Angry tonight
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Angry tonight
Today I'm feeling angry...
In fact, I'm really angry and anger is not an emotion I admit to often.
So, it has to do with the fact that on Friday, AH came to me and told me that some workers we have hired in the past were here to ask if we wanted some work done that we had mentioned, but weren't intending to do for a while.
I have tons of debt I'm trying to pay off, mainly due to AH-related stuff like his business debt and debt that was incurred because I co-signed on a mortgage for his mother just prior to the recession (I don’t blame his mother AT ALL because she was nothing but generous to me, but I can’t say the same for her son).
Anyway, he hired these guys, who are good guys, but I told AH specifically not to buy beer or dinner for them. Who buys beer or dinner for a professional working crew?? But AH seems to feel he should do that, and so he did that and it was unnecessary and expensive.
I’m also angry because he called me “B…” because I told him that I felt he disregarded my wishes, and I’m angry because I made the crew guys a dinner that we could afford (quinoa with beans and cherry tomatoes), but AH just played with it and didn’t eat it and later told me it sucked and only someone desperate would eat it and I said, “Well, guess what, we’re desperate because we have no money and I’m 62 years old.”
I just feel that no matter what plan I try to put in place to secure my future, it’s all going to naught. Duh. Maybe I should have listened to my therapist 10 years ago when she told me the same thing.
Oh, well. I"m just angry, and it doesn't feel all that great.
In fact, I'm really angry and anger is not an emotion I admit to often.
So, it has to do with the fact that on Friday, AH came to me and told me that some workers we have hired in the past were here to ask if we wanted some work done that we had mentioned, but weren't intending to do for a while.
I have tons of debt I'm trying to pay off, mainly due to AH-related stuff like his business debt and debt that was incurred because I co-signed on a mortgage for his mother just prior to the recession (I don’t blame his mother AT ALL because she was nothing but generous to me, but I can’t say the same for her son).
Anyway, he hired these guys, who are good guys, but I told AH specifically not to buy beer or dinner for them. Who buys beer or dinner for a professional working crew?? But AH seems to feel he should do that, and so he did that and it was unnecessary and expensive.
I’m also angry because he called me “B…” because I told him that I felt he disregarded my wishes, and I’m angry because I made the crew guys a dinner that we could afford (quinoa with beans and cherry tomatoes), but AH just played with it and didn’t eat it and later told me it sucked and only someone desperate would eat it and I said, “Well, guess what, we’re desperate because we have no money and I’m 62 years old.”
I just feel that no matter what plan I try to put in place to secure my future, it’s all going to naught. Duh. Maybe I should have listened to my therapist 10 years ago when she told me the same thing.
Oh, well. I"m just angry, and it doesn't feel all that great.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Originally Posted by Taking5 
Why did you make the meal? You have to own up to your part in this too.
I made the meal for me and wasn't planning on making it for them, but I did have enough so I made them each a small plate.
However, you're right in that I have to own up to my part in this, and I have to say that I'm mad at myself as well for not simply saying "no." No to AH regarding getting the work done and then no to all the other nonsense. I definitely have a problem sticking to plans and boundaries.
Have calmed down but today I am planning on doing something for myself like yoga or a hike and staying out of the way here. They're here to finish up the work, but I'm going to let AH deal with it, without giving him any money. I'm also going to do some journal writing to try to get to the bottom of some of these feelings.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 128
Just sending you some support. I should have stopped giving my AH money years ago and he's always pushing the envelope especially when it comes to looking good in front of other people. I don't say anything any longer - pointless in my case but I'm taking steps even though they are baby steps to take care of myself. Just sending you some positive energy because it's a very difficult position to be in.
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