'll ever take. Make the decision and go for it, work on you, you deserve it! My prayers are with you. Hugs! Teggie