readerbaby71

I think I'm done. My BF did not come home until the middle of the night. I don't care if he was drinking or wtf he was doing. Calling and/or texting if he's going to be late is one of our relationship "rules" that has been broken, disregarded and stomped on countless times. I wasn't really anxious or angry last night. I did some crosswords, drank my tea and went to bed with the bedroom door locked. He's still sleeping on the couch. I'm going to wake him soon. It should be interesting to hear what excuse it is this time. Or I'll get the "I'm sorry, I know I f-ed up. I won't do it again." This has been going on for a year.

Whatever. This is not how an adult relationship works. I can't have my feelings and boundaries walked all over anymore.

FireSprite

(((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry RB, I know how you feel though & I agree... It's not very adult or respectful of your boundaries. RAH's go-to excuse for this used to be, 'well, you know I suck at communication.'... Such a quack & not at all acceptable.

Patticakes

YOU GOT IT!!! Over a year of this behavior is a pretty good indication it is not changing any time soon. At some point we all have to say, "Enough is ENOUGH!" I LOVE where you say, "I can't have my feelings and boundaries walked all over anymore."

YAY YAY YAY YAY for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

readerbaby71

Thanks. I just hope I can keep this resolve. I am giving him a month to move. If he goes out and drinks and stays away during that time that's his choice. He's an adult and I can't control what he does. If he has nowhere to go that's his problem. I just have to keep telling myself that. It's tough.

Fandy

think about how long you have put up with this crapola.....it is always about him....what he does by not communicating is just rude....you made dinner, he skipped the entire evening just as he pleased. He promised to help support you, he promised to call how many times?

You really deserve better treatment, hell, you wouldn't be so rude to anyone, let alone someone you live with. I hope you can see that chasing him around with the phone or going to save him from himself is not benefiting YOU at all. He disrespects you in your own house....how does he think his behavior is acceptable? a month? I would give him 2 weeks tops.

like that old clip from Madea..." I would rather be by myself in a corner with a puppy and a goldfish".

Timeiskey

Robbie- lol. At first I thought you were serious!

Reader- boundaries aren't something that concerns them. Boundaries and respect go right out the window as the alcohol goes down their throats. After my recent breakup, I went through my phone to delete his old messages...I can't tell you how many were apologies. My cousin said something to me the other night that really struck home, she said "Sorry, I was drunk" doesn't really cut it after awhile.

FireSprite

It is tough, but you're right to keep your resolve, especially considering that you have your OWN recovery to focus on. I know you have other stresses in your personal life right now pulling at you emotionally too so be careful you don't "lose" yourself in the mix. ((((more hugs))))

readerbaby71

He wasn't drinking. There is a couch at his studio and he laid down to rest around 8:00. I asked him why he didn't just come home if he was tired and he said, "that would have been a good idea." He was really manic yesterday. When he gets like that he'll work for 10, 12 hours and drop. It's extreme behavior, which usually leads to relapse. I know he is sorry but I am just numb. I told him I was done. Now just silence. I am not in the mood to talk about it. We've had this conversation countless times.

lizatola

I'm sorry. If a behavior is unacceptable to you, drinking or not, then it's unacceptable. The question is: what are you going to do about it for you? I ask myself this question like a million times a day, LOL! HUGS!

HealingWillCome

I'm sorry. Hang in there. For me, it was over when I knew it was over. Woke up one morning, not expecting that by the end of the day it would happen. It did. Cried my eyes out that night, and haven't cried since. He was heading for relapse, the signs were everywhere. I didn't have it in me to keep going. I had just finally reached that point of acceptance and had peace with it. Hugs, strength, and much peace to you, readerbaby.

mauihope

They will say whatever they can to make sure you stay around. It's their actions that matter. Stay strong and take care of yourself....peace

Patticakes

HealingWillCome... I can so relate to "It was over when I knew it was over." I thought if my AH ever relapsed that would be IT no second chances....DONE!! Boy was I wrong! It took me over a year to KNOW I was done. And it happened in literally a ten minute span. DONE.

CodeJob

RB, I'm sorry.

Fandy

so he "laid down at 8PM"...slept through to the middle of the night...then got up and came home to sleep on the couch until after 10AM?

bull-ony... what kind of adult male needs 14 hours of sleep per night? do you believe this fairy tale?

hopeful4

RB im sorry. You deserve so much more than this.

Tight Hugs dear friend!