Confused
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ca
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Confused
Hello,
So XABF has been emailing me daily. It will first be about our son then he will bring up other things. I've told him that he needs to stop contacting me so much. He had ask why? I just told him because he's moved on and I'm moving forward in my life. He then said I understand that but I think you feel I have feelings for other people and not you. And that's not the case. I didn't respond back. But I thought, what is that suppose to mean and it just confused me. I try not to think to much into it but for some reason it bothered me.
I just need to stick to minimum contact for now since it's better for me.
Thanks for listening.
So XABF has been emailing me daily. It will first be about our son then he will bring up other things. I've told him that he needs to stop contacting me so much. He had ask why? I just told him because he's moved on and I'm moving forward in my life. He then said I understand that but I think you feel I have feelings for other people and not you. And that's not the case. I didn't respond back. But I thought, what is that suppose to mean and it just confused me. I try not to think to much into it but for some reason it bothered me.
I just need to stick to minimum contact for now since it's better for me.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
It's hard at first, I know: filtering out the BS. It does get easier, I promise. The advise I got here was to treat dealing with it like an appointment... Only the business facts: date, time, brief info about it. Anything else goes in the trash. It was hard to do starting out; I had to have my sister act as a filter at first. She'd read any e-mail, delete the stupid, and tell me what the valid questions/info were.
My next step was to start reviewing them on my own, with her nearby so I could ask, "Do I need to answer this or provide that info?" for the ones I wasn't sure of.
((((hugs)))) sending you peace and continued strength.
My next step was to start reviewing them on my own, with her nearby so I could ask, "Do I need to answer this or provide that info?" for the ones I wasn't sure of.
((((hugs)))) sending you peace and continued strength.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ca
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by theuncertainty 
It's hard at first, I know: filtering out the BS. It does get easier, I promise. The advise I got here was to treat dealing with it like an appointment... Only the business facts: date, time, brief info about it. Anything else goes in the trash. It was hard to do starting out; I had to have my sister act as a filter at first. She'd read any e-mail, delete the stupid, and tell me what the valid questions/info were.
My next step was to start reviewing them on my own, with her nearby so I could ask, "Do I need to answer this or provide that info?" for the ones I wasn't sure of.
((((hugs)))) sending you peace and continued strength.
My next step was to start reviewing them on my own, with her nearby so I could ask, "Do I need to answer this or provide that info?" for the ones I wasn't sure of.
((((hugs)))) sending you peace and continued strength.
It can be very hard at times with certain things he says. It's like he is trying to hook me back in when he obviously has a girlfriend. I just want him to leave me alone as much as possible.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
It is manipulation. My separated AH does same. We are talking about daughters daycare one minute then turns into he truly misses me the next. Yet he has a girlfriend. He tries to poke around to make sure I still want him. It is a mind game.
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Originally Posted by iamthird
It is manipulation. My separated AH does same. We are talking about daughters daycare one minute then turns into he truly misses me the next. Yet he has a girlfriend. He tries to poke around to make sure I still want him. It is a mind game.
They both need help! And they both need to leave me alone.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
Just do your best not to romanticize it. He may truly love you. I believe my separated AH truly loves me. Alcoholism is progressive and he is sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss right now. I have to see him almost daily because of our daycare arrangement/work schedules and it does wear on me so I know how you feel. Sometimes he comes in the morning and he looks so handsome and I just want to hug him! But then I fast forward in my mind to what would happen if I go down that road again....the answer is nothing good!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Originally Posted by iamthird
Just do your best not to romanticize it. He may truly love you. I believe my separated AH truly loves me. Alcoholism is progressive and he is sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss right now. I have to see him almost daily because of our daycare arrangement/work schedules and it does wear on me so I know how you feel. Sometimes he comes in the morning and he looks so handsome and I just want to hug him! But then I fast forward in my mind to what would happen if I go down that road again....the answer is nothing good!!!
Honestly I've been proud of myself to not even respond to half of the craziness because in my head I just want to write SHUT UP ALREADY. Lol
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