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Little tougher this week...

Old 07-25-2014, 11:19 PM
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Little tougher this week...

It's been a week. Another sober one. Threw away my cigarettes on Monday which was incidentally my 1st month anniversary of my sobriety date. Wednesday night feeling somehow restless and unanchored, I ate a bag of Cheetos, a bag of potato chips, a chocolate bar and some convenience store cup of sour soothers, snakes and jelly drops. Yuuuup. It rained here all day Thursday but I dragged my sorry self out for a run anyway. I really didn't want to but some saying bout self discipline being doing what you need to do when you don't want to popped into my head. The run was spectacular.

I did take a couple steps backward on another "issue" front... but I believe I have "righted" my path again.

Tonight I drove an hour out of town (and over a rather scary toll bridge) to my first LifeRing meeting. It was hard to find parking because they were actually filming a movie scene on the same block as the address I had. I found something not too far away. The meeting locale was basically a refurbished cottage with a community garden out in the back. I believe it is some sort of community learning center during business hours. For whatever reason, it looked to me like the sort of place where the Keebler elves might live. I arrived about 15 minutes before the meeting time and there was no one around. No body standing round smoking anywhere. Bout 5 minutes before the hour, the "convener arrived and I was terribly relieved (having come all that way). Although attendance was small (the convenor explained that meetings tend to be smaller in summer on hot summer days)...it was amazing all the same. It was this lovely, relaxed round table discussion...with great insight and a few good laughs. Despite the distance from my home, I will definitely attend again.

Just getting ready for bed. It hasn't felt like an easy week at all...but I think it's probably been a good one as sober progress goes. It has felt a little more like work this week. Someone at the meeting said tonight, "if you're comfortable...you're recovery probably isn't being worked enough. Probably something to that.

Tomorrow I'm off to a birthday pool party...I suppose that will prove a work out as well.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
it was amazing all the same. It was this lovely, relaxed round table discussion...with great insight and a few good laughs. Despite the distance from my home, I will definitely attend again.
Kinda makes the whole week worthwhile eh Nuu?

Re the cigarettes: hang in. I gave 'em up when I stopped drinking, now I can't abide the smell of burning tobacco and the smoke makes me gag -- nothing worse than a reformed smoker! I had been smoking for over 30 years so I expected it to be a lot harder than it was.

Since it's summer, why don't you spoil yourself with a pile of beautiful stone fruit, berries and mangoes?

Sleep well.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:41 PM
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Rooting for ya, Nuu

D
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:42 PM
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You're doing great Nuu. Moving forward means doing stuff that we don't want to sometimes. Forcing yourself out for a run, going to a lifeRing meeting when it would have been easier to have stayed home..they are important things to do.

I am 26 months sober, someone reminded me of that yesterday, and I still have days when recovery takes effort. It is no longer a case of 'if I don't do this I will drink', but more a 'this is gonna be a hard situation, can I cope?'.

Recovery is full of twists and turns, some days the path gets a bit bumpy. Some days you will wonder if you will make it.

But keep moving forward and don't ever look back. Easier times are ahead.

Oh and enjoy the party..
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
It is no longer a case of 'if I don't do this I will drink', but more a 'this is gonna be a hard situation, can I cope?'.
I really like that Jeni. That sentence to me speaks volumes about how we progress from fear to self sovereignty. Thank you for that... so very much.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:54 PM
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You remind me of me Nuu. A much more eloquent and sassy version maybe..lol

But I posted and shared lots at every stage of my journey. It helped me so much. But you are willing to do what it takes, as I was. And it's that willingness to step outside your comfort zone and do things despite being scared that will carry you through every step of your journey.

This approach means that one day you will wake up and the whole world looks different. Less scary. There will be opportunities rather than hurdles.

I've got a real good feeling about you. Keep moving forward
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:14 AM
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Great Stuff!!
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Old 07-26-2014, 05:14 AM
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Hang in there Nuu! Quitting both alcohol and cigarettes is tough! I beat tobacco 7 years ago. Ive read your posts. You speak your mind and have a strong will. Great combination! You can do this. You are doing great!!

Stay strong and Have a great weekend
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Old 07-26-2014, 05:27 AM
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No insight from me, just thank you and congratulations on going and sharing your literal and figurative journey. When I read Keebler elves an image of fudge striped cookies flashed in my head. Keep on!
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Old 07-26-2014, 06:02 AM
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Hope the coming week proves easier.
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Old 07-26-2014, 06:13 AM
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So proud of you, Nuu; you are really "workin' it". Glad that you enjoyed the LifeRing meeting!

I really enjoyed your junk food intake list; I could see myself sitting next you stuffing my mouth saying "Uhmm, good; burp".
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Old 07-26-2014, 06:18 AM
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Good job, Nuu! Some days, and weeks, are easier than others for sure. But each tough one is one more out of the way. You are doing great!
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Old 07-26-2014, 06:43 AM
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Great post...I always really enjoy reading your insight. Feeling a bit "restless and unanchored" myself but fighting through. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 07-26-2014, 07:17 AM
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I think we become a little bit stronger every time we face a difficult time with a sober mind. Doesn't feel like it sometimes, but when we emerge at the end of it, our sober muscles are that much stronger. You are doing fantastic, Nuu and brighter days are ahead.
It's so wonderful that you went to such lengths to attend that meeting, it shows how willing you are to do whatever it takes. And forgive yourself for the little "chow-down", it's a heck of a lot better than cracking open a bottle! I currently have two bowls of candy, one bowl of nuts, and a bag of popcorn twists on the counter beside me (all half-empty)!
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Old 07-26-2014, 11:04 AM
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I went to an aa meeting at the beach this morning. I thought it was really cool to go somewhere outside of an old church or hole in the wall somewhere. The garden meeting sounds nice as well. I now have two meetings I feel good about going to. Thanks for sharing your experience!
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Old 07-26-2014, 12:59 PM
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Hey Nuu,

I do not have any great insight for you either Nuu. I'm still getting used to riding out the longer-term hard times or discomforts without any quick fixes. Just want to say Bravo! and thanks for sharing your journey so well with us all. You are an invaluable voice here.

Hope that pool party gathering is a fabulous workout and that there are some good surprises there in store for you.

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Old 07-26-2014, 01:24 PM
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Thanks guys! Managed to haul myself on another run this morning. I actually listened to some motivational hypnosis podcast just prior...for extra mojo. Not sure what got me hitting the pavement..me or the podcast. But I did 'er all the same. Just getting ready to hit the highway for the pool party. Not really sure what to expect.

I feel so very weird this week. Something tells me it's a good weird..but I simply cannot deny the fear and anxiety lurking within It almost feels as if I am expecting some sort of bogeyman to jump out and scare the sh*t out of me. Low level anxiety I guess.

Lucie that meeting sounds really wonderful. Wonder if there is one like that in the coastal city I'm near.

Alright..off I go. Enjoy the next 24 guys.
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:29 PM
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Hi Nuudawn,

That LifeRing meeting sounds great, I wish there was more stuff like that around where I am.

Keep on keepin' on, and enjoy the pool party!
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:19 PM
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Great about the meeting, Nuu. I also tried to explore AA, and with the amount and diversity of meetings where I live, I concluded it's either my weakness... or it's just that I need something else for me. So I started going to the philosophy school I'd attended a couple years ago. I stopped going back then, first because drinking at home seemed more appealing, and because I was a judgmental snob, thinking it was not good enough for my twisted academic standards. The truth is, many people who go to that school are a lot like myself, including seeking new friends and a new life. I'll keep goin'

And yep could not relate to "weird" more more about this week. I started taking an antidepressant about a week ago and saying "I'm not feeling like myself" is an understatement.... I think sometimes we just need to sit back, observe the changes, and then jump into the result!
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:30 PM
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Nuudawn-a giant congratulations on the cigarettes. They get a hold of you like a python and won't let go. Three weeks today for me. I am toying with the idea of quitting coffee "when" I get some energy and motivation.
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