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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 15
new to this forum
Hi all I am new to this forum
I have been struggling with alcohol for a number of years now.
I think it all started when I had my eldest daughter 15 years ago. My husband would go out to work all day and some evenings. Sometimes he wouldnt come home and go out drinking till 4 in the morning. I made friends with drinkers and I would sit with them drinking at home till I fell asleep. Eventually I split up with my husband and started to drink 8 pints of lager aday. Well I met my new partner and stopped drinking for a while. I had more kids with him and I got lower and lower. I was drinking every other day at this point then I managed to control my drinking abit more by cutting down to just the weekends. My problem is now that when I start drinking I cant stop! I will drink on the friday night and wake up on the saturday morning and start all over again. Will crash out wake up again and realise what a dumbass thing I have done again! Its coming between my partner and I. I also dont want my kids to see the state I get in. they need to learn by example and drink wise I am hardly an example!!! I want to stop drinking for good and never ever drink again!!! I am hoping that I can get some support on here as I have no one else to turn to. I havent had a drink since saturday which isnt a problem until I reach friday then I know I will just want to drink again!!! I dont want to be that person anymore
I have been struggling with alcohol for a number of years now.
I think it all started when I had my eldest daughter 15 years ago. My husband would go out to work all day and some evenings. Sometimes he wouldnt come home and go out drinking till 4 in the morning. I made friends with drinkers and I would sit with them drinking at home till I fell asleep. Eventually I split up with my husband and started to drink 8 pints of lager aday. Well I met my new partner and stopped drinking for a while. I had more kids with him and I got lower and lower. I was drinking every other day at this point then I managed to control my drinking abit more by cutting down to just the weekends. My problem is now that when I start drinking I cant stop! I will drink on the friday night and wake up on the saturday morning and start all over again. Will crash out wake up again and realise what a dumbass thing I have done again! Its coming between my partner and I. I also dont want my kids to see the state I get in. they need to learn by example and drink wise I am hardly an example!!! I want to stop drinking for good and never ever drink again!!! I am hoping that I can get some support on here as I have no one else to turn to. I havent had a drink since saturday which isnt a problem until I reach friday then I know I will just want to drink again!!! I dont want to be that person anymore
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Have you told your partner of your intention to quit? Maybe together you can think of a new plan for Friday nights. Even if he is not supportive, you need to do something--change locale, maybe--plan an activity with the kids--to get you out of your old familiar drinking ritual surroundings.
I found posting on SR often to be a good deterrent from drinking; people can talk you over the hump.
I found posting on SR often to be a good deterrent from drinking; people can talk you over the hump.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 15
hi glimer thanks for your reply. My partner isnt speaking to me at the moment because of the weekend just gone i know hes going to say i have heard all this before but this time i am more determined than ever to quit. i cant take it anymore. i know that i can talk to him when he gets over his anger at me
i know hes going to say i have heard all this before but this time i am more determined than ever to quit. i cant take it anymore. i know that i can talk to him when he gets over his anger at me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
You'll find loads of support here on SR, for me it was all about changing up my weekends, nothing will change if the same routine is followed, new activites, new things to do, simply sitting in with your thoughts may lead you back to the same outcome.
You can do this!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR, for me it was all about changing up my weekends, nothing will change if the same routine is followed, new activites, new things to do, simply sitting in with your thoughts may lead you back to the same outcome.
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 80
Boredom is a real problem for me too. Am I really condemned to watching movies every Friday and Saturday night? Why is it that everyone else can go out and enjoy a few drinks without any major consequences and I can't? But, that's just the way it is. I can't drink normally. Or at least I usually don't. One drink becomes a four day bender.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 15
thanks for your reply trez. I know what you mean. When I start I just cant stop!!! I would love to be able to have just a few beers but its not gonna happen. We just have to give it up! I am just dreading the weekends, i know i am gonna be a nightmare to live with for a while.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
The nightmare on wheels phase will pass. Warn your partner and kids that you might not "be yourself" for s few weeks and to forgive and be patient.
It will be tough envying others a good time drinking for awhile--but eventually, as you build up sober time, you will derive more and more satisfaction from your new routine and find that time spent with drunken people is kind of monotonous, predictable, and even boring after awhile.
The feeling of good will and camaraderie that booze seems to provide is actually an illusion that drunks try really hard to foster through drinking more and more.
It really comes from within yourself--much less flimsy than a drunken night. And with fewer repercussions!
It will be tough envying others a good time drinking for awhile--but eventually, as you build up sober time, you will derive more and more satisfaction from your new routine and find that time spent with drunken people is kind of monotonous, predictable, and even boring after awhile.
The feeling of good will and camaraderie that booze seems to provide is actually an illusion that drunks try really hard to foster through drinking more and more.
It really comes from within yourself--much less flimsy than a drunken night. And with fewer repercussions!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 15
thanks gilmer you really do speak words of wisdom if i focus on the repercussions i know that will help me to stay off the beer for good ! i would just like to be normal and feel normal and not so anxious and depressed!
if i focus on the repercussions i know that will help me to stay off the beer for good ! i would just like to be normal and feel normal and not so anxious and depressed!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
It does take time to be content with normal--but be patient. You really do get very satisfied. I had no idea how I was going to fill my days without drinking--but now, eight months later, my days are so full I hardly know what to do next!
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