emmsie

I've just made one the hardest decisions today. I told my alcoholic partner that I could no longer be with him. He had around 5 days of sobriety but I know that it is very likely only a matter of time until he picks up his next drink. I felt that, during over 2 years together, I tried everything to be of support to him. He has relapsed a number of times in the last 5 months and although we didn't live together, I felt that I could no longer cope with not knowing if he was dead, alive or in danger, as he would disappear for days on end. As a recovering alcoholic myself, I was in the danger zone of picking up a drink several times in the last few months and I had to put my sobriety first. He is a decent man and my parting words to him were to look after himself and that I wished him health and happiness. I would love him to find joy in his life but knowing the alcoholic mind, realise that it probably needs to get to rock bottom with him before he makes the choice to stop or not. We separated on a few occasions and each time, I would brace myself for the call to the hospital or worse. Thankfully, they never came but I feel that I have had no choice but to get out of his life before something does happen. Because I love him so much, I couldn't cope with him spiralling into self-destruction. It took me 4 hospitalisations to put down the bottle and by the grace of God, I have 2 years, 4 months of sobriety behind me at the moment. I know that could change at any time if I don't watch my alcoholic head. I just feel so lost at the moment and hope I have made the right decision. Finding it so hard and wondered if anyone has had a similar experience? It was all done tonight so has been very quick so my head is spinning a little. Hope you are all well and thank you.

Emma

PurpleKnight

You have to look after YOU in all of this, waiting on someone to change when it may not happen is not the best forward!!

Be safe!!

emmsie

Thanks, purpleknight. I know you're right. I keep having to tell myself that.

Raider

Wise decision.

Kaneda8888

Emma, you've made the right decision. Firstly, you need to protect your own sobriety as PurpleKnight stated. You cannot be of any service to your partner or anyone else if you relapse. Secondly, perhaps this will serve as a wake up call to your partner.

MythOfSisyphus

As painful as it is I think you did the right thing, Emmsie.

emmsie

Thanks, guys. Really appreciate your support. Have a head full of mixed emotions today and very tired. Going to an Al-Anon meeting tonight and sure I'll meet some good people there too. x