If it isn't one thing its always another
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
If it isn't one thing its always another
From drinking myself to abject poverty to lying to everyone I know. Life feels like I am always putting out one fire to watch another start. Sheesh, catching up and keeping up with this type of lifestyle sucks.
I am sober and sad and regretful at times, and have lots of anxiety. I just wish at times, I never drank or did anything I might regret.
At times my marriage is awesome at other times its horrible. No matter what I love my wife, but the exchanges we've had recently really hurt ( for both of us) man I wish I could take everything back and restart.
Knowing I can't restart, I know that I have to move forward in recovery no matter what, I can't look back and can't have regrets or I might drink. The idea of moving forward, without alcohol, without whatever, is scary and a novel idea to me, looking back and knowing what has happened is worse.
I can say the future is scary as hell the past is scary than hell, I can't change the past, I can only modify or change my future. Wish I wasn't a addict, but I am and that sucks. I hate what I've done, but look forward to what I can do.
So I still have hope, the wife and I get along most of the time, have are moments but there is some change for the better and some things that are honestly worse. However, I know the drink can't change any outcome better or worse, man I hate what I've done, but man do I look forward to what I can do.
Its like being stuck in some sick conundrum, where the medicine you thought worked only makes things works, and the things you never thought would work make you insane with cravings and insanity.
So on this morn, after lots of thought and contemplation, and much sadness and grief I've decided to move on and still be positive. I have much to be negative about, but just trying to be positive.
TDG here, having mass cravings and feeling down at 1202 AM, but staying sober and looking forward to a brighter future. Stay safe and sober friends.
I am sober and sad and regretful at times, and have lots of anxiety. I just wish at times, I never drank or did anything I might regret.
At times my marriage is awesome at other times its horrible. No matter what I love my wife, but the exchanges we've had recently really hurt ( for both of us) man I wish I could take everything back and restart.
Knowing I can't restart, I know that I have to move forward in recovery no matter what, I can't look back and can't have regrets or I might drink. The idea of moving forward, without alcohol, without whatever, is scary and a novel idea to me, looking back and knowing what has happened is worse.
I can say the future is scary as hell the past is scary than hell, I can't change the past, I can only modify or change my future. Wish I wasn't a addict, but I am and that sucks. I hate what I've done, but look forward to what I can do.
So I still have hope, the wife and I get along most of the time, have are moments but there is some change for the better and some things that are honestly worse. However, I know the drink can't change any outcome better or worse, man I hate what I've done, but man do I look forward to what I can do.
Its like being stuck in some sick conundrum, where the medicine you thought worked only makes things works, and the things you never thought would work make you insane with cravings and insanity.
So on this morn, after lots of thought and contemplation, and much sadness and grief I've decided to move on and still be positive. I have much to be negative about, but just trying to be positive.
TDG here, having mass cravings and feeling down at 1202 AM, but staying sober and looking forward to a brighter future. Stay safe and sober friends.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
It is tough at first but you are doing it. Learning to live life on life's terms takes practice.
I never did it before, I escaped from it. Every difficulty was met with escape to the bottle. If was in the center and I revolved my life around it. Problem at work, drink. Problem at home, drink. Pissed at traffic, the first thing that came to my mind "I need a drink". Always and forever.
Now I have to deal with it which in reality is what most people do. They cope and get through it. That is life but it takes time and practice to be able to do that when you have never done it before.
You are sober. That is awesome. It hurts quite a bit at first but it gets easier as you learn to deal with life. It has its ups and downs, just don't drink and it will be okay. You feel stronger as time goes by.
I never did it before, I escaped from it. Every difficulty was met with escape to the bottle. If was in the center and I revolved my life around it. Problem at work, drink. Problem at home, drink. Pissed at traffic, the first thing that came to my mind "I need a drink". Always and forever.
Now I have to deal with it which in reality is what most people do. They cope and get through it. That is life but it takes time and practice to be able to do that when you have never done it before.
You are sober. That is awesome. It hurts quite a bit at first but it gets easier as you learn to deal with life. It has its ups and downs, just don't drink and it will be okay. You feel stronger as time goes by.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
You are doing brilliantly. You are right about leaving the past behind.
About the future, try to not to see forward too much. Live for today and let the future with it's surprises, both positive and negative unfold by itself.
Both past and future we don't have control over.
About the future, try to not to see forward too much. Live for today and let the future with it's surprises, both positive and negative unfold by itself.
Both past and future we don't have control over.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and try to hang in there. I quickly found out at meetings that just stopping drinking without other changes does not avail much in regards to recovery. Yes we are free of alcohol however our drinking way of thinking and acting are still there and eventually cause us to drink or be very negative, resentful, angry and miserable people instead of becoming a person that’s comfortable in their own skin.
It works and takes time if we work at it.
BE WELL
It works and takes time if we work at it.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
I get that you think that it's a conundrum.
But it really isn't.
You can't drink safely, you can't change the past, you can change the now and the future and you are going to need help doing it sober.
The conundrum (of our own making) comes when we start to think that our old ideas might just work for us again.....
They won't.
It gets better.
G
But it really isn't.
You can't drink safely, you can't change the past, you can change the now and the future and you are going to need help doing it sober.
The conundrum (of our own making) comes when we start to think that our old ideas might just work for us again.....
They won't.
It gets better.
G
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi, I guess you both have to work your way through the challenges of sobriety. Don't forget she will probably have hoarded a lot of resentment, and will need time to get this out of her system.
My only suggestion would be to do something nice for her now and again. I'm not necessarily talking about flowers; maybe gardening, or make her breakfast or take over one of her tasks. Little gestures like that can help a lot.
My only suggestion would be to do something nice for her now and again. I'm not necessarily talking about flowers; maybe gardening, or make her breakfast or take over one of her tasks. Little gestures like that can help a lot.
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