NYyogini

Hi everyone, I am new to the Forum. I am hoping to get some help from you all. Not too long ago I became friendly with my neighbor who is in "recovery" for heroin. However, I am fairly certain that he is now using heroin. I don't want to see him doing this and I know he doesn't want to be doing this BC he told me in a very intense emotional conversation. One of the last times we were together he told me he needed to get Suboxone and I was completely shocked. I had no idea what it was but he assured me that it was the right thing for him BC his cravings were so strong. I figured that he must have already had a lapse though he didn't say so, he just said he didn't want to go back to where he was. He was sober for 5 years, relapsed and told me he had been sober for 4 months. Truth is, I have a crush on him and had to put some distance there BC I wasn't sure it was mutual and knew it wasn't appropriate for his recovery. I say hi when I see him. Which is rarely. I think he is sleeping all of the time and not lately he has shady characters coming around and he is leaving at all hours if the night. I know he told me before that he appreciated my support but when he started to become "overwhelmed" I decided to give him his space. Should I confront him? I would like to let him know that I am there to help him get clean but I am sure he already knows I am there for him, even if I have cooled things off between us. I care about him so much. I hate to see anyone do this to themselves. If I should say something, what do I day and what is the best way to go about it?

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum NYyogini!!

When it comes to addiction, only the addict can make the decision to change their life, all anyone can do looking in is to comment or reference their concern for the other person, but in the end the addict must choose to turn their life around.

It is heartbreaking though when you care for someone, but the reality is no one can be forced to change, some addicts unfortunately never recover!!

You'll find loads of support and advice here on SR to get through this!!

NYyogini

Yes! It is completely heart breaking. Wrenching.. All of that. All I do is worry about him

Elodie

I'm so sorry that you and your neighbor are going through this. Sending positive thoughts your way.

doggonecarl

You sound like a kind hearted person. But do yourself a big favor, DO NOT get sucked into the emotional maelstrom and dramatic turmoil of active addiction. Send him your prayers and find a healther outlet for your affections.

Harsh advice? We have an active Friends and Family forum. Pop over and read about all the heartache that comes out of a relationship with an addict. Then decide if I'm over reacting.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

NYyogini

Thank you DoggoneCarl. I think you are probably right. I can't believe how much he has changed in the last couple days. I miss that sober guy. Thanks for the info I will check it out. As much as I know you are right, I am still human and it is effecting me. I can't turn off my feelings for him or any human being for that matter but I am wise enough to keep healthy distance. Still looking out for him though, at a distance, I can't help but to, he's my direct neighbor. He's my friend...

least

Welcome to the SR family. I'm glad you joined us.

NYyogini

Thanks least. I love dogs too I have 2 German Shepherds.