Day 31 & I feel great!!!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Posts: 164
Day 31 & I feel great!!!!!
It's kind of like my golden birthday of sobriety because I'm 31 years old and it's the 31st day of my new life! Lol.
I feel great!!! I'm so happy! I love that I made this decision, and I don't ever want to turn back.
I already can't imagine the way my life would have gone otherwise. Booze does not fit into the picture of my future. I would have ruined my entire life and career. I was spending half my waking life in a stupor. I wasn't awake, I wasn't lucid, I wasn't dreaming. Gosh, I kind of wasn't even alive. Sobriety is without a doubt the next stage of my growth and evolution.
My anxiety and depression have improved too. I'm feeling a lot more positive and my mood is so much more stable. I have as many panic attacks, and when I do I can cope much more effectively.
Also my social anxiety is getting better.... interesting because one of the reasons I started drinking is out of social anxiety. When I first quit I was a total hermit and I kind of still am. But I was at a lot of social events this past weekend and had a great time being social and not drinking!! Interestingly, for a painfully shy person I was really outgoing and chatty! Cracking jokes, chatting with new people, etc. It was nice because I wasn't anxious about being drunk (saying something stupid, slurring my speech, etc), if that makes any sense!!
In general my body feels so much..... LIGHTER. Because it's not under the stress of constantly processing all those toxins and booze.
I'm eating a lot healthier, too. Working out more. And prioritizing it more. I've lost a few pounds. Taking vitamins and supplements, sleeping a lot better. My skin is clearer and looks younger, more well-rested!
When I imagine drinking, the thought of it makes me feel sick. All the toxins, the memory of the smell of it on my own breath, the feeling of it lingering in my body. GROSS!!!
I haven't had tooooo many cravings either. It's kinda hard to be around alcohol, and I've had a few tough moments, like during and after moving into a new house, and at a wedding, or when my mom asked me to go pick up a bottle of wine for her. But I stayed strong and didn't give in. I just keep reminding myself: I don't drink! That's just not what I do anymore!
I've been finding new coping mechanisms for all the old excuses I used to use. Like:
AV: "I feel nauseous, I need a beer to settle my stomach."
----> Try food, seltzer, ginger, and/or deal with the underlying psycho-dramatic issue causing the nausea!!
AV: "Horrible panic attack won't go away, a little booze will help take the edge off."
-----> Instead, try coping with it through various more direct mechanisms like deep breathing, going for a walk, counting, waiting it out, recognizing it for what it is, or maybe try the anxiety medication I'M PRESCRIBED FOR THIS REASON!
AV: "Everyone else is drinking."
----> Yeah well, most people also do lots of things. I don't. It's a choice. MY choice. My body, my life.
AV: "I'll be a lot more fun, and have a lot more fun, if I drink."
----> You mean, If I'm blacked out???
AV: "A little booze will energize me to get through this task."
----> A little coffee (or a snack, or some water, or--WOW-- maybe a BREAK or a NAP?!) will energize me better.
ETC!
Well I'd like to thank everyone here for your support and wisdom.
I don't know many sober people where I live, so you've made a huge difference in helping me know I'm not alone in this journey. And helping me understand my addictions, and my path, so much more clearly. 
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Clementina, that was such a well written and evocative post! I could feel your joy and your pride in yourself.
Really good stuff - I especially like the smack-down of your AV, those conversations are crucial.
I also loved the "I don't drink." That has been my mantra, too.
Well done! It only gets better.
Really good stuff - I especially like the smack-down of your AV, those conversations are crucial.
I also loved the "I don't drink." That has been my mantra, too.
Well done! It only gets better.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
Thank you everyone for your encouragement and kind words!!!!! It means a lot to me.
MaggieLou that's a big part of what I was going for in sharing this! -- I think it's really important to share when things are going well, not just things are rough
MaggieLou that's a big part of what I was going for in sharing this! -- I think it's really important to share when things are going well, not just things are rough
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