Daretodream

The better part of this last week has been like a super-challenging workout to me. You know the extra weight that you put on the bar will benefit you and make you strong. But it doesn't happen right away as you would like; you have to keep practicing and lifting even when your muscles are yelling at you in pain, begging for you to give up and put that bar down. It takes a lot of energy to ignore the voice that is saying you can't make it through all of those reps.

The part I hate in this new journey - now day 29 - of being sober is the mental and physical exhaustion. My mind is in "discipline mode" all of the time and doesn't stop. I am feeling the fatigue of that mode mentally and physically. It sure would be nice to know when that day will arrive that I will be strong, allowing myself to be in "maintenance mode".

biminiblue

Are you doing things that are pleasant? For me, I couldn't spend a lot of energy worrying. I had to do stuff. Walking in nature helped me a lot. So did watching nature and travel shows on Netflix. I took naps when I was tired. I treated myself like I was sick and recovering - because I was. Ice cream is great in recovery and helps with mood.

Another thing that helped is talking to other people on the phone. I went to AA meetings the first 90 days, so I have phone lists. If I actually call people just to ask, "How are you?" it helps a lot.

Even going out to a movie, or to the mall to window shop. Visiting a pet store. Volunteering - all these things get me out of my own head. That's a good thing. Sobriety is a gift, I don't want to make it a chore.

PurpleKnight

That time eventually comes, when thinking about and being on our guard about alcohol 24/7 starts to fade as new habits are cemented and not drinking becomes the pattern of life.

Hang in there!!!

Anna

Like you, I focused on my recovery in the early days, but I made sure that I did things I enjoyed and loved too. I knew part of the cause of my alcoholism was from putting myself last and ignoring my own needs, so I knew it was essential from Day 1 to find something I liked doing. For me, it was long walks after supper.

SonomaGal

Just as it takes time to create a problem, it takes time to untangle it. If you feel kinda worn out for a while, so be it, and try not to let that worry you. Just embrace this as a big change, and take care of yourself as best as you can. Rooting for you!!

Ruby2

What are you doing for yourself other than not drinking? This sounds like "white knuckling." Holding onto not drinking so hard you are wearing yourself out. You can stay sober without clenching so hard to it. A lot of good suggestions on here. I get out and walk, attend AA meetings and contact people I've met there, either by talking to them or texting them about just stuff. Doesn't have to be only when I'm struggling.

It can be hard if all you are doing is focusing on not drinking. I have done that and it is exhausting. When I let go and started reaching out, that helped. Twenty nine days is great. Keep going and keep,reaching out.

Daretodream

Bimini - yes, I have been doing pleasant things and actually did take a 3 mile walk outside yesterday. In fact today after my post, I decided to go to a yoga class, do a little shopping and then was invited to a friend's to watch the rest of the World Cup and dinner. So that was fun and helped to get me outside of my head. Nobody there was drinking today--another little bonus.

It's like Anna said with being on guard 24/7 making sure that I don't mess up. It's good to be reminded that it won't always be this way.

Kaneda8888

Hey Daretodream

Yes, it does take discipline in the first few months. I found that one had to be acutely aware of emotions and environment. During the early months, even when I felt confident, I would stumble into situations where I had to escape. An example is a leaving drinks event for my old boss. It happened about a month into my sobriety. I thought it was fine but once I entered the bar and had all those folks and drinks surrounding me, it felt like a noose around my neck ! I had to abruptly take my leave. Over time, my recovery plan became a habit and now it is almost second nature. It doesn't feel like a burden but just simply something I do every day. Be patient !