clueless82

It's my second time trying sobriety. Last time I did the whole rehab and AA thing. I was angry at the world and depressed for the entire 6 months that I was sober. This time it was my decision to give up alcohol and I am a lot happier. I have already been sober for 35 days without the rooms of AA. I am wanting to meet other sober people and AA is the obvious choice. But, could it drive me to drink like last time?

DragonInTheSky

AA drives you to drink?

IOAA2

Hi. It’s interesting that AA has worked for around 80 years and has helped millions get sober yet it drove you to drink? The only thing that made us drink is us. No one can get us drunk or sober by forcing our mouths open. I find that those that drink want to, more than they want to be sober.

There are two things that help us be sober, being honest with ourselves about our drinking and accepting that we can not drink in safety.
If we are in AA and relapse we are NOT working the program by reverting to our old undisciplined ways of handling our affairs.

BE WELL

trachemys

Are you feeling angry and depressed this time?

If you are, go see your doctor. You may have been self-medicating for depression. A very mild anti-depressant might help you level off while you shore up your resolve.

Mirage74

I agree, AA is not all it's cracked up to be, at least here. You could give it a try, but that doesn't mean anyone there is going to help you stay sober.

Blackhawkfan

Agree with above. The one and only thing driving us to drink is ourselves.

Nonsensical

Congratulations on 35 days sober - that's fantastic!

You could always give a meeting a try and if you feel like it is triggering you to drink you could leave and/or not go back. I've been to AA meetings where I felt more like drinking after the meeting than before. I've been to others that were hugely uplifting. There is a wide variety of meetings available in my area, so I was able to sample around to find a group I liked. If you have the same opportunity you could try that also.

Best of Luck.

MrBen

Personally I never did it, some people think it's great and they swear by it, others hate it. I'd give it a shot, if you don't like it, don't go back. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Anna

You will meet lots of people who are recovering without AA, right here on SR (including me). You should simply do what works for you.

Kaneda8888

Hey Clueless

I get that. When I tried to do the standard 90 meetings in 90 days, I felt that it made things worse as I ended up thinking constantly about drinking ! I had to taper down the frequency to a manageable levels which back then was about 3-4 meetings a week.

As Anna mentioned there are many other avenues of support other than AA. Give them a shot. My view is that one should try everything feasible and see what works

Oh and what Trachemys says is so true. Alcohol is a depressant ! I thought I had depression and was drinking to alleviate the suffering. Turns out that the alcohol was causing the depression. No alcohol has resulted in no depression (for me that is).

anattaboy

AA has never made me drink, nor has it ever made me sober. It is a physical place where people with the same intent gather for a common goal. They have literature written by drunks who got sober for drunks who wish to do the same (no clinical research data on alcoholism or its cessation to be found). They offer a "spiritual" solution for a very complex disorder. There is some good common sense iterated by some which can be useful to some. There is also much said that would be better left unsaid (the literature is no exception). I go to meetings sometimes. My primary approach to permanent cessation is RR and AVRT which I was introduced to in the Secular Forums on this site. Also, I visit this site daily and post when needed or to offer support. I meditate, eat right and exercise. A multi-faceted approach is the norm for most these days. One need not try to force them-self into a round hole if they are a squarepeg, or rhombuspeg, or fractalpeg or not a peg at all.......

mfanch

I could have written your post. I did rehab/AA FOUR times (reasons were the 3 L's...lawyers, lovers, or livers...those are what usually "send" us to AA). I needed to get sober at 18 but didn't WANT to until I was 38. I found that AA doesn't work. *I* work. I never went to any lengths for sobriety until this last time.

I am also able to quit drinking/drugging anytime....but I am miserable, depressed, and full of rage. This time, I used my anger to good use. I got a sponsor and told her how effed up AA was and that it wouldn't work. She challenged me and I accepted. I was going to show her that AA wouldn't work for me. I was going to do 110% of what the literature and sponsor told me and I would SHOW THEM!!

Well, it worked. I felt better. My depression and anger started to dissipate. I began to laugh. To have purpose.

Now, I am still an atheist who also uses other programs along with AA. But I have not thought about using in like 4+ years...and THAT is astounding to me.

The main point is that you need a PLAN. After you come up with your PLAN, follow it!!! Every day.

My original PLAN is on SR somewhere. I follow it to this day (for the most part as it has evolved/matured), more than 5 years later. I will follow it every day as sobriety is my priority. Action is key.

Glad you are here.

Nuudawn

In my last sobriety, last year, I did not utilize AA. I had in the one before and I recall my last meeting in that particular sobriety..vividly. I was actually at a meeting and thought to myself "I would rather drink than have to come to one more of these effin meetings". I got up and left. I did not go and drink immediately. I think it was a matter of weeks actually. But I do believe a seed had been planted by AA (that my AV USED). If you don't go to AA...you will drink. At that time, which was back in 07, I felt like even SR was heavily AA influenced. I thought I had only two choices (AA or drink)..yes the AV is a wily beast.

Now 4 months into my sobriety last time..I started to isolate...I started to feel burnout from recovery..or maybe just this place a bit. I started to feel lonely. Anyhow, I figured I could moderate. It started out okay..but eventually that slippery slope landed me right back where I had been before.

So now...recognizing that "isolation and loneliness" can be a trigger for me, I have decided to return to AA to "take what I need and leave the rest".

It is PART of my recovery plan. It is NOT my end all be all...nor is SR as it one was. For me, I have learned when I feel some sort of "recovery burnout", I need to maybe do something entirely different like take a class...do something fun..get out of my head differently.

At the last AA meeting back in 07, maybe I just needed to step back a bit...instead of throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Sorry, I am only sharing my own feelings here. I just think it's important to be aware when something is troubling you, when something feels wrong or imbalanced or needs re-assessment...or where something needs to be added...
In both my last sobriety's...things needed to be added...or take away a little while
Instead...I went back to my old way instead of adjusting things a little.

I need many facets to my recovery...I know that now. But my recovery is mine to manage. I may need help yes...but I feel it's better to be "open" with things..whatever you need at any given time for your recovery.

As mfanch says..you need a PLAN...if there were things you liked about AA...keep it in your plan. Plans need working and reassessing and adjusting...that's where I have failed in the past. The PLAN is mine...but I gotta work it.

ultradad

yes

PurpleKnight

Great job on 35 Days!!

biminiblue

"yes" go to AA?

or "yes" it could drive you to drink?



I think AA is a good place for anyone to go who wants to remain off alcohol. I agree with Nuu, that it is necessary for me to have a few different arrows in my quiver.

AA is a difficult thing for many reasons. It is near impossible for me to share my experience in a room full of people. It is difficult for me to sit through meetings that are sad and full of depression. It is difficult to swallow my ego when well-meaning people try to tell me how to do my life. Some are sicker than others.

But it has many benefits. I think going to many different meetings gave me a good idea of just how different the personality of each group could be. Some meetings are decidedly more healthy than others. It is a great place to meet sober people. Just like church, some of them are more obsessed than others and it was good for me to find a few people and stick with the winners. There are lots of social things to do in the program. It can be a great way to get back into life. In my area there is a meeting going on from 6AM to midnight any day of the week if I'm willing to drive 20 minutes. That was really helpful to me in the early days to regulate my thoughts. Sitting still for an hour a day and listening to others was therapeutic in and of itself.

LBrain

I think it's already been said. Some meetings are good, some meetings make me want to pull my eyeballs out. But over time, tolerance is the key. If it affects you that much, try to find another meeting. Or just go with an attitude to not let if affect you.
There is something to be gained.

Aellyce

I think it's a good idea to try out a variety of methods and evaluate what, or which combination, works best. I would also suggest that you evaluate the "outcome" based on what you do, positive changes in your actions and behavior, and not only/mainly based on your feelings. Feelings change like the weather and in the end of the day our life is what we do.

Good luck!

ru12

If you think AA helps, go. If it hinders, don't go.

neferkamichael

Clueless82, 35 days sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Always remember, when you are in an AA meeting you are still in a room full of drunks. The above statement isn't the fault of AA the organization, but I quit going to AA meeting because of personalities over principles and I was just one of the personalities. Rootin fr ya.