Update... Went home for a night.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 113
Update... Went home for a night.
AW begged and pleaded for me to come home last night. She promised she would go to a meeting tonight but because it's what "I want her to do." When I got there all she wanted to do was argue with me and bargain for "having a glass of wine with dinner" she then started making excuses why she doesn't want to attend a meeting. I have told her it is alcohol or me and it sounds like she is choosing alcohol. Then she got very sweet and said things to me about trying harder in our relationship, no more talk of leaving, and let's be happy.
Long story short I felt very manipulated by what she was doing and saying, it was gross and I realized I don't like this person very much. She was sober as far as I could tell but I had a weird feeling in my gut to say what she wanted to hear because I didnt know what she is capable of while I slept. I left for work this morning and don't plan to go back, she doesn't want change she just doesn't want an empty bed and will say anything to try to get me there.
Al-anon tonight for me and looking forward to it. Thanks for listening.
Long story short I felt very manipulated by what she was doing and saying, it was gross and I realized I don't like this person very much. She was sober as far as I could tell but I had a weird feeling in my gut to say what she wanted to hear because I didnt know what she is capable of while I slept. I left for work this morning and don't plan to go back, she doesn't want change she just doesn't want an empty bed and will say anything to try to get me there.
Al-anon tonight for me and looking forward to it. Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
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I felt very manipulated by what she was doing and saying, it was gross and I realized I don't like this person very much.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 113
Thank you all. At this point I am going to stay away to get myself right. I can't do this anymore and her recovery will be up to her. Only if there is some sincere recovery will I think about. Her daughter is 14 and she is going to tell her she will move to D.C. From AZ to live with her Dad. I was going to be apart of that but I have said what I need to to her and I have nothing left. Thanks for the support!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
When you put your foot down, keep it down.
It is hard living the life of lies and betrayal when it revolves around alcohol. You're not wrong or selfish for wanting more in life. Don't cheat yourself out of a peaceful life, be it with yourself or someone special. You only get one dress rehearsal in life.
It is hard living the life of lies and betrayal when it revolves around alcohol. You're not wrong or selfish for wanting more in life. Don't cheat yourself out of a peaceful life, be it with yourself or someone special. You only get one dress rehearsal in life.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Quackity quack quack quack.
More is always revealed. Nothing quite as refreshing as sleeping with one eye open or spending an evening discussing "one" glass of wine gee…..that was a fun night.
Kudos to you for deciding this is no way to live.
More is always revealed. Nothing quite as refreshing as sleeping with one eye open or spending an evening discussing "one" glass of wine gee…..that was a fun night.
Kudos to you for deciding this is no way to live.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 113
Thanks guys. She says she is going to a meeting tonight and will I consider coming home. As though the point of getting into recovery is just to get me home. I will be supportive and encourage her to keep going, if she goes. More will be revealed for sure. Went to my first al-anon mtg. last night and it was great and I feel confident in what I'm doing. Thanks all.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 66
Erik, my 1st meeting was last night. They tell you to try out 6 different meetings. There were people from all around in my meeting last night and they bounce around depending on availability of meetings.
I'm going to another meeting tonight. Different from last night.
I'm going to another meeting tonight. Different from last night.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by Hockeyerik 
When you started al-anon did you stick with one group or bounce around depending on the day? If you don't mind my asking.
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