kkallday21

I am proud to say that I have a solid 14days of no contact... Although it hasn't been easy, I know if I responded those days would be a lot worse and I would remain in the insanity... I just hope that if I continue doing the next right thing and focusing on my recovery that eventually it will get easier... I still feel bad not responding, but I have to protect myself and cannot jump back on the rollercoaster... I must remind myself of this several times a day and accept that I did the best that I could.

cindy90

What are some ways you've been using to resist the urge to contact back?

kkallday21

Hey Cindy
For me, I know that by responding I am going to hurt even more and prolong my recovery… I had to make a decision to either continue living in hell/fear, or start a new healthy life for myself… Some of the things I have been doing is calling my Alanon program friends, attending a lot of Alanon meetings, sharing about it, posting on here for support, reading literature and past posts from others that have shared their story and I have really been praying asking my HP for help… It’s not easy, but I know it’s what I have to do if I want to heal… Are you in Alanon by any chance??

Amysad

I'm two weeks of no contact myself and I feel a bit more settled - stay the course and prioritize you

xsoldier

I'm almost to 14 days myself, I've not wavered any. Although she hasn't tried to contact me either. I tried to attend an Al Anon meeting tonight, but it was an old address.

Looking back, I see clearly the lies and manipulations. The outright cruelty, and twisting of facts, I'm not angry... I just get this sinking feeling in my stomach, because it all feels like such a lie.

Vale

Good for you!

atalose

It’s been 1 year 2 months and 10 days for me of no contact!!! I had to go back and look at a calendar to get the exact days…lol

No, it’s not easy and we do make it harder on ourselves when we continue to allow them access to us via text, phone calls, emails etc. Because the reality is, in 2 weeks they have not changed and then in 3 weeks they still have not changed so figuring out why you feel the need to still let them contact you is a great beginning for YOUR own recovery.

If you’re not quite ready to totally give them up yet, like they are not being ready to stop the drugs, then at least change their name in your phone to HURT AND PAIN, that way when they do text you or try and call it’s another reminder.

It’s like the monkey bars, you can’t go forward unless you let go of the bar behind you. And if you’re not letting go then you’re staying stuck.