Snaggle

My best pal, my dog died one week ago. I picked up his ashes today. Even without this happening I find life too hard. I joined in March 13 and the,struggle is never ending. I can't see an end in sight but i try and try and try and constantly fail. Tell me please. What is the point of existing? I am 47. First drink at 13 and it felt liberating. Now I feel imprisoned.

silentrun

Sorry about your pup.

Dee74

I think you're grieving right now, and if you've been drinking too, it's very hard to see beyond the immediate.

If getting into recovery wasn't better than our drinking lives noone would be here on SR Snag

I drank my whole adult life. I didn't know how to live clean and sober. But I learned. You can too, but you have to get through the transition phase first.

Things do get better, but not immediately - and loss or grief will always hurt - but I've never lost myself sober, Snaggles.

I know a part of you wants help, that's why you've posted

If you're drinking, stop. There's really no other way to move forward than to put down the bottle.

If you can't do that, or you have and you feel imprisoned (by what exactly I wonder?) then maybe it's time to see your Dr or a counsellor for help through your grief and some suggestions on how to deal with it less destructively?

D

PurpleKnight

Hey Snaggle, sorry to hear about your dog!!

What changes have you made to your plan? have you tweaked it? is it sheer will power your working on or have you other support in place? meetings? etc

You can do this!!

Funtimefranky

Sorry you are down Snuggle. I'm only two days in so no great words of wisdom from me I'm afraid but I wanted to send a hug your way. Someone mentioned acceptance to me today and I realised that until I actually accept rather than just admit which is where I am at the moment, there will always be a struggle for me. If I understood your post correctly you have not drank for around 5 months and if so that's a great achievement. So sorry about your dog. Hang in there. Big hugs x

Thepatman

Really sorry about your best friend.

firstymer

Hi, Snaggle. I am sorry about the death of your dog. I love my golden retriever and will be very lonely when she dies, even though I know that dogs don't live for as long as we would like.

I am 50. I drank until I was 49. I drank to make life seem easier. But that didn't work. It just made life numb. Then, when I woke up after a night of drinking, it made life incredibly stressful.

Without alcohol, my problems didn't all magically disappear. But a lot of them did. (Poor physical health, anxiety, relationship problems, guilt). More importantly, once I got sober, I was better able to deal with the problems that remained in my life.

Quitting is hard. Really hard. But it is so much worth it. I started living again at age 49. You can start at age 47.

Good luck. We are pulling for you.

Hevyn

Hi Snaggle. I'm glad you wanted to post about your feelings.

I'm sure your emotions will be raw for awhile. Losing your friend is so new, and it hurts so badly. Most of us have been through this. It does ease up eventually. Try to think how your dog only wanted to make you happy - how he'd hate to know the pain you're in. I pray you'll find hope again in your life. We care about you Snaggle. Please seek help, as Dee suggested. You deserve to have a happy life - and you still have plenty of it left.

least

I understand the profound loss of our beloved pets. I hope you don't use this as an excuse to drink. Drinking won't help and will make things worse.

MsJax

Snaggle, I am so sorry about your pup . That is always so hard.

I know it is painful and the first instinct can be to pick up the bottle when you're sad but there really is a cleansing and raw sadness that comes from grieving sober. It is far different and real compared to grieving drunk. Every color is brighter, every edge sharper sober. It is ok to be sad.

It also is ok to be sad and feel horrible as you get sober. It is normal I think. You're here, you must want to do it. Maybe you can start now.

TnTPoP

Try and remember there is nothing in the bottle Snaggle that that pup would want for you.

I understand it's hard but let's try to live up to being the people our dogs already know we are!

LBrain

very sorry about your pooch - I know that feeling.

I gave up drinking near 55 - and it WAS liberating.

Gilmer

(((Snaggle))).

Go to bed early and don't drink tomorrow. It is worth going on--you will see. It takes time. Be patient and trust--and you will see, life improves when you're sober.

Marcher13

Snaggle it is very hard to manage a day like the one you've had, I hope you are asleep now. You can get past this, you really can -- one day at a time.

Anna

Snaggle, I am very sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. So, you are likely dealing with grief and the alcohol will keep you stuck in the moment. I hope you make the decision to stop drinking. You will be able to feel the feelings and it will be alright.

Elodie

I am so, so, sorry for your loss.

tootsl1

Snaggs I feel counselling will help and perhaps you need to consider an inpatient program to kick start your recovery. I know how much you want this, but sometimes desire is not enough, we need other help. (( hugs)))

VikingGF

So very sorry about your dog. I know your pain, but I also know that we need to be glad to have had them while we did. (Remind me of that when I lose my girl, she's 11 now.)

Lots of good advice and encouraging words on this thread already, so I will just add my sentiment that I hope you wake up in a place where you are willing to stay sober and will remember why you came here when you first did. Happy to be here for you, stay strong and come back lots and lots.

Lisa.

Inchworm

There is just a lot of sorrow in this world and I am sorry for yours, Snaggle. It really isn't all there is, though. Get some sleep and heal a bit.

RK2007

Snaggle,

So sorry about your dog dying.

My dog, Zac (Huskie/Alsatian cross) died not long ago. He was an amazing dog and was so full of life, really clever dog too. He could do all sorts of stuff.

He became ill and had to get put down because he was suffering too much.

I noted in your post a question about the point of existence.

We're here for the same reason that the stars are here, that Mars is here - that the Earth is here.

We're here because we ARE here. We are all the same. I'm struggling too. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I'm glad I'm not alone