Tetra

I know every thread I write involves my family and I am sorry, but we do live in each other's pockets. Even my ex-therapist said it was toxic and unhealthy.

Anyway, I am roasting a chicken. My mom calls in the middle of cooking. Conversation goes...

"How did you get on with your therapist? What did he say? I hope he got angry with you?"

Me: "It's not really your business anyway dad told you what he said".

"Yes but he didn't tell me much and anyway I am so broken-hearted"...

Me: "Goodbye"...???


I am so fed up. I have no energy for anything and I just want to go to bed.

ScottFromWI

Absolutely brilliant on your part. Now make sure you don't call back and follow up either - let her stew in her own juices for a while. She'll certainly be mad but that's her problem, not yours.

airwick

I don't know much about your situation, but I can say one thing. I LOVE roasted chicken How did it turn out?
----on the lighter side of things---

Tetra

I am still furious at her absolute cheek. No, my therapist was not angry.

On the bright side, my potatoes got a good mashing.

Jupiters

From the bit I've read about your relationship with your parents, I'd say that was probably the best thing you could have done for yourself in awhile Tetra!
Like ScottWI says - let her sit in that. This isn't about her right now. You need to take care of Tetra.

Fandy

hmm? you could tell mama that your therapist thinks HER compulsion to crawl up your buttismo daily is "unhealthy"?

really, practice NOT engaging with her, just say "Hi, sorry i am in the middle or something right now, everything is fine, i'll call you when I have time"

PurpleKnight

Well done on sticking up for yourself!! very proud!!

biminiblue

I agree with Fandy.

Getting off the phone is definitely great. Doing it in a polite way is what will be best for you both.

Don't engage, continue to say, "Can't talk right now." When she says, "Why not?" just continue to say, "Can't talk right now, I'll call you when I can."

ElleDee

You did the right thing Tetra. Just tell her you're busy and you can't talk. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself. Stay away as much as you can from getting caught up in your parents' drama.

MythOfSisyphus

Well done! It sounds like your parents have some serious issues with lack of boundaries. They seem to want to keep treating you like a little child but you're an adult. I would say you handled it pretty well.

Croissant

Brilliant!

Yeah, tell her you have to count the times she calls you and report back to your therapist on it. Lol....only joking.

Good on you. And hey, if you can roast a chicken, I reckon you have all the life skills you need!

Gilmer

Tetra:

All I've got to say is: :

This is a wonderful milestone!

RevivingOphelia

LOVE how you handled that phone call.

Question: Was your dad IN the office during your therapy visit with you? If so, why?

Keep firming up those boundaries with them, Tetra. You are a grown woman. They don't need to know anything/everything.

Jupiters

I was wondering as well why your dad was IN the therapy session??
Was that YOUR choice?
I hope you're feeling ok today tetra!

ReadyAtLast

I also wondered if, and why, your dad was in with you. You are not a young girl who needs her parents to accompany her to the doctors, therapists etc.

You can't change your parents. If they have always treated you like a child and you have allowed them to then it's unlikely they will change. But you can change YOU. You decide what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for you. You can decide what you do and when you want to do it.Your parents can react how they like,that is not your concern

My father was very much " when you're living under my roof you do as I say" I couldn't argue with that, but I could and did choose to leave home as soon as I was old enough. Maybe it's time you flew the nest,for your own sake