Summerfall

I feel like crap right now because I'm hung over. Had big plans to quit yesterday then drank anyways. I average about a bottle and half of red wine a night. Feel slightly hung over every morning. It's the guilt and self loathing that gets me the worst. Guess today is a new day but I'm always so afraid of withdrawal that I keep drinking. I've quit a handful if time before and it wasn't too bad except for anxiety and I always think "that wasn't so bad, wish I had done it sooner since It wasn't nearly close to how bad I thought it would be"....and now here I am again. Afraid it's going to be bad but sick of feeling like ****. Sure doesn't help with my weight gain either.

I'm going back to bed.

PurpleKnight

Hey Summerfall, go at it again, make today your Day 1!!

There's no point in worrying about withdrawals that may not happen, drinking in fear of the unknown isn't going to go anywhere, at some point you have to get off the merry-go-round of addiction, the cycle and pattern has to be broken at some stage!!

It's not going to be easy at the start, but in time you'll get to a better place, you have to keep pushing through to finally get there, you can do this!!

Raider

I'm sorry. It happens. Today would be a great day for day 1.

amp123

I felt a lot like that for a long time. I've made it to day 10 on the promise to myself each morning that "today I won't drink". It seems to be getting easier. You lose nothin by giving it a try and have so much to gain...

clearmyhead

Hang in there, Summerfall!
I remember that anxiety very well. Quitting is a scary thing, but so worth it. You can do it!!

JD4010

Ya, if I can do it, anyone can. Nobody in the universe enjoyed drinking as much as I did. But I've made it to day 6. Tell that "addictive voice" of yours to shut the F up. I'm not gonna drink today and that's that.

HeadLump

Take a deep breath and jump on board, Summerfall Nothing will change if you don't - your whole life could change if you do

RolyPoly

I was also an almost-2-bottles-of-wine-a-night drinker. My poison was Chardonnay. Nectar of the gods. Except for me. I quit with mild withdrawal symptoms - on day 13 today, mostly irritability and grumpiness. Well, more irritability and grumpiness than normal

Every day is a new day and a potential first day of the rest of your better life. Keep coming back to this board until you make it.

Thatdeliveryguy

This about you, what is it you want? Want sobriety get sobriety... Scared, I am scared daily I love alcohol, I get on just trying to survive the moment.

Withdrawals, yep been there done that, lots of times. I have an anxiety disorder and other mental issues, for me withdrawals meant shaking, fear ( lots of fear), thought I might die, ambulances and regret.

Well, confront that fear, have the emergency numbers at hand or get to a detox center. Its going to stop at some time right? Ride that fear, live that fear, its going to suck, such a darkness, but on the other side is a life that you want and need.

The darkness is going to come, its going to cripple you, maybe put you in the hospital, get on getting on, its going to suck so hard!! I know it will, I was there not so long ago, but tell the reaper to go to hell and ride out your personal hell. It is worth it! Pm if you like, just get on, beyond the fear and darkness is light and love and happiness ( may not today, maybe not tomorrow or whatever) but I know it exist...

Stay safe my friend, get plan, withdrawals are rough, get help from any program you see fit? Confront your fear, embrace that fear, work that fear, know that you my friend are going to get over this and live a new life. Damn right it sucks, get medical help if need be, but was there.... Hang on, today is the best day to just ride life, own it love it, and confront a new life. PM me if you need help? Damn right, go get it, its right there.... I wish you luck and go on do what you need you know you need to do!

TDG

soberjuly

I averaged about 1.5 bottles of wine a day also. I say day because I started whenever I felt like it which is awful! but my preference was white, although I would drink red if there wasn't white around.

Yeah, you can't lose weight or follow any diet drinking that much wine and I could never moderate.

Good luck and just focus on the how much better your life will be without alcohol.

Windancer

I totally understand continuing to drink because of the withdrawal or fear of withdrawal. I did it for months....drank in the morning, during the night, all day, because if I didn't, the withdrawal kicked in within hours. Im passed that now. You can get through it too!

Thatdeliveryguy

Winddancer its going to suck no matter what, so just get over the so called "binge" fear your addiction more than withdrawal... Need to go to the hospital go there, but don't be daft if you need help get it.

360shoes

Interestingly enough, the day I decided I'm done was mid drink of a glass of wine. Think I had 3 that day and for some reason...it wasn't planned, I was for whatever reason incredibly mindful that I hated how the alcohol, at that moment, made me feel sick. It wasn't even enough for a buzz. It just gave me this sinking feeling. It was then and there I got up from the airport bar, drove home, and said I'm done.

And I was. So my day one was really day 12 hours.

First 2 weeks I laid in bed, didn't sleep much and when I did I woke up in a pool of sweat. Fun. Not. Then the sweet cravings hit, the mood swings, and a host of other lovely symptoms. More fun. Not.

But every now and again I got a glimpse and a break from the hard. It showed me that this too shall pass. I clung to that like a lifeline. I got a craving one day about a month in where all I could do was grip my car stearing wheel and scream. I swore that no matter what got thrown at me, I would not drink. I almost ate that steering wheel. But it passed.

And from there on out I learned that yes it would hit and yes I could survive it. It's been mostly uphill since. And that all I ask from life. The ability to just have the opportunity to try. It owes me nothing. It's my job to see the good and be okay with the not so good. It's an equal opportunity life. I always get my fair share of both.

Don't give up. It's never too late. Get medical help if you are scared. That's okay. That's what it's there for. Do whatever you need to do to help with the scared because it's always going to be scary at first. At least it was for me. For whatever reason, I did it anyway.

Don't give up Summer!

Windancer

ThatDeliveryGuy, Im not being daft. I was just pointing out that while I still do have withdrawal (emotional and mental), its been a long while since ive had the shakes or beginnings of DT's or drank for fear of dying. Perhaps I should have clarified.

Windancer

Also, I am getting help, and being honest and real. And yes it is going to suck. And anyone with serious withdrawals need a physical detox. All I was saying is I understand the cycle of SERIOUS withdrawal causing people to continue to drink. I would suggest understanding the whole story before calling someone daft, please.

Thatdeliveryguy

Really, really, if I wasn't speak the truth you would respond right? Daft, or not, doesn't change your life unless you want it too, right? Do you $@#$ing love him or not, cut him lose keep him, what the #$# are you going to do?

Make all the excuses keep replying, but you have an opinion that in unmovable right? I am right, right? You don't want to be called daft, but what opinion have you accepted, get on, get over it, or live like you do!

Yes I love an consider you a friend but reality is reality, you don't like the word daft, well I don't like excuses, I am sober for sometime now less than a month and want that for everyone.

Thatdeliveryguy

Yep not your mother, not going to kiss it, I want you sober, today and now. I want positive things for you, but you are your own worst excuse. I was too, so there you have it.... Read what makes you feel well, but take it or leave it. Here it is, I am no liar nor do I deceive just an opinion.

Windancer

ThatDeliveryGuy :I love him, yet I am undecided. I am being open minded. Please PM me and tell me what excuses I am making, as this thread is not about me. I was trying to support the original poster. Fair enough?

Windancer

Have a good rest Summer, and try and be positive when you get up! Have a tea, or some water, and something healthy to eat