A reminder of how things used to be
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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A reminder of how things used to be
I have a friend who is a normal drinker and very occasionally will have a binge session. Last night was one of those sessions.
I went round to his house late morning to drop some things off. He looked pretty rough as you would expect. The thing that struck me was that he had showered, hair wash,cleaned teeth etc yet when he was talking to me at not a very close distance I could smell the booze.
The reason I tell this story is that that used to be me. How many times did I fool myself that no-one would know I had a hangover. That even by showering, changing, eating mints people could probably still smell alcohol on me. It is embarrassing, mortifying even to think of so many mornings at work, playgroups, out with friends and family where they could smell alcohol on me.
Most importantly is that it no longer happens as I no longer drink. Ever. We think we fool people when we're drinking but I suppose the only people we're fooling are ourselves.
I read a lovely post on here earlier about how great it is to feel sober in the morning. It is so so true. Shame and regret are replaced with peace of mind,calmness and serenity. For all those starting out or struggling you will get to this place if you stay sober
I went round to his house late morning to drop some things off. He looked pretty rough as you would expect. The thing that struck me was that he had showered, hair wash,cleaned teeth etc yet when he was talking to me at not a very close distance I could smell the booze.
The reason I tell this story is that that used to be me. How many times did I fool myself that no-one would know I had a hangover. That even by showering, changing, eating mints people could probably still smell alcohol on me. It is embarrassing, mortifying even to think of so many mornings at work, playgroups, out with friends and family where they could smell alcohol on me.
Most importantly is that it no longer happens as I no longer drink. Ever. We think we fool people when we're drinking but I suppose the only people we're fooling are ourselves.
I read a lovely post on here earlier about how great it is to feel sober in the morning. It is so so true. Shame and regret are replaced with peace of mind,calmness and serenity. For all those starting out or struggling you will get to this place if you stay sober
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Great post RAL.
I completely agree. Brings to mind an experience I had at the cafe last week. It was a weekday afternoon at about 3pm and I was having coffee in my usual spot. A friend of mine came in and sat next to me....he claimed he'd "had the day off" (he's a volunteer teacher down here). I could smell booze on him. He guzzled a smoothie and a cappuchino in a pretty sloppy fashion. It was pretty sad.
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.
Those of us in Sober-land are enjoying peace and serenity just like you said. We are at peace with ourselves, facing the world without our addictions weighing us down. It's great to be on this side of the fence!
I completely agree. Brings to mind an experience I had at the cafe last week. It was a weekday afternoon at about 3pm and I was having coffee in my usual spot. A friend of mine came in and sat next to me....he claimed he'd "had the day off" (he's a volunteer teacher down here). I could smell booze on him. He guzzled a smoothie and a cappuchino in a pretty sloppy fashion. It was pretty sad.
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.
Those of us in Sober-land are enjoying peace and serenity just like you said. We are at peace with ourselves, facing the world without our addictions weighing us down. It's great to be on this side of the fence!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 106
Sometimes I still cringe when I think about that! I recently forgot it was my girls open house at school and I had already been drinking, but I already promised we'd go, so we went anyway (luckily its walking distance) I did my makeup, brushed my teeth, wore perfume etc but looking back, I know the teacher could tell I had been drinking. So embarrassing. And you never realize you're "that mom" until you look back on it when you're sober.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
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Originally Posted by Ready2beSober 
And you never realize you're "that mom" until you look back on it when you're sober.
You won't cringe forever. Building up sober time, and more importantly, SOBER MEMORIES of good experiences, will set a good foundation for you moving forward!
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero
Great post RAL.
I completely agree. Brings to mind an experience I had at the cafe last week. It was a weekday afternoon at about 3pm and I was having coffee in my usual spot. A friend of mine came in and sat next to me....he claimed he'd "had the day off" (he's a volunteer teacher down here). I could smell booze on him. He guzzled a smoothie and a cappuchino in a pretty sloppy fashion. It was pretty sad.
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.
Those of us in Sober-land are enjoying peace and serenity just like you said. We are at peace with ourselves, facing the world without our addictions weighing us down. It's great to be on this side of the fence!
I completely agree. Brings to mind an experience I had at the cafe last week. It was a weekday afternoon at about 3pm and I was having coffee in my usual spot. A friend of mine came in and sat next to me....he claimed he'd "had the day off" (he's a volunteer teacher down here). I could smell booze on him. He guzzled a smoothie and a cappuchino in a pretty sloppy fashion. It was pretty sad.
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.
Those of us in Sober-land are enjoying peace and serenity just like you said. We are at peace with ourselves, facing the world without our addictions weighing us down. It's great to be on this side of the fence!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 106
[QUOTE=bigsombrero;4810211
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.[/QUOTE]
Whoah. Sad is an understatement! I bet he'll regret that for a long time.
Last year I took my kids on a trip to Mexico at a beautiful resort. It costed thousands of dollars, (that i couldnt afford) I'd been saving for months. The plan was to swim with dolphins, go horseback riding, go to an old museum, and more. I ended up planning our days around my drinking and taking pills. Didnt go to one restaurant without having a drink. Sadly, most of the trip is a blur. And we didnt do anything we had planned because the first night there I lost most of our spending money, so we spent most of our time near the pool and bar, because the drinks were free. Such a waste! I'm just glad nothing happened, because I was in no state of mind to be responsible for watching 3 kids in a foreign country.
Another buddy of mine out in San Diego had planned to spend the month in Spain. The whole MONTH of August. In Spain. Pretty awesome. But he missed his flight to Barcelona this past Sunday morning. Guess how that happened? Yep, he was out too late partying on Saturday. Now, he has chosen to spend the month renting out a dirty apartment up the road in Los Angeles instead. How sad.[/QUOTE]
Whoah. Sad is an understatement! I bet he'll regret that for a long time.
Last year I took my kids on a trip to Mexico at a beautiful resort. It costed thousands of dollars, (that i couldnt afford) I'd been saving for months. The plan was to swim with dolphins, go horseback riding, go to an old museum, and more. I ended up planning our days around my drinking and taking pills. Didnt go to one restaurant without having a drink. Sadly, most of the trip is a blur. And we didnt do anything we had planned because the first night there I lost most of our spending money, so we spent most of our time near the pool and bar, because the drinks were free. Such a waste! I'm just glad nothing happened, because I was in no state of mind to be responsible for watching 3 kids in a foreign country.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Speaking of seeing yourself in someone, I work with a young gal. She is a little on the quiet side, sweet, kind and not even 20 years old. I can sense that her "quiet" is somehow all about a discomfort in her own skin..despite her definite loveliness. I overhear her "party" stories. I notice that when she comes in to the restaurant on her "off" time with friends..she will have a drink...as will her mom...when none of the rest of the group will...at 11 a.m. I find it a little curious that her mom will actually be with this gaggle of young gals ....I digress
I just can't escape that feeling of where this lovely young woman is heading. Something in my gut tells me I am watching the seed of alcoholism sprouting right before my very eyes.
I just can't escape that feeling of where this lovely young woman is heading. Something in my gut tells me I am watching the seed of alcoholism sprouting right before my very eyes.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
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There is a person in the meeting I go to who is a wet drunk (this person's words). This morning this person had 16 hrs and was in high anxiety, shaking, tears, sweats. I SOOOO remember those feelings. SO brave to keep coming to meetings. . . I didn't have the guts to go to a meeting like that. This person KNOWS what to do and is trying. It is hard to see someone suffering like that. But, not to sound selfish, I NEVER WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
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Originally Posted by Ready2beSober
Sometimes I still cringe when I think about that! I recently forgot it was my girls open house at school and I had already been drinking, but I already promised we'd go, so we went anyway (luckily its walking distance) I did my makeup, brushed my teeth, wore perfume etc but looking back, I know the teacher could tell I had been drinking. So embarrassing. And you never realize you're "that mom" until you look back on it when you're sober.
My daughter, because of her birthdate, she won't go into K this fall but Trans-K which is what they are doing in California as they have been slowly moving back the birthday required for K earlier (from 12/2 to 9/2) to match most of the rest of the US. So she won't be in school with any of them.
Hopefully, a new start. I want to be the fit mom this year!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by soberjuly
Makes me cringe but pretty sure I was "that mom". But I'm not now. Funny, just dropped my daughter at tennis camp where she is going with 4 of her preschool classmates from last year. The moms say "hi" to be polite but never more and I'll see them talking like old friends when I arrive or after I leave. They walk to their cars together and etc. It used to bother me but now it doesn't. Maybe I stunk like booze. But it doesn't mean I will still be desperate for their approval. I'm not. I used to try for playdates, nothing. They always had excuses. My daughter's best friend, I've tried at least 2-3 times this summer to get a playdate going. Nothing. I saw the mom this morning, she said hello, I said hi, but I'm not going to ask anymore. I figure I've asked enough.
My daughter, because of her birthdate, she won't go into K this fall but Trans-K which is what they are doing in California as they have been slowly moving back the birthday required for K earlier (from 12/2 to 9/2) to match most of the rest of the US. So she won't be in school with any of them.
Hopefully, a new start. I want to be the fit mom this year!
My daughter, because of her birthdate, she won't go into K this fall but Trans-K which is what they are doing in California as they have been slowly moving back the birthday required for K earlier (from 12/2 to 9/2) to match most of the rest of the US. So she won't be in school with any of them.
Hopefully, a new start. I want to be the fit mom this year!
Ugh I know that feeling. I've never been one of the "popular" moms. My sistersand friends (aka drinking buddies) used to tell me its because the other moms are jealous, or something along those lines. Now I'm pretty sure its because I was the drunk mom, smelling like wine at open house lol. A combination of that, and the fact that I tried way to hard to be liked and to get their approval. I am right there with you, I wont be trying as hard this year. If they like me, great. If not that's ok. My kids like me just fine!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Originally Posted by Ready2beSober
Last year I took my kids on a trip to Mexico at a beautiful resort. It costed thousands of dollars, (that i couldnt afford) I'd been saving for months.
Going to Mexico in less than 2 weeks, again drinks are free, so I hope I have a good connection so I can check in here, vent here and etc. I plan on taking tennis lessons, aerobics, whatever they have...
Or hey...how about spending quality time with my husband and kids? before, they used to go swimming and etc...and I used to be at the pool bar. Which was in almost every pool.
Let's start the school year sober and healthy right? Maybe people will come around, maybe I can make new friends. I know once my cousin quit and a couple months had passed and she was barely recognizable. So thin, so fit, so pretty and young looking. Unfortunately she went back to drinking but that image is etched in my mind.
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Originally Posted by Ready2beSober
I am right there with you, I wont be trying as hard this year. If they like me, great. If not that's ok. My kids like me just fine!
Well, I started because of postpartum depression but then couldn't stop.
Since I quit drinking, I don't beat myself up about the past, I have changed and that is enough for me.
I will be nice and polite, but I am not going to be desperate for approval.
I am good enough.
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Gosh that was me too.I always struggled at playgroup, playdates etc. It always felt so false and I must have tried much too hard -looking and sounding desperate and smelling of wine.Not a great mix 
Since getting sober my confidence and self wort have increased. I'm happier and no longer try too hard. It is what it is. Whilst I'm still nervous sometimes I see that as normal, it's just me- I'm not the life and soul of the party and there is nothing wrong with that. I no longer try to be someone I'm not
Since getting sober my confidence and self wort have increased. I'm happier and no longer try too hard. It is what it is. Whilst I'm still nervous sometimes I see that as normal, it's just me- I'm not the life and soul of the party and there is nothing wrong with that. I no longer try to be someone I'm not
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 206
What a great post. It's just me and my son this evening, which would probably parlay into me plopping him in front of the tv while I drink, but this post really inspired me to keep the plug in the jug and enjoy my time with him. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
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There are consistent posts about people not wanting to go to rehab, AA, tell their doctor, friends, etc because they wouldn't want people to know they were alcoholics.
The only person who did not know was me.
The only person who did not know was me.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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MIR ain't that the truth. I thought I had everyone fooled, but it was really just me not wanting to admit my own problem. I was told today I look great. By someone who doesn't (or I thought) know I'm an addict. It kinda startled me. Then I thought hum it's noticeable. I wasn't pulling the wool over anyone's eyes but my own.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 53
This is such a great post. As it's approaching the weekend (my normal time to get absolutely disgustingly drunk) my friend earlier text me asking if I wanted to go out for drinks on Saturday. I didn't text back straight away...my addiction was messing with my mind wanting me to go. I came on here read this post which reminded me of why I am doing this. I just text her back kindly declining her offer and plan to stay at home with tea and movies all day! Just shows how helpful these kind of posts are. I do not want to go back there :-)
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