Ceec

So I relapsed again this weekend. This is a weekly thing now happening more and more often. I'm a student living with my parents so it's hard to hide my drinking. I always get caught and I'm always too drunk to remember how it went down. I don't know what's wrong with me I know alcohol has ruined my life and I can't keep going on like this ruining my life and my parents more and more. But I can't get serious and quit for good. After I got fired from my job for drinking about 3 weeks ago I promised my mom I'd go to AA everyday but I only went once. Maybe I can't quit because I haven't hit rock bottom, maybe I don't really want to quit? Ugh I don't know anymore I'm so confused my parents are really mad at me they're done helping me, I don't know if I can help myself. How do I get serious about quitting and stick to it?

Tonymblue

I decided to quit because my alcoholism was like most progressive. Blackouts at my kids birthdays, passouts, fights, horrible withdrawals that made me think i would (honestly) die. Buying booze a 8 in the morning knowing what the clerk is thinking. I feel everyone has a point where they truly decide to quit. Soberrecovery community has helped me. Just reading and telling stories of common bonded people has made me feel normal. We all are. Just read and post, this could help you make the decision.

Carlotta

Doesn't sound like relapses, more like you taking weekly breaks in your drinking.
Don't look at not drinking as "going on the wagon" but instead as a lifestyle change.

ScottFromWI

It definitely takes committment Ceec, no matter how old you are or how much you drink. It also takes action...going to meetings, or working a program of another sort. Rock Bottom is a relative term, but frankly losing your job due to drunking, drinking to blackout in a regular basis and ruining your parents life is some pretty serious stuff.

LBrain

until you actually quit, you haven't relapsed. are you ready to quit?

alphaomega

For me, it was important to realize if it could honestly be considered a "relapse" or if I only just put a little time between my drunks.

Only you can answer that.

PurpleKnight

Hey Ceec, if the drinking is happening at the weekends, maybe it's time to change up your weekends, new activities, something to break the pattern!!

You can do this!!

IOAA2

Hi. There is an expression “ya gutta wanta.” Being honest with your self about your drinking and the motivation to stop drinking are essential. No one can get you sober or drunk, it’s self directed. For too long I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober.
At your age you have a great opportunity to avoid MANY pitfalls in an alcoholics life if you stop drinking on a permanent basis.

BE WELL

Mac1

Hi Ceec,
As others have said you need to want to quit - REALLY WANT IT. For a long time I struggled with cycles where I would convince myself that I was going to quit. Each time it would be different from the last. It wasn't, always ending up the same way, relapse after a few days or weeks. When I look back now they weren't actually relapses at all, just gaps between progressively worsening bouts of drinking. Deep down inside I just didn't want to stop. Unfortunately there is no easy solution.
But there is hope! This site is a wonderful testament to that. The answer varies from person to person but inevitably begins with the fundamental desire to stop drinking. This desire needs to out-weigh the desire to continue in addiction. Easy you might think? Not really!
For me it took a rehab programme where I was helped to see the extent that addiction was controlling virtually every aspect of my life. I was finally able to see the huge damage and hurt that I was causing to the people I love, most of all to my young children. That is a very painful place to go...but if you can get there, like many others you may reach a point where you just give in and stop fighting it – to accept that you just can’t drink again. That moment of surrender is both powerful and liberating. It seems key to long lasting recovery.
Rehab worked for me but many people enter recovery using alternative routes. Just try to get help from as many sources as you can e.g. continuing to visit this site, talking to medical professionals, attending AA meeting – do whatever works for you. I’m only a few months into recovery myself and have an incredible amount to learn but never could have gotten to this point without the help and encouragement of others.
I really wish you all the best. You really can do this!

trachemys

Ceec, you're a student? Google "Rational Recovery" and go study the website.