Lola23

Frustrated at myself. I make it 20 or 30 days at a time and then I don't know what happens. I mean, I DO know...I allow myself to drink.

The thing that is weird that I'm trying to figure out is that the times that SHOULD be hard (Birthday dinner, cocktail hour that I couldn't get out of, other social events that have drinking around) I seem to do ok. But then this past Thursday, I was at the airport, and I don't know...its like something inside of me just decided "screw this sober thing." I wasn't even with people, so it wasn't even a social thing...

I dunno. Maybe I need more help than I think I do...

FreeOwl

I found that same pattern to be the case for a long time.

It was a LOT easier to 'moderate' around others.... social settings, parties, work dinners, etc than to do so on my own.

Those occasions were 'safe' - hell who would know?

I knew. And that led to self-loathing that crept in, and a viscious cycle of worsening.

It turned out for me that when I let alcohol into my life 'responsibly' - the part of my brain that craved the irresponsible use would say things like "well, hey.... you drank at ________ and it was fine" and that would rationalize into "let's just go buy a pint".... and I'd be waking up from a blackout eventually.

For me, I had to go through that cycle a lot of times before I finally got serious about not drinking and realizing that it was going to take a shift beyond just not drinking.

Try again, figure out what to change... take some action.... you can do it

PurpleKnight

Did you have a plan for the airport?

I found the times I used to always drink, I needed a strategy and change of pattern to get through them, without planning ahead, the result would simply be the same.

Go at it again Lola, you'll get there!!

IOAA2

Hi. Unfortunately some of us like myself were/are undisciplined and would rather drink than be sober. Only the individual can get themselves sober, there ain’t no magic pill, YA GUTTA WANNA. It’s work and frustrating but with an honest persistence it’s certainly attainable. Once achieved it’s an awesome feeling to get rid of the alcohol noose around our necks. KEEP COMING, you’re worth it!

BE WELL

doggonecarl

bingo!

ScottFromWI

Anytime you are willing to simply say "screw this sober thing" that's a pretty good indication that you need more help. It's also a pretty good indication that you haven't fully accepted that you cannot drink.

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