New here, girlfriend is an alcoholic...
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Mitchell SD
Posts: 1
New here, girlfriend is an alcoholic...
Hi,
I'm new here just registered now, went to my first meeting a little while ago. I need some advice. My girlfriend is an alcoholic who is taking the first steps toward sobriety, and I'm very proud of her.
The thing is, my family had a hard enough time accepting us as a couple when we got together after my divorce. They don't really approve since she is the first woman I've been with, but that's another story. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter, and she lives with my partner Nikki and I and sees her dad every other weekend. Its a pretty good life, and Nikki has never drank too much in front of my daughter, she's more of a weekend binge drinker.
Since my parents are already judgmental, I'm scared to death that my parents or ex will find out she's an alcoholic. I love her and truly think she can change and there is so much good in her. I'm afraid they will think I'm terrible for bringing this stuff into our lives, but Nikki really loves us and I think she deserves a shot.
On the other hand, I hate lying. I say the meetings are for something else and it feels very wrong to me, I'm torn on what to do. Please can anyone give me some advice?
I'm new here just registered now, went to my first meeting a little while ago. I need some advice. My girlfriend is an alcoholic who is taking the first steps toward sobriety, and I'm very proud of her.
The thing is, my family had a hard enough time accepting us as a couple when we got together after my divorce. They don't really approve since she is the first woman I've been with, but that's another story. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter, and she lives with my partner Nikki and I and sees her dad every other weekend. Its a pretty good life, and Nikki has never drank too much in front of my daughter, she's more of a weekend binge drinker.
Since my parents are already judgmental, I'm scared to death that my parents or ex will find out she's an alcoholic. I love her and truly think she can change and there is so much good in her. I'm afraid they will think I'm terrible for bringing this stuff into our lives, but Nikki really loves us and I think she deserves a shot.
On the other hand, I hate lying. I say the meetings are for something else and it feels very wrong to me, I'm torn on what to do. Please can anyone give me some advice?
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Welcome to the forum tawniemarie 
There is so much wonderful support to be had here. I would especially recommend the 'Friends and Family of Alcoholics' forum on this SR site:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
It sounds like this is a complex time in your lives. I wish I had some good advice to offer...the only thing is an opinion: Alcoholics are not inherently 'bad'. Omitting the exact nature of a meeting is protecting Nikki's right to privacy. Beyond that, your relationships are yours - between you and the other person. It would be nice if we were not judged and only supported by extended family as we feel the need and ask, but it sounds as if this is not the case. For comparison, my in-law's are so occupied with their own lives, they never even have time to inquire about anyone else's, let alone mine. Maybe this is a blessing. Hmmm.
Best wishes for you and your family.
There is so much wonderful support to be had here. I would especially recommend the 'Friends and Family of Alcoholics' forum on this SR site:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
It sounds like this is a complex time in your lives. I wish I had some good advice to offer...the only thing is an opinion: Alcoholics are not inherently 'bad'. Omitting the exact nature of a meeting is protecting Nikki's right to privacy. Beyond that, your relationships are yours - between you and the other person. It would be nice if we were not judged and only supported by extended family as we feel the need and ask, but it sounds as if this is not the case. For comparison, my in-law's are so occupied with their own lives, they never even have time to inquire about anyone else's, let alone mine. Maybe this is a blessing. Hmmm.
Best wishes for you and your family.
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