Hockeyerik

Have been out of my house since Thursday. My AW has been calling and texting a lot. She is using all kinds of gut and manipulation to try and get me home. She has continued drinking since I left. I have blocked her number because I have said all I need to say to her, it's up to her now.
I want to see her get well but my question is to anyone who has experienced this. If my leaving didn't seem to faze her will anything get through to her? I know when I got sober it was an a-ha moment due to a seizure. I feel like the time for her a-ha has passed and this may not happen.
2nd al-anon meeting tonight for me and I need it right now. Thanks for listening.

biminiblue

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. Take care of yourself and let it unfold.

FireSprite

There's no way to predict if/when/what will be "enough" to "get through" to her..... or how long away that day is. Or if it will ever even arrive for that matter.

Any time I thought RAH had hit his bottom, I was wrong.... and then when he seemingly did, I could have never predicted it.

lillamy

That. Exactly.

From what I understand, it's different from person to person what constitutes "hitting rock bottom." And like FireSprite says -- some just don't. My ex is one of them. He half-heartedly pretended at rehab after I left him, but started drinking again as soon as he realized I really wasn't coming back. I don't know where he is now, but I know he lost his job and his house. And kept blaming everything and everyone else and drinking.

I know that's not what you want to hear. But that's my story. What are you doing to take care of you?

Hockeyerik

Thanks everybody. Tonight is my second al-anon meeting, I play hockey 2 nights a week and focusing on work. It's tough and I am still getting used to just being me again. I am starting to realize how much I like me and want to keep it that way. It is so easy to lose sight of that fact amidst all the chaos of alcoholism.

CodeJob

Hello Hockey Erik,

You can take Al Anon at your own pace. You do not have to make excuses for why you are not at a meeting 7 days a week...

Personally I got a lot more out of SR the first 6 months. You will find a balance that works for you. I would imagine hockey is a great stress/anger outlet? Social outing and exercise to boot. Hmm maybe I should try hockey!?

Actually I think Al Anon should field women's roller derby teams! Codie Killers!

Hockeyerik

Code job,
Thanks for the response. Yes would recommend hockey to anyone, it relieves much stress. Although your roller derby idea sounds pretty good too.
I have been getting a lot of help from SR as well, it is a great outlet. This is what the internet was created for and I am very grateful for it.

meggem

good job blocking her number!

NYCDoglvr

I'm sorry your going through this but going to Alanon is a very big help. It saved my sanity because I learned I'm powerless over people, places and things. Your wife will or won't stop drinking and there's nothing anyone can say or do to affect it. I suggest prayer, but beyond that you're wise to block her calls. Alcoholics always cling to enablers.....