1stepup

Living sober seemed to me like drowning in the end, it was unbearable, Im now a week into the latest binge and Im scared of feeling that way again although I know I cant live the way Im doing now- if that makes sense?

The end came when some old school friends asked me for a jamming session, they didn't realise that id been sober for over two weeks so cant blame them just wanted one night of being 'normal' and its cost me dear, Im scared for my sanity and health dont know if I can face AA friends again- they know but Im worried in case its making the situation worse-over analysing how I live sober is making anxiety worse. Feeling like a broken record here too.

PurpleKnight

For me "normal" was drinking myself blackout drunk each night, it wasn't "normal" when I really thought about it, I had to really accept that reality to really make any long term progress!!

Go at things again!! You can do this!!

Dee74

I'm sorry 1step.
One think I know is - when you're drowning, you need to ask for help.

as for this binge - the longer it goes on the more you put at risk.

what about phoning some AA buddies?

D

Ghostlight1

I don't understand what you mean when you say living sober seemed like drowning at the end.
You can see where not living sober got you. Drowning in alcohol.
I've used many excuses to start drinking again, but they were all smoke and mirrors, my alcoholic mind telling me it was safe. I did this a hundred times, literally.
I had anxiety after drinking, too. But after a week long binge-be prepared, you're in for a load of it, if you're anything like I was.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I was a drunk for 23 years. I know the drill.
I hope you go back to AA and get sober.