rocky123

So ive been binge drinking daily for the last 3 weeks and feel like absolute ****...i had it together but couldnt make it past the 48 hour mark ugh so infuriating. Yesturday was my only big brothers birthday the last time i saw him before he died 2 years ago from heroin overdose at 23...i feel like i wanted to be in a coma to not see my parents pain...its no excuse though. On top of it have a crazy sinus infection and eye conjunctivitis yuck so i feel like such a piece of ****. I have to get my things together as start daily and night school on the 18th and cannot be doing this. So back to day one tommorow and have to strive through it. Ill probably be paniced to the core as usual so ill find some stress relief on here and friends hopefully. The other thing i have trouble with being sober is the boredom...days seem to last forever. I hope with going to school full time ill have too much to do to even think about drinking. So tommorow is day one all over again and all im going to do is pray that some of my will power comes back and i can see the light again because im in a cave right now and feeling awful. thanks for the vent

least

I hope tomorrow can be your last day one.

Thepatman

All it takes is another day 1 Rocky, and some plan tweaking if necessary.

Inchworm

I'm so sorry for your loss, Rocky......and so happy you have joined us.

Wastinglife

Hi Rocky, boredom is also a huge trigger for me. I haven't taken any vacation time from work this summer at all because all too often I spend time off binge-drinking. My last relapse was over the Christmas holiday when I had 10 days off. Drank to oblivion every day and spent ridiculous amounts of money.


Hopefully school will keep you busy and give something to focus on instead of the booze.

Nonsensical

Hope is a wonderful thing. I can't get enough of it. I have found that the things I hope for have a much better chance of happening if I plan for them. What are you planning to do if you have time to think about drinking?

Dee74

Hi Rocky

There's only one real lasting cure for boredom and that's to do stuff...maybe when you feel better you can start making a list of things you either need or want to do?

If you feel generally unfulfilled, I recommend volunteering in your community. It;s a great way to give back, feel good, and meet new people

I'm sorry for your brothers passing. I understand the desire to put yourself in a coma, but in the long run I think doing that is actually more painful.

It's like picking at a wound...it stays raw and never gets a chance to heal, and thats what we do with sadness if we try and drink it away.

It's just pushing it to one side...and it always come back until we face it and come to terms with it.

Have you considered some grief counselling at all? That might be a more healthy way to deal with your unresolved grief?


D

PurpleKnight

Welcome back!! Go at it again, don't stop trying!!

SoberComposer

Your drinking is so familiar to be, especially in the past. Stay strong and make that decesion that you dont want to go through this again. The drunk is not worth it. Another reason that helps with feeling like **** is it dries out our skin, makes us puffy, made me act defensive to others and makes us coverup this notorious secret. I believe that letting it go will reverse those things and make allow us to want to be social, instead of isolated in a maranade of dookie. Feeling and looking good to accept the wonderful options that happiness brings. People love others who are happy, because they want that themselves and be around that. However, no one want to be around us when hangover and depressed. So, at-least for me, being isolated, having no friends and anxious boredom without being drunk carves a deep hole very hard with to escape. I think most of us have no to little support so we have to do it ourselves in the physical world.. Thankfully we have our SR family another other programs!

Much love and respect!

Anna

I'm sorry for your loss. I wonder if you've tried therapy to help you deal with things?