5 months today / 150 days "in the bag"......
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
5 months today / 150 days "in the bag"......
My last drinking session(s) was February 17, 2014....... I remember it like it was yesterday. When today comes to a close I will have approximately 5 months, or 150 days, of clean/sober time under my belt 
Here is a brief summary of my experience so far on this journey into un-charted (......or is it just "forgotten"?) territory:
Sleep
Was terrible in the early weeks, the first 10 days or so...... nearly 2 weeks, almost broke me. The lack of sleep/severe insomnia was just THAT bad, we're talking 1-3 hours of (lousy) sleep a night........ i think there was one night mixed in there where i literally didn't sleep the entire night - laid there with eyes open all the way until the sun came up. It stabilized somewhat in the next 4-5 weeks, but was still rather hit and miss. Only just recently (last 2 months or so) has the sleep really begun to have some sort of consistency again.
Energy
Remains so and so. I think early on it was mostly the lack of sleep as the main culprit, but I think as time went on the relative boredom of sobriety contributed as well. As I have been sleeping better i am starting to feel some of the energy, some of the "zest", coming back - albeit slowly. The boredom remains, but it has gone waaaay down in recent weeks as i have picked up an old hobby and gotten a side-project off the ground. A bored/stagnant mind and "lack of energy" go hand-in-hand, i can't recommend enough to new ppl to get a hobby...... find something you enjoy, find something that makes you happy, find something that gives you a similar "happy" rush - good hobbies just work WONDERS for fending off the cravings/boredom.
Finances
I am better off financially than i was back in February, thankfully. I'm pretty sure not buying booze helped in that regard - both in being more focused/less-distracted as well as the actual monthly tab, which was usually $100-$200 depending on what i bought.
Cravings
Didn't notice too many cravings until about week 6 or 7, i'm guessing the "sleepy-tired" feeling over-shadowed/masked it and took priority. The thoughts have popped up here and there - mostly when i'm bored/not doing anything, but they have not really cropped up lately. Seems the "av" has been weakening the last 2 months or so, either that or he has temporarily retreated back to the shadows where he resides - I just haven't heard from him lately. I'm thinking me sleeping better and finding new things to occupy my mind with have helped a lot with keeping the "cravings" at bay. I did have an AV episode back in May, so i now know that it's real. For you new people, you'll know when it's happening...... it's not a pleasant experience.
Diet/Health
Diet is slowly improving, but i'm not holding my breath on any "extreme" changes anytime soon lol. It's not easy....... actually, it seems giving up drinking was fairly simple - giving up food i like seems MUCH more difficult in comparison - i've only ever made it 3-4 days of "healthy" eating before relapsing on junk/fast food. I'm carrying a little extra weight as a result, but i don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. The attitude I'm taking at the present time is "let's do one thing at a time", i want to be in the clear from this alcohol non-sense before i try other major lifestyle changes. I look at it like this: if i'm "forcing" myself to eat broccoli/greens/vegetables i predict my alcohol cravings will go thru the roof - and i feel that is just too risky this early in the game. That is perhaps one of the only benefits of "bad food" - it keeps your brain satisfied with "something".
Knowledge-base
I was completely caught off guard by the whole "withdrawal" thing, having always held the notions of "withdrawal? shaky hands? that's the type of stuff that REAL addicts/junkies such as crack-heads, meth-heads, etc go thru..... that type of stuff will never happen to me" and "alcoholic?? that's someone who drinks 24/7 and has been at it for 10+ years, i just got a handful of years and i don't drink 24/7, it's not me - plus i don't 'lose control' of myself or start fights like those other people..... i'm not an alky".
Needless to say, i felt PROFOUNDLY scammed, mis-led, and "conned" (..... i still do to be honest) when i started experiencing these very same symptoms and realized in those early sleep-deprived moments just what had transpired and what had happened to me. I really got the "crash course" on all of this stuff after-the-fact and then some, i also stumbled upon SR via a random Google search during the 2nd or 3rd week. I couldn't help but feel "betrayed" on a certain level........ my parents, society, our culture, my friends, and pretty much everyone else had always given off this impression that booze is "safe" and "it's no big deal", and that "safe" notion rubbed off on me over time. I thought to myself: "wait wait wait, why didn't anyone warn me about this part?? wtf?" The whole thing was the mental equivalent of the Pearl harbor attack......... i was completely un-aware that anything was wrong, completely un-aware that anything was coming until it happened. Then i took multiple "direct hits" and i was left reeling for weeks. With that said, i am much much much more informed now........... knowledge really is your shield with regards to these allegedly "safe" substances, it keeps you safe and allows you to make better choices in the future. I often think to myself "if only i could go back in time by several years with the knowledge i have now....... it never would have progressed or gotten out of control, everything would have been fine" But i suppose there's no point in crying over spilled milk, the past is the past and what's done is done...... i only have control/influence over what happens from the present onwards.
The Future
I guess, compared to some of the older quitters, i do have it "easy" in that i am doing this/getting it over with while i am still fairly young (i'm 26)....... and for that i am thankful at least. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to try to pull this off if i was a life-time/long-term drinker.......... my dad's mental health has started to go and every time i run into him these days it reminds me of the future that may await me should i not be careful and on-guard. In all, i have more years sober than not, so i predict that once the remaining mental fog/withdrawal crap clears out i shouldn't have too much of a problem transitioning BACK into sober life. I'll take my (un-educated) relatively-brief experience with alcohol as a lesson learned and go from there.
Other stuff
# of meetings: 0
# of sponsors: 0
# of "rehab" visits: 0
# of ER visits: 0
Just one more thing for any newbies or people who might be on the fence about this: DON'T do this alone, if I had to do it all over again I would have seen someone first and done the withdrawal PROPERLY.
You new people, please read the following words very carefully and take heed:
IF you have been drinking for a while and you suspect you may be an Alky or addict, a few more days of boozing' probably wont' kill you (that's the whole point, your body is used to the presence of the alcohol).............. but quitting suddenly/cold turkey - trying "detox at home" or "do it yourself detox" - without seeing some1 first or PROPER medical supervision JUST might!
If you want to get clean...... please be smart, be safe about it ok?
Here is a brief summary of my experience so far on this journey into un-charted (......or is it just "forgotten"?) territory:
Sleep
Was terrible in the early weeks, the first 10 days or so...... nearly 2 weeks, almost broke me. The lack of sleep/severe insomnia was just THAT bad, we're talking 1-3 hours of (lousy) sleep a night........ i think there was one night mixed in there where i literally didn't sleep the entire night - laid there with eyes open all the way until the sun came up. It stabilized somewhat in the next 4-5 weeks, but was still rather hit and miss. Only just recently (last 2 months or so) has the sleep really begun to have some sort of consistency again.
Energy
Remains so and so. I think early on it was mostly the lack of sleep as the main culprit, but I think as time went on the relative boredom of sobriety contributed as well. As I have been sleeping better i am starting to feel some of the energy, some of the "zest", coming back - albeit slowly. The boredom remains, but it has gone waaaay down in recent weeks as i have picked up an old hobby and gotten a side-project off the ground. A bored/stagnant mind and "lack of energy" go hand-in-hand, i can't recommend enough to new ppl to get a hobby...... find something you enjoy, find something that makes you happy, find something that gives you a similar "happy" rush - good hobbies just work WONDERS for fending off the cravings/boredom.
Finances
I am better off financially than i was back in February, thankfully. I'm pretty sure not buying booze helped in that regard - both in being more focused/less-distracted as well as the actual monthly tab, which was usually $100-$200 depending on what i bought.
Cravings
Didn't notice too many cravings until about week 6 or 7, i'm guessing the "sleepy-tired" feeling over-shadowed/masked it and took priority. The thoughts have popped up here and there - mostly when i'm bored/not doing anything, but they have not really cropped up lately. Seems the "av" has been weakening the last 2 months or so, either that or he has temporarily retreated back to the shadows where he resides - I just haven't heard from him lately. I'm thinking me sleeping better and finding new things to occupy my mind with have helped a lot with keeping the "cravings" at bay. I did have an AV episode back in May, so i now know that it's real. For you new people, you'll know when it's happening...... it's not a pleasant experience.
Diet/Health
Diet is slowly improving, but i'm not holding my breath on any "extreme" changes anytime soon lol. It's not easy....... actually, it seems giving up drinking was fairly simple - giving up food i like seems MUCH more difficult in comparison - i've only ever made it 3-4 days of "healthy" eating before relapsing on junk/fast food. I'm carrying a little extra weight as a result, but i don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. The attitude I'm taking at the present time is "let's do one thing at a time", i want to be in the clear from this alcohol non-sense before i try other major lifestyle changes. I look at it like this: if i'm "forcing" myself to eat broccoli/greens/vegetables i predict my alcohol cravings will go thru the roof - and i feel that is just too risky this early in the game. That is perhaps one of the only benefits of "bad food" - it keeps your brain satisfied with "something".
Knowledge-base
I was completely caught off guard by the whole "withdrawal" thing, having always held the notions of "withdrawal? shaky hands? that's the type of stuff that REAL addicts/junkies such as crack-heads, meth-heads, etc go thru..... that type of stuff will never happen to me" and "alcoholic?? that's someone who drinks 24/7 and has been at it for 10+ years, i just got a handful of years and i don't drink 24/7, it's not me - plus i don't 'lose control' of myself or start fights like those other people..... i'm not an alky".
Needless to say, i felt PROFOUNDLY scammed, mis-led, and "conned" (..... i still do to be honest) when i started experiencing these very same symptoms and realized in those early sleep-deprived moments just what had transpired and what had happened to me. I really got the "crash course" on all of this stuff after-the-fact and then some, i also stumbled upon SR via a random Google search during the 2nd or 3rd week. I couldn't help but feel "betrayed" on a certain level........ my parents, society, our culture, my friends, and pretty much everyone else had always given off this impression that booze is "safe" and "it's no big deal", and that "safe" notion rubbed off on me over time. I thought to myself: "wait wait wait, why didn't anyone warn me about this part?? wtf?" The whole thing was the mental equivalent of the Pearl harbor attack......... i was completely un-aware that anything was wrong, completely un-aware that anything was coming until it happened. Then i took multiple "direct hits" and i was left reeling for weeks. With that said, i am much much much more informed now........... knowledge really is your shield with regards to these allegedly "safe" substances, it keeps you safe and allows you to make better choices in the future. I often think to myself "if only i could go back in time by several years with the knowledge i have now....... it never would have progressed or gotten out of control, everything would have been fine" But i suppose there's no point in crying over spilled milk, the past is the past and what's done is done...... i only have control/influence over what happens from the present onwards.
The Future
I guess, compared to some of the older quitters, i do have it "easy" in that i am doing this/getting it over with while i am still fairly young (i'm 26)....... and for that i am thankful at least. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to try to pull this off if i was a life-time/long-term drinker.......... my dad's mental health has started to go and every time i run into him these days it reminds me of the future that may await me should i not be careful and on-guard. In all, i have more years sober than not, so i predict that once the remaining mental fog/withdrawal crap clears out i shouldn't have too much of a problem transitioning BACK into sober life. I'll take my (un-educated) relatively-brief experience with alcohol as a lesson learned and go from there.
Other stuff
# of meetings: 0
# of sponsors: 0
# of "rehab" visits: 0
# of ER visits: 0
Just one more thing for any newbies or people who might be on the fence about this: DON'T do this alone, if I had to do it all over again I would have seen someone first and done the withdrawal PROPERLY.
You new people, please read the following words very carefully and take heed:
IF you have been drinking for a while and you suspect you may be an Alky or addict, a few more days of boozing' probably wont' kill you (that's the whole point, your body is used to the presence of the alcohol).............. but quitting suddenly/cold turkey - trying "detox at home" or "do it yourself detox" - without seeing some1 first or PROPER medical supervision JUST might!
If you want to get clean...... please be smart, be safe about it ok?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,544
Hi. I'm 49--a former moderate/heavy drinker. I quit on March 17, 2014. A month behind you How you handled your sobriety is how I handle mine. It does not work for everyone, but it is for me The only thing that was slightly different was at first I slept more then I was awake. Then after a week or so I couldn't sleep.
I felt that in order for me to become sober, I had to do it my way. I got my reassurance and support from SR. Some advice I agreed with, some I didn't. I pick and choose. I'm still sober so the pieces in my puzzle of recovery are connecting!
What works for some, doesn't for others. I do not need someone to agree with me, I guess I just need someone to hear me out while I voice my opinion. -----like you are doing right now------lol
How you handled your sobriety is how I handle mine. It does not work for everyone, but it is for me The only thing that was slightly different was at first I slept more then I was awake. Then after a week or so I couldn't sleep. I felt that in order for me to become sober, I had to do it my way. I got my reassurance and support from SR. Some advice I agreed with, some I didn't. I pick and choose. I'm still sober so the pieces in my puzzle of recovery are connecting!
What works for some, doesn't for others. I do not need someone to agree with me, I guess I just need someone to hear me out while I voice my opinion. -----like you are doing right now------lol
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