remember!
remember!
I had a codie realization
When someone asks you the simple question "How are you?", how do you answer it? (out loud or even in your head?)
For me, I will always answer with how my ABF is doing, what he is angry/upset about, doing, looking forward to. I have completely forgot about me.
How am I? What am I feeling this very minute? am I even aloud to think that?
Yes. Remember, We have feelings. Real ones, that matter.
When someone asks you the simple question "How are you?", how do you answer it? (out loud or even in your head?)
For me, I will always answer with how my ABF is doing, what he is angry/upset about, doing, looking forward to. I have completely forgot about me.
How am I? What am I feeling this very minute? am I even aloud to think that?
Yes. Remember, We have feelings. Real ones, that matter.
Remember, We have feelings. Real ones, that matter.
When someone asks me that question, I say "Good --" and if they want more, I start telling them about the kids. But for me, it's not because I don't acknowledge my feelings (I've learned to do that since I left AXH). It's because my feelings are too complicated. If I were honest, I would respond, "I actually am not sure how I'm doing. It's all very confused in my head and heart right now. But thank you for asking."
I had a really hard time knowing what I was feeling or putting a name to it. For a very long time, how I was completely depended on how AXH was. Just in case it'll help, following is a thread that I started to try to help myself start naming it beyond must "mad" "sad" "happy":
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ay-i-feel.html
Lillamy provided a great link to a list of feeling words in the thread, too.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ay-i-feel.html
Lillamy provided a great link to a list of feeling words in the thread, too.
Baby Steps
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
I've recently started counselling & although we talk about him & what's been going on she always asks how I feel about things then throws in questions about me so although I may be talking about the situation I'm focusing on my thoughts and feelings which are very conflicted but it's good as sometimes I don't know how I feel!
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