How do I start the process of recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 30
How do I start the process of recovery?
I'll try not to go into too many details, but I'm at the same stage as many of the newbies on this forum. I've promised myself for the past 10 years that I would "stop drinking" or "drink less" or "just have one." I made it a month once, and rewarded myself with a drink. Otherwise, after each terrible hangover and resolution to never drink again, I start about 2 days later. I am very fortunate that no terrible things have happened as a result of my drinking (other than my 8 year old asking me to "please not have another beer.") I drink (lots and lots) starting at about 5 p.m. because I am bored, bored, bored and the evenings seem interminable. But I get it, I'm tired of being hung-over, tired of not remembering conversations I've had with my children, tired of embarrassing myself with things I've said/posted/emailed when drunk. It's time to stop.
But the question is, how do I start the process? Can I just show up at an AA meeting? Years ago when I saw a therapist, she said AA meetings were really for people who were already in recovery, and since I wasn't there yet, she steered me towards a rehab center. As lame an excuse as it may be, I find the idea of going to a rehab center a difficult choice, as I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 children, and am not sure what I would do with them while I"m gone. The hours were like 5-9 pm. 7 days a week for outpatient therapy, and I don't think inpatient would ever be an option for me.
So, is that true? Should I only go to AA after doing a rehab stint?
Also, many people on this forum say to "see your doctor." But I'm afraid that HE'S going to send me to rehab. What does seeing the doctor really do?
Has anyone tried Antabuse? Seems like it might be a good idea for me. I have so much resolve in the a.m., and HATE being sick, so think I could avoid that first drink if I were on antabuse. Thoughts? Are doctors comfortable prescribing that?
Some people mentioned the have their "own programs of recovery." What does that involve?
So . . . . any suggestions on first steps, or reflections on how your first week or two went (to those who have been successful) are very appreciated!
And thank you in advance for your help.
But the question is, how do I start the process? Can I just show up at an AA meeting? Years ago when I saw a therapist, she said AA meetings were really for people who were already in recovery, and since I wasn't there yet, she steered me towards a rehab center. As lame an excuse as it may be, I find the idea of going to a rehab center a difficult choice, as I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 children, and am not sure what I would do with them while I"m gone. The hours were like 5-9 pm. 7 days a week for outpatient therapy, and I don't think inpatient would ever be an option for me.
So, is that true? Should I only go to AA after doing a rehab stint?
Also, many people on this forum say to "see your doctor." But I'm afraid that HE'S going to send me to rehab. What does seeing the doctor really do?
Has anyone tried Antabuse? Seems like it might be a good idea for me. I have so much resolve in the a.m., and HATE being sick, so think I could avoid that first drink if I were on antabuse. Thoughts? Are doctors comfortable prescribing that?
Some people mentioned the have their "own programs of recovery." What does that involve?
So . . . . any suggestions on first steps, or reflections on how your first week or two went (to those who have been successful) are very appreciated!
And thank you in advance for your help.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
All that is required to go to an AA meeting is a desire to quit drinking, your therapist was wrong. Absolutely go to a meeting if you feel it would help.
The only way you can be "forced" into rehab is if you were somehow arrested for an alcohol related offense and the court ordered it, or if you were considered a risk to yourself because of extreme/frequent intoxication.
There are many other types of recovery methods that are self paced too, you can read about many of them in the subforums here.
Bottom line though, none of them will work if you don't make the effort and take the action necessary to follow through.
The only way you can be "forced" into rehab is if you were somehow arrested for an alcohol related offense and the court ordered it, or if you were considered a risk to yourself because of extreme/frequent intoxication.
There are many other types of recovery methods that are self paced too, you can read about many of them in the subforums here.
Bottom line though, none of them will work if you don't make the effort and take the action necessary to follow through.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Welcome So2014.
Rebab is an option, but the success rate for patients who have gone through rebab is abysmal, even for expensive rehab centers. Many people, if not most, get sober without a stay in rehab.
You're therapist is wrong. You can go to AA. Do a Google search on your city name and AA and you will find a list of meetings. Pick one that works for you and just go. That's a start.
A visit to your Dr. may also be a good idea.
Do you suffer physical withdrawals when you stop drinking for a few days? If not, I suggest making the commitment to stopping right now, this very moment. No excuses, no buts, just do it.
Rebab is an option, but the success rate for patients who have gone through rebab is abysmal, even for expensive rehab centers. Many people, if not most, get sober without a stay in rehab.
You're therapist is wrong. You can go to AA. Do a Google search on your city name and AA and you will find a list of meetings. Pick one that works for you and just go. That's a start.
A visit to your Dr. may also be a good idea.
Do you suffer physical withdrawals when you stop drinking for a few days? If not, I suggest making the commitment to stopping right now, this very moment. No excuses, no buts, just do it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
I drank as I was bored in life too, but when I got Sober I needed to really think about what I was doing in my life, the answer wasn't very much, getting Sober needs to be more about simply not drinking, it's about carving out a new lifestyle, what do you want to do with your evenings? what do you want out of life?
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
I drank as I was bored in life too, but when I got Sober I needed to really think about what I was doing in my life, the answer wasn't very much, getting Sober needs to be more about simply not drinking, it's about carving out a new lifestyle, what do you want to do with your evenings? what do you want out of life?
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
For me, seeing my doctor and being open and honest with her about my daily alcohol consumption (which was in the danger area if spread over a week), gave me reassurance that I was going to be ok, it gave her the opportunity to check me for the damage I had been doing, and most importantly it made the fact of quitting alcohol real and tangible for me. I had quit drinking, and this was something it made sense to do.
You can do many things, but the recovery process starts only when you stop drinking. And this doesn't need to be a process at all - you can shorten the whole thing into an event. Boom. Done. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot achieve.
I recommend getting sober 100%.
You can do many things, but the recovery process starts only when you stop drinking. And this doesn't need to be a process at all - you can shorten the whole thing into an event. Boom. Done. Don't let anyone tell you what you cannot achieve.
I recommend getting sober 100%.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Oceanside CA>
Posts: 29
Welcome to the form
If you go to rehab for say 30 days. I guarantee you when you get out they will make sure you go to AA for support. I would suggest you go to a woman's AA meeting and talked to some of the girls there that have sometime with sobriety. AA is open to all
If you go to rehab for say 30 days. I guarantee you when you get out they will make sure you go to AA for support. I would suggest you go to a woman's AA meeting and talked to some of the girls there that have sometime with sobriety. AA is open to all
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome to SR so2014.
Good suggestions already - we're glad you're here. I felt so much better after I joined the family and talked about my struggle. I found the courage to quit a life long habit. It feels great to be free.
Good suggestions already - we're glad you're here.
I felt so much better after I joined the family and talked about my struggle. I found the courage to quit a life long habit. It feels great to be free.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hi SO2014,
Welcome. For me the first step to actually stopping drinking was that I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. It sounds like you are at this point also. It sure takes a long time to get there but when we do we know it.
For the first few days and actually the past few weeks I visited this site every single day, many times a day. It helped to fill my time that I was normally drinking and also helped me to remember why I wanted to stop by relating to others who have been in the same boat. I would also check this site on my phone sometimes while waiting at a red light or walking through the grocery store. The temptation was so strong after a few days that I had to keep the reasons why I wanted to stop drinking at the very front and center of my mind.
I also had to remind myself many times during the day that my life would get better, even though it was so hard to believe at the time. I think it also helps to make a list. Write the 10 reasons that you want to stop drinking on a little piece of paper and keep it in your purse.
One other tip I have is to go very easy on yourself. If you need to lay on the couch do it. If you need ice cream eat it. If you need to scream, scream into a pillow or in the car with all the windows closed. I find that a physical release helped during the cravings.
You can do this and you can be done today.
Welcome. For me the first step to actually stopping drinking was that I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. It sounds like you are at this point also. It sure takes a long time to get there but when we do we know it.
For the first few days and actually the past few weeks I visited this site every single day, many times a day. It helped to fill my time that I was normally drinking and also helped me to remember why I wanted to stop by relating to others who have been in the same boat. I would also check this site on my phone sometimes while waiting at a red light or walking through the grocery store. The temptation was so strong after a few days that I had to keep the reasons why I wanted to stop drinking at the very front and center of my mind.
I also had to remind myself many times during the day that my life would get better, even though it was so hard to believe at the time. I think it also helps to make a list. Write the 10 reasons that you want to stop drinking on a little piece of paper and keep it in your purse.
One other tip I have is to go very easy on yourself. If you need to lay on the couch do it. If you need ice cream eat it. If you need to scream, scream into a pillow or in the car with all the windows closed. I find that a physical release helped during the cravings.
You can do this and you can be done today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Dracut,MA
Posts: 78
You can go to AA anytime ! When relapsing, I would STILL go to meetings - many times drinking a beer on the way there and another on the way home. The people at AA have been though this and pass no judgement. You don't have to be "in" anything to go to AA - you just have to want to stop drinking. For me, the AA community did more to make me feel better than any doctor of counselor ever did. In addition, going to AA will give you something to do and you won't be bored.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome so2014
Lots of great advice here.
With regards to the Dr I can tell you what not going to the Dr can do - I had a very bad home detox.
I'll always be dealing with the health legacies of that decision not to seek professional advice.
I'm not trying to scare you - you may be fine - but why take the chance?
Get checked out
D
Lots of great advice here.
With regards to the Dr I can tell you what not going to the Dr can do - I had a very bad home detox.
I'll always be dealing with the health legacies of that decision not to seek professional advice.
I'm not trying to scare you - you may be fine - but why take the chance?
Get checked out
D
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Welcome to SR. Not having any idea regarding your level of addiction (e.g is it both physical and psychological)..a trip to the doc isn't a bad idea. Detox can require medical attention. Only you will know if that's necessary. My recovery requires "support" of others who understand. I get a tremendous amount of help with that from the fine folks here at SR. I have recently added AA to the mix because it gets me out and about and is face to face. Drinking was my primary "hobby" therefore, I am often not sure what to do with myself without it. I also enjoy reading "recovery" oriented books as that also helps to affirm my sobriety decision.
What I will say about AA is please check out a variety of meetings as they can all feel quite a bit different despite essentially following the same format.
Again..welcome!
What I will say about AA is please check out a variety of meetings as they can all feel quite a bit different despite essentially following the same format.
Again..welcome!
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