Tansy

after finding out from a solicitor we can do a 2 year separation by mutual consent even tho exah is still here. He moves out on the 15 but we've lived separately for most of our marriage so it will be done by Christmas. I needed to start it as he wasn't getting it. Now he is snarling "Too right I 'm divorcing you." in that classic he hasn't done anything wrong way. He seriously thinks this too and still has older children saying I caused his drinking. It's water of a ducks back now. I no longer care what he or they thinks.

He's a nightmare.Still trying emotional abuse tactics, still here. His depressed, morose presence tainting the air. I absolutely cannot stand the sight of him and am keeping out of his way so I don't lose my cool again.

dandylion

Way to go Tansy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

honeypig

Good for you for taking steps towards the future you want, Tansy. I hope you can keep on taking care of you, learning, healing and growing.

You're wise to let his quacking slide off like "water off a duck's back"!!

Mags1

Go girl, that's the spirit.

AnvilheadII

Keep your eye on the prize, Tansy!

and i love your username...i just finished an audiobook with Tanzie as a character - One Plus One by Jojo Moyes.

Hawkeye13

Great job, great attitude Tansy!

Keep moving and it will be behind you that much faster

Rosiepetal

You are doing the right thing.
Remember this:
"My self worth is not measured by what other people think of me"
and
"What other people think of me is none of my business"
Hugs.

Tansy

Thanks everyone , yes there are a few prizes to us divorcing.
Peace.
Freedom.
Quiet.
Sleep my own hours.
No one pees on me in bed.
No clanking of bottles or cans opening in 3 am.
No more hearing him blundering into things.
No more feeling like a reject cos he prefers booze to actually ..erm...being affectionate.
More spare money as it's not being spent on addictions.
No more worry I will wake up and he will be dead in bed.
No more having to explain to children why daddy is being horrible.
No more ear plugs to shut out his thunderous snoring I can hear from 3 rooms away.
No more trying to help, arguing, feeling angry over his lies.
No more feeling numb with it all.

The chance to have a life of my own, to heal and maybe one day meet someone who will actually love me for myself, not what money they can blag for booze.

Bring it on

meggem

Good job!!!!!

hopeful4

It's during this time the quacking is the worst. Steele yourself against it and keep the eye on the prize!!

We are here for you!

Tansy

Update. He left today. My dd has taken over enabling him and they had a row very similar to one I'd have had with him if I cba. He was upset cos his lifestyle is over but he was still blaming me, still insistent I've another man etc. He looked awful as he stopped eating 2 months ago, is still drinking and his stomach ulcer which perforated in Feb is already back. However none if it is my problem anymore. How liberating is that? I'm not feeling much yet. I thought I'd be relieved but I just feel flat, sad and very tired. I've a ton of jobs to complete before the house can go on the market on Thursday and it all seems a bit overwhelming. I've been up 19 hours a day lately to do things. Anyway this time next week it will all be done.