Building a Life ever after (What I've learned...)
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Texas
Posts: 28
Building a Life ever after (What I've learned...)
It's been on my mind alot since my AH passed away in April and I wanted to share this with those of you who have decided to stay with your A for the long haul. I promise you the end won't be pretty!
Educate yourself! Know what to expect. Learn the terms so you know what the doctors are talking about. But, don't let the knowledge take over your life. You can't spend weeks, months, or years constantly watching for the next symptom. You'll make yourself crazy!
You will be lonely A LOT! Find activities that YOU enjoy and do them now. You cannot put your life on hold to take care of your A. They aren't putting their life on hold for you!
Make friends. Or go to/get back in church. If you are a loner, get over it. Build a support network you can depend on. You will need friends (and acquaintances) to help you through the dark days. All of these friends don't need to know the details of your life. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house with someone and just "forget" about your A for a little while.
Take care of your health. This sounds like a no-brainer, but we often spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we have nothing left for ourselves. This includes mental and physical health! Sometimes a walk around the block will diffuse a tense situation and give you time to regroup!
Go to Al-anon if at all possible. Try different groups until you find one that fits. If it's not possible, then come here to SR and find someone to talk to. Post on the boards. Or, if you find someone on here whose advice resonates with you, talk privately with that person if they're willing.
Toward the end, things will be very tough! The "end" is another post altogether, when I have the strength to write it. You will be ahead of the game if you already have a life of your own.
Peace.
Educate yourself! Know what to expect. Learn the terms so you know what the doctors are talking about. But, don't let the knowledge take over your life. You can't spend weeks, months, or years constantly watching for the next symptom. You'll make yourself crazy!
You will be lonely A LOT! Find activities that YOU enjoy and do them now. You cannot put your life on hold to take care of your A. They aren't putting their life on hold for you!
Make friends. Or go to/get back in church. If you are a loner, get over it. Build a support network you can depend on. You will need friends (and acquaintances) to help you through the dark days. All of these friends don't need to know the details of your life. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house with someone and just "forget" about your A for a little while.
Take care of your health. This sounds like a no-brainer, but we often spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we have nothing left for ourselves. This includes mental and physical health! Sometimes a walk around the block will diffuse a tense situation and give you time to regroup!
Go to Al-anon if at all possible. Try different groups until you find one that fits. If it's not possible, then come here to SR and find someone to talk to. Post on the boards. Or, if you find someone on here whose advice resonates with you, talk privately with that person if they're willing.
Toward the end, things will be very tough! The "end" is another post altogether, when I have the strength to write it. You will be ahead of the game if you already have a life of your own.
Peace.
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