Their first AA meeting.
Sober Alcoholic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Their first AA meeting.
In another thread I encountered someone who said (about AA meetings) "There is not much there in terms of practical help for people who are still struggling."
I responded that my experience was quite different. So I decided to do a little "research" of my own (just to check my own judgment). I typed the words "First meeting" into SR's search engine. I wanted to see what the first 10 threads with that phrase would say (I predicted that 90% would be positive). I'll let you be the judge. These are excerpts from the first 10 threads that gave a report of a first meeting.
1 I am literally sick and tired of using (drugs and alcohol) and was truly inspired and motivated by today's experience. I plan on doing 90 meetings in 90 days.
2 wanted to go, but no follow up report of actual attendance
3 It felt good, got some #'s from ppl who will help me through any cravings. I think I will start going to as many meetings I can
4 I cried so much and so hard and nobody judged. It was like I had found a room full of me's.... about 7 people came up to me and hugged me and gave me a list with their names and numbers. Each and every one of them said "welcome home". I was in awe of the sheer comfort that I felt. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced.
5 I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it, and there were in fact a lot of people my age, in their 20's, there too.
6 wanted to go but no follow up report of actual attendance
7 it was cool but I think I'll try an open meeting for younger people next time, because I was the youngest person. About 4 people gave me their card, and asked to keep in touch. That was very nice.
8 It was a positive and interesting experience, and I think I will continue exploring, but need some processing time to be able to summarize thefirst impressions for you guys
9 I will say I did feel awkward and nervous pretty much for the whole meeting. But, not because of the people, but because of myself. But, overall, it was exactly what I hoped it would be. Hope. Strength. Understanding. Compassion. Comradery. Friendship.
10 I went to my first AA meeting today. Everyone was really accepting, but I had a few Icehouses before the meeting, but I felt awkward. I don't know know how to "tap" into the positive energy. Not because I am cynic, but the joy seems absolutely joyless ... forced, if you will. I am thinking of going tonight, but I don't know if it will help.
Because two of these (numbers 2 and 6) did not give a report of experience I looked for the next two in order to get a total of ten.
11 I was a sceptic, I thought it would be weird... It was great, really really great. Everyone was so nice to me, so welcoming
12 I finally made it to my first AA meeting, was pretty scary walking in but was thankful there was only a very small group. Felt awkward but welcomed.
I think support is extremely valuable in early sobriety and that a vast majority of these folks found that. It's "practical help" that AA provides right from the beginning.
I responded that my experience was quite different. So I decided to do a little "research" of my own (just to check my own judgment). I typed the words "First meeting" into SR's search engine. I wanted to see what the first 10 threads with that phrase would say (I predicted that 90% would be positive). I'll let you be the judge. These are excerpts from the first 10 threads that gave a report of a first meeting.
1 I am literally sick and tired of using (drugs and alcohol) and was truly inspired and motivated by today's experience. I plan on doing 90 meetings in 90 days.
2 wanted to go, but no follow up report of actual attendance
3 It felt good, got some #'s from ppl who will help me through any cravings. I think I will start going to as many meetings I can
4 I cried so much and so hard and nobody judged. It was like I had found a room full of me's.... about 7 people came up to me and hugged me and gave me a list with their names and numbers. Each and every one of them said "welcome home". I was in awe of the sheer comfort that I felt. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced.
5 I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed it, and there were in fact a lot of people my age, in their 20's, there too.
6 wanted to go but no follow up report of actual attendance
7 it was cool but I think I'll try an open meeting for younger people next time, because I was the youngest person. About 4 people gave me their card, and asked to keep in touch. That was very nice.
8 It was a positive and interesting experience, and I think I will continue exploring, but need some processing time to be able to summarize thefirst impressions for you guys
9 I will say I did feel awkward and nervous pretty much for the whole meeting. But, not because of the people, but because of myself. But, overall, it was exactly what I hoped it would be. Hope. Strength. Understanding. Compassion. Comradery. Friendship.
10 I went to my first AA meeting today. Everyone was really accepting, but I had a few Icehouses before the meeting, but I felt awkward. I don't know know how to "tap" into the positive energy. Not because I am cynic, but the joy seems absolutely joyless ... forced, if you will. I am thinking of going tonight, but I don't know if it will help.
Because two of these (numbers 2 and 6) did not give a report of experience I looked for the next two in order to get a total of ten.
11 I was a sceptic, I thought it would be weird... It was great, really really great. Everyone was so nice to me, so welcoming
12 I finally made it to my first AA meeting, was pretty scary walking in but was thankful there was only a very small group. Felt awkward but welcomed.
I think support is extremely valuable in early sobriety and that a vast majority of these folks found that. It's "practical help" that AA provides right from the beginning.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
From my experience it helped me immediately, giving me a sense of relief that I wasn't alone. Then, it guided me on what to do and how to stay sober. That was my experience, I can only speak to that.
I like your search though. Looks like I am not alone in that experience either.
I like your search though. Looks like I am not alone in that experience either.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I was one of the 10% apparently 
But... I did keep going for a while. I was willing. I've since come to realize that face to face meetings are probably not what I need to focus on in my recovery. I do maintain phone contact with some people, and that's what has helped me... just knowing they're there when I need them.
And who knows? I might go back again one day!
But... I did keep going for a while. I was willing. I've since come to realize that face to face meetings are probably not what I need to focus on in my recovery. I do maintain phone contact with some people, and that's what has helped me... just knowing they're there when I need them. And who knows? I might go back again one day!
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 193
Unfortunately, my experience was far from pleasant due to one woman. I had gone once back in August and not tried it again until December (I was managing on my own). This 'female' on finding this out anounced in a VERY loud and nasty voice ' SHE hasnt been since August'!! Needless to say, I didn't go back 
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Mairie 
Unfortunately, my experience was far from pleasant due to one woman. I had gone once back in August and not tried it again until December (I was managing on my own). This 'female' on finding this out anounced in a VERY loud and nasty voice ' SHE hasnt been since August'!! Needless to say, I didn't go back
Approx. 5 minutes later...the angry woman got up and left also. I actually think she went after him to scold him a little more.
Maire...your post reminded me of this one. Obviously, some folks are sicker than others.
I, for one, am getting something I need right now from attending. And that's what's important to me. And hey, a little drama keeps it interesting I guess. Although I wouldn't want to be that guy...or the person called out by that woman Maire. Wow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
The variables I guess with meetings are the type of meetings, the people at the meetings and the overall variation in meetings as a whole!!
Support is important but it's gonna vary in a structure that isn't consistent, human nature creates variation and that can't be controlled!!
Trying a few meetings out may be a way forward!!
Support is important but it's gonna vary in a structure that isn't consistent, human nature creates variation and that can't be controlled!!
Trying a few meetings out may be a way forward!!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Mairie
Sounds like 'mrs angry' is a universal thing huh? It was a women's meeting that I went to, thinking i'd be 'safe' with a load of sisters - eeeeeeeeeeek lol
It was a women's meeting that I went to, thinking i'd be 'safe' with a load of sisters - eeeeeeeeeeek lolGuest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
There's one all women's meeting here on Saturday mornings. I'd like to go and see what it's like one day. But there are a couple of obnoxious women who I've met at the meetings and I know they both go to that one. I've avoided it bc I don't want any drama.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Hello All,
Search around for different groups. I have found that AA groups are often quite different and the key is to find a group or several that fit your needs. There is always the overall sense of community, commitment and fellowship in any of them. I have had to work a bit, but I have 3 separate groups in my area that are very dedicated and very powerful. Look for closed meetings, and be open to the help and insight that is available. You can't do it alone. SR is a huge help for me, but I also attend AA meetings regularly and for me working the 12 steps .....really working them, is the key. You may want to look for a closed 12 step meeting in your area. They are always very productive because you get people who have walked the program for 30 years sober who help and assist with your perception and interpretation of each step. Like we say "It works, if you work it"!
I wish you the best.
Search around for different groups. I have found that AA groups are often quite different and the key is to find a group or several that fit your needs. There is always the overall sense of community, commitment and fellowship in any of them. I have had to work a bit, but I have 3 separate groups in my area that are very dedicated and very powerful. Look for closed meetings, and be open to the help and insight that is available. You can't do it alone. SR is a huge help for me, but I also attend AA meetings regularly and for me working the 12 steps .....really working them, is the key. You may want to look for a closed 12 step meeting in your area. They are always very productive because you get people who have walked the program for 30 years sober who help and assist with your perception and interpretation of each step. Like we say "It works, if you work it"!
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Oh guys... this is sort of funny about these women - suddenly I remembered the threads that discussed how AA tends to be male dominant... then some of the ladies that do go are so...?!
Here is some of my experiences, just for fun. I haven't been to many meetings, I think 8 in total, in different parts of the city. At the very first meeting I went to (a beginners meeting), I was flooded by attention and phone numbers. So a couple days later I was trying to recall from my memory, which number belonged to whom, associate faces. I decided to call one woman that I remembered quite well. We had a pleasant conversation, and she wanted to send me some reading material so I gave her an email address. She emails me the thing quickly, I look at it, and email back a series of questions and impressions. There was also some personal stuff in it mixed into my "analyses" (SR style, I'm too used to this) Next day I receive a new email from her that had like 10 other recipients apart from me with me original email quoted in full. I was like WTF?! Isn't *AA* to be meant literally?
A different meeting: a big one, so I decided to hang out afterward and talk with the people. I think I have bad instincts, which I will need to change it seems for AA, but there was a bunch of guys quite obviously with longer term sobriety, and I like people with experience... so I went to talk with them and it was interesting. Afterward, on my way out, there is this lady jumping in front of me greeting me very enthusiastically, so I decide to walk and chat with her a bit. Two seconds, and she starts ***ing about those men I spoke with previously, giving me warnings that I should not hang out with X and Y because they are potentially dangerous for me etc etc. Huh?!
Then there was a third meeting where a guy came to me after the meeting and started telling me the story of his whole life without taking a breath...
Everything else was pretty good so far, and actually I did not find these experiences disturbing, rather amusing. My feeling so far is that the experience really does depend on the type of meeting, at least from these few I have attended. I have not been to AA for a few weeks now, but if I go again, I think I will rather go to a Big Book meeting or another where the focus is the actual program, instead of these "social clubs" I tried initially. I just chose those because I had not started studying the literature much yet and I did go with the intention of meeting new people. I've learned something I guess Oh, and no email!
But honestly, altogether, I've had a positive experience. AA is a bunch of humans like everywhere, after all. Have just been lazy to go again for a while, but will!
Here is some of my experiences, just for fun. I haven't been to many meetings, I think 8 in total, in different parts of the city. At the very first meeting I went to (a beginners meeting), I was flooded by attention and phone numbers. So a couple days later I was trying to recall from my memory, which number belonged to whom, associate faces. I decided to call one woman that I remembered quite well. We had a pleasant conversation, and she wanted to send me some reading material so I gave her an email address. She emails me the thing quickly, I look at it, and email back a series of questions and impressions. There was also some personal stuff in it mixed into my "analyses" (SR style, I'm too used to this
) Next day I receive a new email from her that had like 10 other recipients apart from me with me original email quoted in full. I was like WTF?! Isn't *AA* to be meant literally? A different meeting: a big one, so I decided to hang out afterward and talk with the people. I think I have bad instincts, which I will need to change it seems for AA, but there was a bunch of guys quite obviously with longer term sobriety, and I like people with experience... so I went to talk with them and it was interesting. Afterward, on my way out, there is this lady jumping in front of me greeting me very enthusiastically, so I decide to walk and chat with her a bit. Two seconds, and she starts ***ing about those men I spoke with previously, giving me warnings that I should not hang out with X and Y because they are potentially dangerous for me etc etc. Huh?!
Then there was a third meeting where a guy came to me after the meeting and started telling me the story of his whole life without taking a breath...
Everything else was pretty good so far, and actually I did not find these experiences disturbing, rather amusing. My feeling so far is that the experience really does depend on the type of meeting, at least from these few I have attended. I have not been to AA for a few weeks now, but if I go again, I think I will rather go to a Big Book meeting or another where the focus is the actual program, instead of these "social clubs" I tried initially. I just chose those because I had not started studying the literature much yet and I did go with the intention of meeting new people. I've learned something I guess
Oh, and no email! But honestly, altogether, I've had a positive experience. AA is a bunch of humans like everywhere, after all. Have just been lazy to go again for a while, but will!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Mairie
This 'female' on finding this out anounced in a VERY loud and nasty voice ' SHE hasnt been since August'!! Needless to say, I didn't go back
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I had a very nice experience at my first AA meeting ever. Went straight to the table with the cakes and cookies and people were nice and friendly too.
When I came back, I walked in what is now my home group early, introduced myself and helped make coffee and setting up the chairs. It was like an automatic fit and I was accepted immediately.
Our treasurer who is an elderly lady with double digit sobriety asked me if I still had a big book and when I said no, she gave me one and not only would absolutely not accept any money from me but also wrote a very kindly message on the front page telling me to keep coming back which I did
I was coming back from a 6 years relapse after 5 years sober and it was very humbling. I am blessed that I was welcomed with open arms but without a fuss.
When I came back, I walked in what is now my home group early, introduced myself and helped make coffee and setting up the chairs. It was like an automatic fit and I was accepted immediately.
Our treasurer who is an elderly lady with double digit sobriety asked me if I still had a big book and when I said no, she gave me one and not only would absolutely not accept any money from me but also wrote a very kindly message on the front page telling me to keep coming back which I did
I was coming back from a 6 years relapse after 5 years sober and it was very humbling. I am blessed that I was welcomed with open arms but without a fuss.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 193
Originally Posted by Purpleknight
The variables I guess with meetings are the type of meetings, the people at the meetings and the overall variation in meetings as a whole!!
Support is important but it's gonna vary in a structure that isn't consistent, human nature creates variation and that can't be controlled!!
Trying a few meetings out may be a way forward!!
Support is important but it's gonna vary in a structure that isn't consistent, human nature creates variation and that can't be controlled!!
Trying a few meetings out may be a way forward!!
I might try another, if I start struggling again, but at the moment I'm finding reading around this place is more than enough
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
I credit God and AA with my sobriety today! When I was younger and NOT ready I found all kinds of problems with the meetings and people, today I look for similarities and not the differences. I've been to some amazing meetings and some 'crazy' meetings, been to one where a lady came in drunk and well...was not pretty. Either way, I keep going back and applying the principles and my life keeps getting better and better!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 18
My first meeting was excellent. I was out of town and called the aa number and asked if I could go to a meeting. The person on the phone gave me the address of a place close by and I went. Most of the people there had long term sobriety and I was overwhelmed by how many people reached out to me. They also set the meeting agenda for me which meant a lot to me.
I've also been to a few crazy meetings and have listened to all kinds of characters along the way. There are some angry people and also some people with very strong opinions on what AA is. Some people I just have to tune out because I'm on a different page but I get a lot out of the vast majority of people there.
I've also been to a few crazy meetings and have listened to all kinds of characters along the way. There are some angry people and also some people with very strong opinions on what AA is. Some people I just have to tune out because I'm on a different page but I get a lot out of the vast majority of people there.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I really love my meetings but it took a while for me to come to want them. Oh, I went to meetings and enjoyed thebm for a while but I was going because it was what I was supposed to do. Gradually, I got settled into my area and I had a couple of meetings that I enjoyed and I went to them but if I missed a meeting, it didn't bother me.
I'm in a new area now and I have a true homegroup now. I have a group that will notice if I'm gone without an explanation. I have a women's group that I'm a regular at. I'm so attracted to these meetings that I'll go even if I'm 59 minutes late! I still go because I'm supposed to go and I need to go but now, I NEED to go. I feel like I have a string in my belly and when my meetings come up, I get pulled and pulled and nothing relieves that pull but going to my meetings and seeing my people. If I miss a meeting, I'll call a homegroup friend and see if she'll go to another meeting that week with me.
I'm going out of town this week and I must admit that I'm really going to miss my women's meeting. The great thing is that I have the opportunity to go to a new meeting in my hometown. A trip which once would only inspire anxiety and fear now inspires courage and adventure and hope. So many things have changed in my life because of my change in perspective.
I'm in a new area now and I have a true homegroup now. I have a group that will notice if I'm gone without an explanation. I have a women's group that I'm a regular at. I'm so attracted to these meetings that I'll go even if I'm 59 minutes late! I still go because I'm supposed to go and I need to go but now, I NEED to go. I feel like I have a string in my belly and when my meetings come up, I get pulled and pulled and nothing relieves that pull but going to my meetings and seeing my people. If I miss a meeting, I'll call a homegroup friend and see if she'll go to another meeting that week with me.
I'm going out of town this week and I must admit that I'm really going to miss my women's meeting. The great thing is that I have the opportunity to go to a new meeting in my hometown. A trip which once would only inspire anxiety and fear now inspires courage and adventure and hope. So many things have changed in my life because of my change in perspective.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
