An unpleasant breakthrough
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
An unpleasant breakthrough
Hey everyone,
I've relapsed several times around this point, when I'm newly sober and I didn't know why. I finally get it after my hopefully final recent relapse. I never fully accepted that I couldn't stop drinking once I'd started.
I recently used drink to overcome my shyness and I ended up unwell, embarrassed and I upset my partner. I feel terrible about it but I also know that the best way forward is to not let it happen again.
Just wanted to share that. I feel a big sense of relief that I've finally realised I can't drink. It's taken long enough!
I've relapsed several times around this point, when I'm newly sober and I didn't know why. I finally get it after my hopefully final recent relapse. I never fully accepted that I couldn't stop drinking once I'd started.
I recently used drink to overcome my shyness and I ended up unwell, embarrassed and I upset my partner. I feel terrible about it but I also know that the best way forward is to not let it happen again.
Just wanted to share that. I feel a big sense of relief that I've finally realised I can't drink. It's taken long enough!
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Originally Posted by ESD907 
Its liberating when you come to that realization. no more, I can have one or two. I can't have any, period. Takes a lot of pressure off. Decision has been made. Good Going.
Jane, the realisation you've had could prove to be a game changer. It totally made the difference for me and I know it can for you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Welcome Jane
So important to realize that no matter how many times we try to recapture those days of early drinking, when it worked ok for us, those days are now over.
They will never come back.
If we drink now it is in the knowledge that it is wrong for us and will only lead, yet again, to misery and loss.
Breathe a sigh of relief if you understand this.
And best wishes to you
G
So important to realize that no matter how many times we try to recapture those days of early drinking, when it worked ok for us, those days are now over.
They will never come back.
If we drink now it is in the knowledge that it is wrong for us and will only lead, yet again, to misery and loss.
Breathe a sigh of relief if you understand this.
And best wishes to you
G
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations on your thinking path.
I found it difficult to accept certain fact when I tried to get sober with my undisciplined thinking characteristics.
I was finally convinced to look at it as “I cannot drink anymore in safety.” That rings true for me many years later.
BE WELL
I found it difficult to accept certain fact when I tried to get sober with my undisciplined thinking characteristics.
I was finally convinced to look at it as “I cannot drink anymore in safety.” That rings true for me many years later.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Yep, that is an uncomfortable but necessary realization so many of us must face. Don't be surprised if you feel a sense of mourning; I still do sometimes and maybe I always will. But those feelings decrease over time, less in intensity and frequency. It is a process for sure. Congratulations!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Congrats, Jane. It is a big step and one fraught with a myriad of feelings. I finally figured out that one is too many and 100 is never enough. It is what it is. I do wish I could reverse the progress of my alcoholism but the fact is I crossed the line. There is no going back. And I am ok with that
Best of luck!
Best of luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,412
Originally Posted by JaneLane
I feel a big sense of relief that I've finally realised I can't drink. It's taken long enough!
Lisa.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
Hi JaneLane!
It's difficult and unpleasant as you described, I get that. It feels like a personal failing, but it's not. And it involves giving up a huge part of your life. Nobody wants to let go of the idea that we can have a couple drinks with friends and then stop.
But at the same time, it's also very freeing. You don't have to worry about it anymore. You've been trying to do something biologically impossible this whole time, and now you get to free yourself of that pointless battle. You get to put your time and energy towards better things.
(I finally had that same very difficult breakthrough on July 6 I feel a lot happier and more lucid now that I know. I've taken long 'breaks' before, but this one feels different.)
What I'm trying to say here is that this realization might not turn out to be so unpleasant after all
It's difficult and unpleasant as you described, I get that. It feels like a personal failing, but it's not. And it involves giving up a huge part of your life. Nobody wants to let go of the idea that we can have a couple drinks with friends and then stop.
But at the same time, it's also very freeing. You don't have to worry about it anymore. You've been trying to do something biologically impossible this whole time, and now you get to free yourself of that pointless battle. You get to put your time and energy towards better things.
(I finally had that same very difficult breakthrough on July 6
I feel a lot happier and more lucid now that I know. I've taken long 'breaks' before, but this one feels different.) What I'm trying to say here is that this realization might not turn out to be so unpleasant after all
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