Scram

Like so many of us, this is not my first attempt at quitting. I will say that I don't think I have ever felt this ready. There is not that same sense of loss that I had in my previous attempts - as if I was mourning the loss of a best friend (alcohol). With that said, I know this is an incredibly crafty disease, and I have so far to go. With all that said...

I find that I am flipping between two almost opposite mindsets:

1) I don't drink. I just don't drink anymore. Like so many before me. It's that simple. I can do virtually anything else in the world, but I don't drink. And that's ok.

2) Ohhhh.... My... Lord.... I have no idea how to do this. Like, I know my life simply no longer worked with alcohol, but it was a familiar dysfunction. This? I have no idea what this is. I feel fine now but what if I give in one second?


Is this normal? You guys, seriously, did anyone else have this intense back and forth? And does it calm down? I feel like when those second thoughts come into place, it feels almost impossible to handle it all. Like I'm trying to prepare for an entire future and I have no clue how to do it. Am I even making sense here?

PS - Still developing my support system. As of now, I have weekly one-on-one therapy with a psychologist who deals with addiction. Of course I have SR. I have a fairly planned out schedule, workout routine. I have loved ones who support me. I would like to spend some time at AA meetings, although I haven't found success in step work I have found support listening to others.

LBrain

Yes

PurpleKnight

My first few months was exactly that thought process, I would almost give myself a panic attack over how life was going to be without alcohol, but they are only thoughts, they don't have to be acted on and there are no inevitable outcomes with regards turning to alcohol.

In hindsight, things get better, thoughts level out as the body is still adjusting to not having alcohol, it's gonna take time but hang in there!!

Don't worry about the future, Rome wasn't built in a day, none of us can change our lives in a matter of weeks/months, to adjust from a life of facilitating alcohol to one that is based around a Sober lifestyle, there's a learning curve in there somewhere, so there is no need to have everything worked out and all the answers just yet, it's ok to have unanswered questions, breath!!

Remaining Sober is the priority early on, everything else will follow, you can do this!!

LadyBlue0527

Unequivocally, absolutely, with all certainty YES.

Same here, total resolve this time. Complete acceptance that I don't drink. Still 14 months later I don't crave but my head still is questioning what this is.

I know it's good so for now I'm just going with that.

Anna

Yes, it's really quite simple to 'not drink'. But to recover means to begin to deal with the issues that we have been ignoring and that's scary.

Nonsensical

Only for people with an addiction - which seems to be just about everyone at SR.

I would also point out that your first mindset is what you are thinking and your second mindset is what you are feeling. Next time you feel like drinking, stop and think about it. Keep it simple.

huntingtontx

I had to let go of I will never drink again and go to, I won't drink today. It was a loss giving up alcohol. It was how I coped. I had to learn new skills, but I did learn them and so can you. Everything you are feeling sounds normal to me. You work your way through and get to know the sober you. I think you will find a person you really like in there. Give it time. We are all here for you.

risingup

You have described exactly how I feel. At times (usually in the morning) I am so happy and grateful that I have decided to quit......but in the evenings I get completely depressed and wonder how I will ever make it. I also feel very alone......I am surrounded by people who drink.

happyandfree

Huntington, I did the same thing. I couldn't handle the thought of never drinking again, ever. So I went one day at a time and have accumulated five and a half months that way. What you are feeling is normal scram. It's hard to resolve the ambivalence about stopping drinking, but the longer you go the clearer it becomes.

Dee74

It was normal for me Scram - but the more time I spent here the more sure I was which way I wanted to go.

Good to have you here too - welcome

D