Windancer

Actually its tomorrow, as I had 3 drinks early this morning.

Windancer

Wasn't productive today at all. Just had a shower and waxed my legs. Had some herbal tea, and valerian to help me sleep. I just hope my love can maybe find it within himself to help and support me through this.

least

I don't understand what you're saying.

Windancer

Least, sorry for the confusion. I posted a thread about picking a quit date sometime soon. I decided it is NOW, not a few days from now. Enough excuses are enough.

suki44883

Attaining sobriety can be a lonely thing. Sometimes we have the support of our loved ones, but sometimes we don't. It all comes down to how much we want it for ourselves.

You can do this, Windancer. We will support you as much as we can, but you have to make the ultimate decision. (((HUGS)))

Hevyn

You sound ready Windancer. You can have the life you want - you'll be free.

Windancer

Thank you Hevyn and Suki. Im very scared but I know it is for the best. (sobriety I mean).

Hevyn

I was scared too, but we get to the point where we know it's never going to be fun again. It's only bringing us misery - and even danger. Time for a new start.

Windancer

Indeed. The bruises from my drunken episodes are purple and numerous. I am really blessed I haven't killed anyone while driving drunk, or myself. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt anyone. I know I sound like a broken record, but my heart is broken...I feel I need my partner to help me! I am doing this for myself, and will do it whether im with him or not. I just miss his hugs and loving nature so much right now.

Nuudawn

So glad you have decided on the present to embark on sober passage. As it has been noted, sobriety can be lonely business but perhaps it should be in some ways. You require the time and space to learn about yourself and all your inner emotional workings. Spending time with yourself is a healthy thing...not too much..but definitely some. This is very much about you and no one else. It is lovely to have the support of loved ones, but ultimately you are what you have. Others also on this journey of sobriety are worth their weight in gold. It is the connection with ours sharing this very struggle that I find helps so very much.

Windancer

I have other battles too. Right now, I can only get by with benzos, but I have had huge issues with them in the past as well. Im hoping that they can get me through the toughest next three days or so, then stop. Also, its become apparent I must deal with my codependency.

Nuudawn

Is an inpatient program possible? I would deal with sobriety first..don't get muddled up in too much else. I have heard it said that at the heart of every alcoholic lies a codependent. A recovery program helps to deal with that as it is about surrender...realizing we are not in control of anything outside ourselves. I hate to say this but I am saddened by number of doctors prescribing benzo's...I just am. Why are we sedating our emotions into submission? They are messengers. Argh. I won't say anything more.

Windancer

I agree with you 100% Nuudawn. Yes an inpatient program is possible. I was looking into it today.

Dee74

Now is a the best date
Congrats windancer

D

Lostinhk

Now is certainly the best time as Dee said! Stay strong at let yourself get through the awful first few days. A few days in the scheme of your life? It's a tiny tiny fraction. That's what I told myself around day 3 of my recovery when I was at my worst and crying like a baby every hour and it helped, those terrible feelings will start to pass and it will gradually get easier.

We all know it's difficult, but we also know it can be done and you can do it too! We are here to help you Windancer, if you have to live on these forums for the next few days then so be it! We will give you all the support we can.

PurpleKnight

You can do this Windancer!!

Hevyn

Thinking of you Windancer.

rachelle77

Totally here for you! Please post as much as you like/need. So many great folks on this site and we all want to help each other succeed.