21Hope

My husband gave me grief last night for posting on this site. I think he is insecure but he's worried that I am putting myself out there to strangers. I was embarrassed and nervous when he saw me on the site again. Makes me sad that he doesn't trust me and doesn't understand what I get from reading your posts. I feel torn. I need you guys, your stories and your support!

Nowsthetime

I was nervous about my hubby knowing that i post so i have kept it a secret. Just let him read all your post if he reads he will understand and learn. Sorry this is happening to you right now. I think and honest open chat and him seeing your persona on SR can help.

Keep us posted.

21Hope

I did, but it didn't help!

aasharon90

Hi 21Hope....Im not familiar with your
story, like not knowing if you are the one
in recovery or is ur husband.

I was the one who entered recovery 23yrs.
ago via family intervention. My family was
supportive of my recovery but we lacked
communication and understanding of my
recovery program.

They were glad I made a decision to remain
sober, but didn't understand what it really
meant to me or how important it was for me
to incorporate a program of recovery in my
everyday affairs.

They figured once I learned not to drink
any longer then I was cured and didn't need
to be so dependant on my program each
day I stayed sober.

I could explain to them till I was fed up
or blue in the face so to speak and that
didn't do any good but frustrate me.

Since my husband or kids had no addiction
problems meaning none of them were alcoholics
or addicts then they truly didn't know what it
was like to be one. Much less one in recovery.

It came down to continueing with my mom
and wife duties for them and my recovery
for me. Alone. I needed and wanted the fellowship
of other members who new exactly who and
what I was and where I was coming from with
no questions asked. I was accepted.

Today some 23 yrs of many one days at
a time sober down the road, I have not
let up on my continued service in recovery
because over the yrs. and still today, so
many have paved the path of recovery
for me to follow and now its my time and
has been to give back what all that has
been freely passed on to me to others
still struggling with addiction.

It's part of my life that has given me happiness,
health, gratefulness and many other awesome
gifts in recovery that I can live with for many
more yrs to come.

It's what I want and need and refuse to
give it up for no one. Including family.

LBrain

I explained to my wife that these were my meetings. So instead of leaving the house for a few hours every day I came here.

Anna

If your husband doesn't trust you, then that's a problem that may or may not have anything to do with addiction. You are sitting in your home, reading on a website full of helpful and caring people and there is nothing wrong with that. Please don't allow him to stand in the way of your recovery.

21Hope

Exactly what I said. We'll see, hopefully he will get that this is a disease and I can't " just don't drink so much", and I need to " talk to alcoholics online" hello babe, but I'm also an alcoholic online! #frustrated

PurpleKnight

Well the next time I'm California (population 38 million), I'll be sure to look up "21Hope" . . . my point being SR can be even more anonymous than face to face meetings!!

Surely he wants you to be well? and if SR contributes to that then he shouldn't have a problem!!

21Hope

And you might sweep me off my feet with your drunk stories! Argh!!!

soberjuly

I told my husband when he sees me on the laptop, I am probably on my alcoholic support message board and I need this. I told him I am posting at the times I used to be drinking or just because it's helpful. He's fine with it, he prefers it to me drinking.

Jupiters

hi 21! and welcome, sorry to hear the hubs is giving you a hard time for this.

he does want you to stop drinking though? like, he WANTS that for you?

21Hope

Yes, but he sees it as a choice not a disease. I've also his lack of trust for me. I had an emotional affair a few years ago on FB with an old boyfriend. He blamed himself for not giving me enough attention. He is worried that I'm seeking attention again. He works full time and own a website that he works on in the evening.

Foolsgold186

I let my boyfriend read my posts. I find it hard to say how I feel sometimes so it helps him understand too. If i didnt want him to read something I wouldn't but I've found it a useful tool.

Hope your husband realises how positive it is for you to share.

Wishing you well.

L x