RolyPoly

Really glad I've made it this far and AA has been crucial - but - I'm starting to get really judgmental and annoyed with some people at the meetings. I really hope it's just irritation in general but I wanted to smack the leader tonight when she shared that she didn't really like women and still doesn't attend women's meetings. Really??

Then another long timer read something from the Big Book and interpreted a story to mean something completely medically inaccurate. I just wanted to stand up and yell "you idiots"!!! The long timer is also a woman who sits there and can never bring herself to smile or act in a friendly manner.

Ugh. This too shall pass. Right??

God, grant me the serenity, but please hurry it up would you?!

Cheydinhal

Can you try a different AA meeting? Not sure of your beliefs, but "Celebrate Recovery" meetings are pretty awesome and are quite different from AA. The AA meetings in my area are pretty cult-like in a way. Really great people, they are just so dependent on AA. It's like they traded one addiction for another. Nothing wrong with that if it works for you, it just wasn't my thing. Just gotta do whatever it takes to keep you sober each day, I guess.

Coldfusion

If I had troubles with my local meetings, I would do whatever it takes to get to at lest one meeting a week that I could endure .

sillysuzanfree

I'm sorry to say I sometimes don't care for the way some folks present at some of the meetings either. However, I have found a few meetings that I like here in Orange County, So Cal...both women's and co-ed!

RolyPoly

Yeah, I guess I just have to ignore the people that rub me the wrong way. There is a guy who always brings his knitting with him - I know, right? - and maybe I should do something similar so I can just tune out when I need to...

afloatsober

Lol
You are gonna meet them all at AA.
Part of life and part of recovery for me is learning tolerance and empathy.
Even for those with whom i can't identify.
I can usually identify with their drinking and respect the fact that they are sober.
Took me a while to realise that AA does not turn out BB clones...
G

Nuudawn

Hey Roly. I understand. I actually just commenced my local AA meeting tour last week. I have been to 5 different ones (all incredibly different).

If I may, I had some very strong reservations about returning to AA, I weighed it for awhile actually. One of the reasons I did decide to go is that I have a bit of a ..er..um..patience problem. I am also trying very hard to strengthen my boundaries and my tendency to "react" ..rather than respond.

I figured AA would be the PERFECT place for me to work on these things lol!!!!

Some people I resonate with...some I definitely....DON'T.

I will continue my "meeting tour". It gets me out of the house...and fills time in the evening I'm not yet sure what to do with : )

PurpleKnight

There will always be people that can be frustrating in life, meetings are no different, focus on the priority of being Sober!!

Great job on 1 Week!!

MIRecovery

This is a bitter pill to swallow but I have found what I don't like in others is what I don't like in my self. My sponsor has said, "You are looking in the mirror and you don't like what you see."

While this is not always true it is true enough to make me think. I am not a poster child for a life well led so I look for the good in people not the bad

Tonymblue

Know what you mean. I would try a different meeting. We have all different kinds. One week is awesome. Keep it up.

anattaboy

Alcohol was my best friend, lover, counselor, god. Finding a suitable replacement in one place or person has proved to be impossible. Of course the folks at AA fall short (as do store clerks, restaurants, self help books, internet recovery forums . For me this is a case of "welcome-to-realityism" as I'm just not that good at "things as it is". I am feeling the same at only 34 days and tho I know it's mostly me, I still have to back off sometimes from whatever is seemingly annoying me long enough to settle a bit. I've had a rocky relationship with AA for 30 yrs. but the same can be said for anything that involves breathing. Sometimes just some hard, mindless work like housecleaning or mowing the grass gets me straight--working-meditation. Best wishes at not putting all eggs in one basket and please don't throw out the baby!

Nonsensical

Excessive irritabilty is common at 1 week sober. Take some deep breaths and don't let it get you down.

Congratulations on a week!

alphaomega

One of my most difficult life lessons thus far has been trying to find patience in healing. And learning that everyone brings with them a gift. Even if that gift is to teach us how to not behave, or interact. As it often appears, when someone is judgemental or purposely excluding, they are typically in such emotional pain themselves, that they aren't able to step outside of that pain.

Hurting people, hurt people.

I love Nuudawns Tour de AA ! What a great idea.

Congrats on a week ! And keep fighting the good fight. It's so worth it.

tomsteve

9 years in and I can still occasionally find myself adding to the serenity payer:
"and wisdom to know smackin em wont help."

when the fog lifted I was quite irritable with others shares. took time and workin on me to get more patience with others.
I can still get buggered up at meetings hearing some things. i can let it eat me up or use it as an example of what i don't want to be like( and sometimes i still let it eat me up).

best thing for me to do is remember they, like myself, are sick,too.
but even then i can think,"yeah,well, a smack with a stick is the cure!!"

but i don't have to let my thoughts control my actions.

"but I wanted to smack the leader tonight when she shared that she didn't really like women and still doesn't attend women's meetings. Really?? "

look at the positive: she was honest.

"The long timer is also a woman who sits there and can never bring herself to smile or act in a friendly manner."
i ya want what she has( which i hopenot) then do what she does. if ya don't want what she has, don't do what she does.

ive been taught its not good to judge others, but there is righteous judgement. if i didn't use that to some extent, God only knows who id be letting into my life.

IOAA2

Hi. Tolerance is part of LONG term recovery. In my early days trying to get sober I suffered a lot of distractions at meetings because of my acquired undisciplined emotions. It was promised that this too would pass with time if I let it.
I needed to realize that those from meetings came there on many different paths with many different personalities. I was reminded of “Live and Let Live.” I also learned that AA had far more benefits and experience than I could accumulate over years of practice even after removing my control issues.
I learned that when I used BUT in a sentence that it’s an indication that previous words mean nothing.

BE WELL

desypete

when i went to aa it was all about me, how i want it to be how i want people to do things i wanted them to do them or say things i wanted to hear

when i am in a room full of people who dont do or say what i want to hear i react as its all about me and what i want

the simple solution is to not react, and to sit there and smile even when you want to yell from the roof tops
thats were the real growth is but it takes a long time to learn how to do itand a lot of speaking out when i should shut my gob lol

today i can laugh at myself for being so demanding of others

went to a meeting today and a guy was demanding we get god into our lives otherwise we will drink again
i wanted to punch the hell out of him
but i smiled and i let it go like i have to do with all things that i dont agree with, its his own opinion but the sad things is he is only 6 months sober so is to busy now telling us all how we are going to stay sober

i have come to see over the years it becomes a bit of fad for some to get on a white horse and try and save the world lol
i did it myself many years ago as i wanted to drag people in from pubs and clubs and save them
one day the guy will wake up and grow from it
thats what we all will do in time but you are at the point your ment to be and your never going to get 10 or 20 years sober without first living 10 or 20 years sober

so today i can smile at most things and i try not to take things to heart as i know its my will that is making me feel that way as i want to control what people say or do and it has to be my way
but not today its not like that

well done on your first week my friend
what we learn in the rooms is how to live out in the big world : )

ElleDee

Rolypoly, I have had similar experiences. I don't have a high tolerance level for certain things at meetings. We have a retired psychologist at my home meeting who said last week that AA is the only way to sobriety. I was shocked, he probably told all his patients that as well since his specialty was addiction. Anyway, I've walked out of meetings because I got so perturbed with people. So you're not the only one. LOL

I was going to give up on AA. But I decided to stick with the meetings I like and if I find one I don't, I won't go back. Also I'm trying to take things more "lightly" and trying (really trying) to remember everyone at those meetings is different, different experiences, etc. Like Nuudawn said, it does get me out of the house during the time of night that I would otherwise want to drink and I've made some really nice friends at a couple of the meetings so I stick with those.

desypete

thats exactly how we all do it elle with find the meetings we are comfortable with and stick with people we like
my sponsor would tell me just think there are people in aa that will be avoiding meetngs that i go to !!! the cheeky bugger i thought how dare he suggest people would want to avoid me at meetings or not like me !!!!!
: )
but its true no one will like everyone so we have to learn how to get past it
today i can walk into any meeting with all the types in there that i dont get much from but i will help them if i can anyway as its simple i have grown from my past experience but first of all i had to do what you do and avoid people i dont like and meetings i dont like etc : )

MIRecovery

Be careful not to judge. My daughter has 3 to 6 months to live and there are days when smiles and friendliness are very hard for me. You do not know her story and if you did you may see her in a different light

Carlotta

Well if you had done that, that would definitely given her a reason not to like women
I have heard women speakers share the same thing... I tend to stay away from speaker meetings because people say the stupidest things and just because someone does not drink does not mean they have something I want.
I have noticed that well adjusted individuals get along well with both sexes and that neurotic individuals tend to actually dislike people of their own gender. I hope you listened closely to her share because you don't want what she has
On another note, irritability is normal in early sobriety so give yourself a break It's ok to be Grumpy.