AA terrifies me
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: In a tree, UK
Posts: 46
AA terrifies me
Hey, sorry if this is the wrong place. I am looking for some advice from people who go or have been to AA.
I've decided to check out my local AA group this Wednesday. I am very nervous about the first meeting like everyone else and the idea of AA itself scares me even more.
The whole twelve step thing looks daunting as hell to me, and I am not a spiritual or religious person. I find the notion of totally surrendering to anything and believing in a higher power (even a non-religious one) very hard to process. I do believe there are entities much higher/advanced than me in our reality but I simply dont believe something as profound and intricate would concern itself with the troubles of humans (I think Einstein or someone believed this too, but I cant remember what he called his belief system).
I am wondering if any AA members could offer any advice on whether I should attend or try something else. I am really bad at speaking to strangers/in public too, so I guess I would just sit there at the back somewhere. I really WANT to believe in the twelve steps but my brain simply doesnt allow me to.
I've decided to check out my local AA group this Wednesday. I am very nervous about the first meeting like everyone else and the idea of AA itself scares me even more.
The whole twelve step thing looks daunting as hell to me, and I am not a spiritual or religious person. I find the notion of totally surrendering to anything and believing in a higher power (even a non-religious one) very hard to process. I do believe there are entities much higher/advanced than me in our reality but I simply dont believe something as profound and intricate would concern itself with the troubles of humans (I think Einstein or someone believed this too, but I cant remember what he called his belief system).
I am wondering if any AA members could offer any advice on whether I should attend or try something else. I am really bad at speaking to strangers/in public too, so I guess I would just sit there at the back somewhere. I really WANT to believe in the twelve steps but my brain simply doesnt allow me to.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Regarding "the whole twelve step thing", don't let your fears rule. The steps are suggestions. They are not compulsory. None of them. Many find the fellowship and support at meetings quite helpful, particularly in the beginning.
If you decide to do them, they are meant to be approached and done one step at a time. Don't get ahead of yourself. Deal with those bridges when you get to them.
If you go, no need to speak at all, but I would recommend that you just say it's your first meeting.
Let us know how it goes.
If you decide to do them, they are meant to be approached and done one step at a time. Don't get ahead of yourself. Deal with those bridges when you get to them.
If you go, no need to speak at all, but I would recommend that you just say it's your first meeting.
Let us know how it goes.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Most of Einstein's thoughts on God are covered in personal letters to other scholars, often in response to their questions about his views on God and on other thinkers' conceptions of God. He did not embrace the practice or preaching of a personal God or, in the lexicon of AA, a "Higher Power" of our own choosing. He saw such a formulation as inconsistent with the the relative harmony of the Universe, an anthropomorphic creation as (in part) explaining everything that we do not currently know, and the fixer of human problems. Instead, he advocated for accepting problems, particularly human problems and both moral and intellectual limitations, as part of our lot, as part of being human. Accepting and acting on personal responsibility for our problems and our own intellectual and moral limitations is an implicit though significant element of his formulations. Appealing to a personal God for salvation was, for Einstein, engaging in fantasy, an act of bad faith, and a repudiation of personal responsibility. An existentialist philosopher in his own right.
Einstein, perhaps ironically, reveled in the wonder, order and harmony of the physical Universe, describing God as "The Old One" in his relatively rare published thoughts on this issue. Rather than a sentient being, the Old One was whatever it is that underlies what he saw as the beauty of the known Universe.
In terms of your OP, everyone in a meeting has had their first meeting in AA, often dreading the event. No one goes to a meeting because they find some unanticipated free time in their schedules, or because there are AA brochures that made going an attractive alternative to say, watching a move or going to the beach.
There is a widespread misperception and a formidable bias that tells us that everyone who attends AA must do everything that is outlined as AA's program of recovery in the AA Big Book, and that failing to embrace the AA Big Book Twelve Steps in all their literal glory will only end in failure. This is simply not so, no matter how many times people report that this was their experience, and there is no dearth of insistent claims that this is the case. Many of us look for reasons not to get help for our drinking problems, in large part because we cannot imagine living without the drink. This resistance has long been in place for all manner of help -- for relationship problems, anxiety, depression and every other DSM diagnosis -- and AA is an easy target.
Be different. Allow yourself the experience of AA and come to your own conclusions. The worst thing that can happen is that you might learn something that will save your life.
Einstein, perhaps ironically, reveled in the wonder, order and harmony of the physical Universe, describing God as "The Old One" in his relatively rare published thoughts on this issue. Rather than a sentient being, the Old One was whatever it is that underlies what he saw as the beauty of the known Universe.
In terms of your OP, everyone in a meeting has had their first meeting in AA, often dreading the event. No one goes to a meeting because they find some unanticipated free time in their schedules, or because there are AA brochures that made going an attractive alternative to say, watching a move or going to the beach.
There is a widespread misperception and a formidable bias that tells us that everyone who attends AA must do everything that is outlined as AA's program of recovery in the AA Big Book, and that failing to embrace the AA Big Book Twelve Steps in all their literal glory will only end in failure. This is simply not so, no matter how many times people report that this was their experience, and there is no dearth of insistent claims that this is the case. Many of us look for reasons not to get help for our drinking problems, in large part because we cannot imagine living without the drink. This resistance has long been in place for all manner of help -- for relationship problems, anxiety, depression and every other DSM diagnosis -- and AA is an easy target.
Be different. Allow yourself the experience of AA and come to your own conclusions. The worst thing that can happen is that you might learn something that will save your life.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I can relate to your concerns and fears about AA and the Steps. It's worth a try for you, I think. If you're at all curious about it, I'd give it a shot and see what you think. Remember, the Steps have been interpreted quite differently depending on what you are comfortable with as far as a a "worldview" goes. There are secular interpretations for people who don't consider themselves "spiritual." It's worth approaching with an open mind. I was initially averse to AA but ended up going anyway.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
just pop along and here some of the shares, if you can identify with them then if your like me you will feel like your amongst people just like you
i found my home in aa and its full of all sorts of people from all walks of life they dont bite and best of all you can walk right out the door if its not for you so there is no obligation for you to do anything
your going for a look at it is all its no big deal but of course it could be the best deal you ever make but you will never know unless you give it a try
i would only suggest trying out different types of meetings to get a taste for all formats as you might find the right one for you
good luck to you
i found my home in aa and its full of all sorts of people from all walks of life they dont bite and best of all you can walk right out the door if its not for you so there is no obligation for you to do anything
your going for a look at it is all its no big deal but of course it could be the best deal you ever make but you will never know unless you give it a try
i would only suggest trying out different types of meetings to get a taste for all formats as you might find the right one for you
good luck to you
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I had the AA freak out at about 6 months of meetings. I started to understand the implications of what AA was all about.
My sponsor told me that I didn't get sick in a day and I wasn't going to get better in one either.
Recovery is a lifetime journey not a destination. Be honest open and willing and the journey will take care of itself
My sponsor told me that I didn't get sick in a day and I wasn't going to get better in one either.
Recovery is a lifetime journey not a destination. Be honest open and willing and the journey will take care of itself
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