grubby

Given the rash of "relapse" stories as of late, i thought this poll would be timely. The question is pretty simple:


For me I'd say boredom has been behind virtually ALL of my cravings, when my mind is busy or occupied i really don't even think about alcohol much. I guess it's true that saying: idle time is the Devil's workshop.

Please cast your vote and share whatever comments you may have on this topic.

People who have relapsed recently are welcome to chime in with their experience as well.

PurpleKnight

I'll pitch in with Complacency . . . unaware or forgetting the dangers of alcohol, the thought's of "I have a period of sobriety under my belt, let's have a drink".

I went round and round this circle for a long time, "I can now control alcohol", "things weren't so bad", forgetting how bad things really were!!

For me I need to have the same respect for alcohol now as I did on Day 1!!

ESD907

I think depending on age, and any # of situations, it can be all. but for me, probably the need for adult company. I've 6 children (all under 14) and my husband works away from home for sometimes months at a time (so you can see how ez it was for me to be a closet drinker). & we moved last year to a new town. I don't work, so lonely would get my vote for this time in my life. But I can see the younger single set going for social/peer.

DoubleDragons

All of the above are motivators for me to drink, but at 10 months sober (tomorrow), the real threat for me is mistaking abstinence for control. I am afraid that with enough sober time, I am going to trick myself that I can now control my drinking and if I do that successfully, than any one of those reasons could bring me to the edge of my wine glass.

IOAA2

I think I'd add all the above plus................
Gad I drank when the sun rose and set and the time in between. I've been sober a long time and people want instant everything and if they seem to feel out of sort they pick up too easily, that and an unwillingness to change. the other thing is drinking is so common it a self given right and people seem lost without it to focus on.

ScottFromWI

Other. Everything on your list is either a life event beyond our control, or the lack of having a plan to deal with them. That would be my biggest threat - not having a solid sobriety plan and/or not following it. Having a plan and following it makes everything on your list a manageable risk.

aborkie

I vote for empty stomach.

Aellyce

I think this varies from person to person, just like our triggers are variable. I always like the idea of observing our thoughts to recognize patterns that might lead to picking up a drink, and this is what has worked for me best so far. We all need to learn this individually, I think.

More specifically, for me, the biggest danger (if we can call it that) is when I feel "too good" and accomplished on a particular day. When I was still in the "love affair", I think I most often drank in the past simply because I liked the effect, as a reward. But this is not the hardest to recognize for me, it's the easiest, because it's most common I would crave alcohol on such days. The trickier ones are more subtle "cognitive chain reactions" that often trace back to old events/behaviors in my past that serve as "cues".

Being too hungry. The "ALT" part of HALT not much problem for me.

Acute stress/traumatic event, surprisingly, is really not much of a trigger for me, often almost the opposite.

And obviously, having alcohol nearby, although I personally don't tend to be so bothered by it much at this point if I'm not triggered otherwise.

Hope74

My #1 threat to my sobriety is becoming overwhelmed. I'm divorced with a busy medical career and three beautiful young girls to raise. Father is zero help, both as a parent and financially. I'm, admittedly, a bit of a control freak so it's hard for me not to be able to get EVERYTHING done! I've had to learn to let God handle things and just take a back seat to his will. VERY hard to do so it's VERY easy to become overwhelmed. Anyway...that's my demon...being overwhelmed. Thanks for listening.

Aellyce

In terms of stress, I think an important distinction is between "Sudden emotionally intense/stressful/traumatic event(s)", which is an option in the Poll, and chronic and often unpredictable stress, which is not an option. This is interesting, because stress is one of the most commonly studied component of the relapse mechanism in addiction research. There are many different experimental models to study different types of stress, and it's a greatly controversial issue in the field.

Maybe we can dissect "stress" in a follow-up thread later this way, breaking it down? For me, as I said above, "sudden stress/trauma" almost seems to have a protective, sobering effect, when my mind automatically wants to focus on finding a solution to the crisis or problem and avoid distractions. High levels of chronic and especially uncertainly stressful periods, however, are probably worse than anything... in fact, that was what led me to develop my drinking problem in the past when it had become an everyday, serious drinking problem.

Nonsensical

Me, drinking alcohol.

Angel1555

I voted for social situations. I think it really depends on where you are in your sobriety.

Gilmer

When I first got sober, it was definitely boredom. Now, though, i find it's the kind of annoying daily stressors that are giving me really deep frown lines between the eyebrows.

wpainterw

The biggest threat to sobriety is drinking and drugging.

W.

JustEric

That voice man.... Its always there and never wants to shut up. I gotta treat it like split personality disorder.

Notmyrealname

For me it was choosing to drink, or leaving myself an opening to choose to drink, that led me back to the drink.

I think a lot of people get quit just fine, but they still secretly keep a candle burning deep inside for that day when stress gets "bad enough" or they get "bored enough" or whatever "out" they kept on their sobriety comes to pass, and then it's drinking time, and the train leaves the tracks, kaboom.

That's building the house on the sand, not the rock. We make our own rules. If the rules allow for relapse under any set of conditions, it's not a question of "if" things will break down sometime, it's a question of "when".

LadyinBC

Ditto! I am really my biggest threat. My biggest threat would be me not caring about being sober anymore.

CAPTAINZING2000

What I've read on the subject stress is the number one cause

giochick

For me, my biggest challenge has been the urge to drink when I am feeling good/accomplished/celebrating. I think this happens for two reasons: one, it's such an ingrained habit, the idea of celebrating or that I "deserve" or have "earned" a drink because of an accomplishment. Two, when I finally sat down and said "drinking is ruining my life", and made a commitment to sobriety, I put a lot of effort into making a plan for how I would deal with the urge to drink as a response to negative issues such as anxiety, depression, etc. It was a real surprise the first time I was hit with a strong urge to drink as a response to good things happening! And I didn't have a great plan in place for how to deal with that, and I almost caved (I'm so thankful I didn't). Today is day 22, and it's getting easier to deal with that sneaky voice that tells me that I can drink because I did ____ good/positive thing and therefore it all balances out.

soberclover

I checked "other" and I would say relationships are the biggest threat to sobriety. Having said that; stress caused by the negative changes in the relationship are the threat.