chaos
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: nevada
Posts: 1
chaos
Hi I am 24 year old female who is in the program for a little while now. Before I got sober I got pregnant with a man I barely knew. After finding out I was pg I decided to take sobriety seriously and have been sober. I havent been perfect but its progress. I need so much help and the meetings out here feel like a meat market. I have a beautiful baby girl who is three months now and her father and I have split just recently. I couldnt stand to be around his drinking any longer. Plus his mother could use a big dose of alanon. Anyway it is my babys father and i feel like I should drag him to an aa meeting or alanon. Just for him to get a little awareness that he doesnt have to live like this. I feel i shouldnt give up because he is my daughters father. I just need some advice.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome SR, lahime! I wish I could give you good advice but I really can't beyond saying take care of yourself and your baby. If the father won't stop drinking then you have your answer. About 20 years ago I got divorced and my drinking was a big part of it. As much as I loved her I guess I loved drinking more. That makes no sense to anyone that's not an alcoholic, I realize.
Al-Anon sounds like a great idea. You probably can't change him. He will have to do that himself.
Al-Anon sounds like a great idea. You probably can't change him. He will have to do that himself.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm not sure we can change others who don't wish to be changed.
I think the very best thing you can do is everything you need in order to support your own sobriety and thereby be an example to your baby's father.
Asking him to come along to a meeting, sharing with him honestly about what you're finding in sobriety - these seem like good ideas.
If he's not ready or you need to "drag him along"... then you're probably better off just focusing on you and your baby so that you give your baby and yourSELF all the energy you need to live fully and happily. Perhaps he will follow in your steps one day.
I think the very best thing you can do is everything you need in order to support your own sobriety and thereby be an example to your baby's father.
Asking him to come along to a meeting, sharing with him honestly about what you're finding in sobriety - these seem like good ideas.
If he's not ready or you need to "drag him along"... then you're probably better off just focusing on you and your baby so that you give your baby and yourSELF all the energy you need to live fully and happily. Perhaps he will follow in your steps one day.
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