What to Do? Feed back please!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bedford, texas
Posts: 2
What to Do? Feed back please!!!
Hello all!!!
I am very glad I found this group, I need it in the worst way.
Been reading a few of the post and really feel better knowing I have people I can talk with and share expererances with.
My Story
I have a wife of 13 years whom I love very much. In the past 3 years her drinking has gotten completely out of hand.
She used to get a little tipsy and fun....Now she becomes drunk and mean.
And it seems she does not have to drink near as much before she gets drunk. (is that possible?)
Once she starts drinking she will drink till it is all gone or she passes out.
When I try to stop her, she really gets mad.
This woman is the sweetest, prettiest and loving person you could ever want to meet...When she is sober! After about 4 drinks she becomes the HellCat.
This has gotten to the point it makes me sick to my stomach when I see it coming. I get so upset and mad I have to just get away from her if possible.
Most of the time she will follow me from room to room continuing to raise hell.
The next morning she is back to her wonderful self, saying how sorry she is for doing it and that it will not happen again. In the past this would happen maybe one time every 90 days, over the past year it has become one time a week and I can see it possibly progressing to daily if I don't get her some help.
From what I have read and learned here lately I am the classic enabler.
I have protected her from negative consequences and hidden this from friends and family to the point it is making me crazy.
I truly hope I can find a way to make her well again. She will be going to her first AA meeting today. I have heard that AA is the ticket for beating booze.
I will support this effort in anyway needed if it will help her. I want my wife back.
Thank You for reading,
Staster
I am very glad I found this group, I need it in the worst way.
Been reading a few of the post and really feel better knowing I have people I can talk with and share expererances with.
My Story
I have a wife of 13 years whom I love very much. In the past 3 years her drinking has gotten completely out of hand.
She used to get a little tipsy and fun....Now she becomes drunk and mean.
And it seems she does not have to drink near as much before she gets drunk. (is that possible?)
Once she starts drinking she will drink till it is all gone or she passes out.
When I try to stop her, she really gets mad.
This woman is the sweetest, prettiest and loving person you could ever want to meet...When she is sober! After about 4 drinks she becomes the HellCat.
This has gotten to the point it makes me sick to my stomach when I see it coming. I get so upset and mad I have to just get away from her if possible.
Most of the time she will follow me from room to room continuing to raise hell.
The next morning she is back to her wonderful self, saying how sorry she is for doing it and that it will not happen again. In the past this would happen maybe one time every 90 days, over the past year it has become one time a week and I can see it possibly progressing to daily if I don't get her some help.
From what I have read and learned here lately I am the classic enabler.
I have protected her from negative consequences and hidden this from friends and family to the point it is making me crazy.
I truly hope I can find a way to make her well again. She will be going to her first AA meeting today. I have heard that AA is the ticket for beating booze.
I will support this effort in anyway needed if it will help her. I want my wife back.
Thank You for reading,
Staster
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Statser, welcome to our forum! I'ts good to meet you and you'll find alot of kindred spirits here. I'm sorry your having to endure this pain right now. One thing I want to ask though, is she going to AA because she wants to stop drinking? Or is she going because she wants to do it for you? AA in any form I'm sure is a good thing but I know it's most effective if a person wants to do the program for themselves. I can see in your post that you love her, she's a lucky lady to have a partner like that, but most of your post seemed focused on her. What I want to know is how are YOU doing? How are you handling things? What kind of support group do you have? I want to encourage you to give Alanon meetings a try. Alanon can help you find ways to improve yourself, how you deal with things, how you take care of you. Helping her will be no good if you lose yourself in the process. You CAN'T make her well. I want to stress that...We are powerless over alcohol. You can though, learn to take care of you. I'm so glad you found us, please keep posting, you'll find a variety of great people here that know your pain and know what your going through. My prayers are with you! Hugs, Teggie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Staster,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm glad you found us.
I'm sure you love her, but you can't make her well.
She has to want that and do that for herself. That's the only way it works.
AA is a great ticket for beating booze, if someone truly has the desire to stop drinking.
Supporting her desire for recovery is all you can do.
Now...what about you?
Obviously you have realized how much this is affecting your life. That's why you're here.
Have you thought about Alanon meetings? That is a great way to meet people who are going through the same thing that you are going through.
Stick around, we understand what you're dealing with.
Gabe
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm glad you found us.
I'm sure you love her, but you can't make her well.
She has to want that and do that for herself. That's the only way it works.
AA is a great ticket for beating booze, if someone truly has the desire to stop drinking.
Supporting her desire for recovery is all you can do.
Now...what about you?
Obviously you have realized how much this is affecting your life. That's why you're here.
Have you thought about Alanon meetings? That is a great way to meet people who are going through the same thing that you are going through.
Stick around, we understand what you're dealing with.
Gabe
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bedford, texas
Posts: 2
AA was her idea. She wants to quit and has for a while. It all came to light last night when I set up the camcorder in a hidden place and let it record the ranting and raving in all it's beauty. When she awoke this morning and had her coffee I put it in and made her watch it. Now she has seen it from my eyes. It ai'nt pretty!!!!
Thanks for all the replies,
Staster
Thanks for all the replies,
Staster
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ayer's Cliff, Quebec
Posts: 803
Hi,
As Alcoholism progresses after awhile we don't need as much alcohol to get drunk, yes it's possible. It's due to damage to the liver.
Good for you for the video, maybe wake her up a bit.
And yes A.A if someone wants it is very effective in dealing with Alcoholism.
Ngaire
As Alcoholism progresses after awhile we don't need as much alcohol to get drunk, yes it's possible. It's due to damage to the liver.
Good for you for the video, maybe wake her up a bit.
And yes A.A if someone wants it is very effective in dealing with Alcoholism.
Ngaire
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