trez

I had been pretty good the last few weeks. Late Saturday I decided a glass of wine would be OK. This turned into a ridiculous binge. Started drinking wine at 9am on Sunday and continued through the day. Went to World Cup party at a friend's house. He drinks aggressively too and things got way out of hand. We went to a bar after the game and I don't remember any of it. Passed out at the bar and the wife had to drag my drunk @$$ home. Feel like death today and pretty embarassed. Ugh.

BigTeddy

Done this more times than I care to think about. Just pick yourself back up and start again. You can do it!

least

I hope this will be the time you start a lifetime of sobriety.

dwtbd

For the last couple years of my drinking that was pretty much how it ended up. I stayed home though, mostly because I knew that is how I liked to drink, get totally ********* and then morning would just 'happen', look around see if I was in fact in bed, not always the case. It's a hard way to live , my wife didn't care much for it either.

What are your plans for future alcohol use ?

PurpleKnight

What was the thought process of "a glass of wine would be ok"?

For me I needed to accept that a period of abstinence doesn't somehow cure or fix me, how could it? if I have that first drink the end result is always going to be the same, whether it's weeks, months or years since my last drink.

Go at things again, you'll get there!!

Wastinglife

One beer for me turns into a 2 or 3 day binge usually. I spend ridiculous amounts of money and go to bars or call people and just become a mess. I have passed out in alleyways and in bars during these binges. I don't many social invites anymore cuz of the obnoxious and belligerent behaviour that comes out when I am drunk.

Raider

Oh no. I sure don't miss that feeling.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Trez....sounds like perhaps you need to take a look at your plan?

Ezbens

I think I can control it every time I drink. I think even a glad of wine is fine, but when the wife leaves the room grab the bottle, take a couple swigs and fill it back up with water. I am going to try and be sober for the first time in my life,starting today. My wife can't take much more of it and neither can I....

SparkyMcSparky

Could not have said it better myself. Avoid the 1st drink, and things work out OK.

Nice to see you Ezbens - I'm all the way up to Day 6 myself.

Ezbens

The part I fear, is what do other people think when you don't have a drink. Admitting it to others I fear is going to be harder that admitting it to myself

SoberHoopsFan

I could have written this. That's why I cannot even have 1, because if I do, I'm drunk for 4 days and the consequences of my actions were often far-reaching. Several groups of "friends" moved on from me, rightfully so, I can't blame them, I was a handful. Not in sobriety though, I'm far more pleasant to be around.

HealthyK

I completely get this - I know my limit is 2 drinks and I can leave it at that, but it gets away from me so easily, my only option to make sure that I don't slip is to not drink at all. And there's nothing wrong with that. You can do it - just start again and make a plan.

Soberween

Blackouts are terrifying. Glad I never have to have one again. You can do the same. Make a plan for recovery.

andyroo72

Hey trez,

Me too :=] I've had more blackouts and lost days than I can (or can't) remember. I really struggle with this one, but I think it's really important not to beat yourself up about it. Sure, you stuffed up- but that doesn't make you a bad person or somehow inherently screwed up. Just reading this topic made me really aware of how tied up beating myself up is with my drinking. It's a dumb equation: drink too much and act stoopid ------> beat self up mercilessly ------> drink more to 'feel better' about self. Rinse and repeat.

Learning to treat myself gently is pretty darn hard, but I think it's worth it. Take care.

MrPhilDuck

Black outs are terrible, the thing I fear the most is how I got so used to it. It's like my body starts to work on auto-pilot.

Not again, I want to gain controll of my life and actions once for all.

dwtbd

ebzens
Once I fully admitted it to myself and owned it, the reactions of others simply wasnt that important. There are times when being 'self'centered is mandatory.
wish you well

Nuudawn

Sometimes it takes a lot of drinking before we realize that one drink is essentially playing Russian Roulette. For those of us with alcohol addiction, there is absolutely NO CERTAINTY about ANYTHING once alcohol hits the bloodstream.

Sure, maybe there are circumstances where you don't drink to slovenly mess or blackout? But what are those circumstances? If money was flush and there was someone there to drink with...could you stop? Would you really, truly want to?

I read a couple of your other threads. I get it ...you don't want to be an "alcoholic". How about just being someone who doesn't drink anymore because bad things happen. Your allergic to alcohol. It doesn't work right on you as it does some others.

You don't have to label yourself a freaking alcoholic to know you have to stop drinking. You feel me? You have to come to the decision that you and alcohol DON'T mix.

You don't want to tell your friends..or be an alcoholic.
How bout just being a guy who has decided he can't drink. Why is there more shame in quitting..than continuing to drink?

You have an alcohol problem. Isn't that enough?

Hevyn

Hi trez. Sorry for the pain you're feeling right now. Been there hundreds of times.

That same thing happened to me every time I tried to be a social drinker. I finally had to admit it's just not possible. I tried every trick I could think of so I could have just 'a couple' now and then. Nothing ever worked. The only way for me to stay safe is to never touch it.

You never have to feel embarrassed/like death again. You can get free of it & still enjoy your life to the fullest.

soberjuly

Yep, used to do the same thing. Filled up the bottle of wine so hubby doesn't realize I drank so much. (or gin bottle, or rum bottle and etc)