kkallday21

I'm down the shore, my favorite place to be and I woke up to a text from my ex telling me his "final" list of things he would like to get tomorrow night when I get home... Just hearing from him has me feeling down and I'm not even sure how to respond.. I don't want to deal with him alone or even want to see him because I know it won't be good for me... Nobody even knows yet in my family so I feel embarrassed to ask one of my brothers, because my whole family was upset about this relationship in the first place and I feel ashamed.. I called his mom the other night when he wouldn't leave and she helped get him out.. Think I should tell him I'd rather deal with her? Or just contact her and be done with him... I feel he's dragging this out and I'm already drained and exhausted to deal with anymore...

meggem

DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED. TELL your family. We can have the same story - It all went down at the beach!

You can do this, please I NEED YOU to do this. We are somewhat on the same line here and we have to stick together. Deal with whoever - but don't do it alone. Let him get his sh*t and tell him to get the F OUT.

I promise you can do this. I KNOW YOU CAN.

Be strong - and when you can't be strong - come here...

If the fam has been so upset about the relationship they will be THRILLED that you are finally getting away from him and you finally drew a line in the sand.

YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN HIM.

Hawkeye13

If you can't leave the things on the porch for him to collect and not deal with him,
call your family or his mother.

You do not have to engage him at all if you don't care to.

Your terms, not his.

RollTide

I also hesitated to tell family and friends and was pleasantly surprised at the support that I got. Your brothers will be honored to be able to help you. Please let them.

iamthird

It is weird how a small text can always seem to throw us off huh? That would happen to me. I think that is why no contact is pretty important. Because you have logistics to handle, I would just facilitate through someone else until your heart and mind are stronger. Nothing wrong with protecting your heart right now.

Santa

#1 - you are not obligated to respond. My ex used to harass me by text; - usually in the wee hours. Hearing that ding at 2 or 3 am would send my stomach into an instant knot. I finally figured out that ignoring his texts was totally within my rights. Finally I had to change my text sound because it got where the ding sound from anybody at all would cause me to feel panic at the thought of looking at my phone.

#2 - you are 100% right that dealing with him alone will not be good. Your brothers will be happy to help you and to know that you are getting out of a bad situation. Allow them to help you and one of them can deal with your ex - I doubt he'll try quacking to them about poor him!

kkallday21

I am proud to say I didn't respond and did have a wonderful day also... I am going to gather his stuff and leave it outside so I don't have to deal with seeing him. My cousin came to me on the beach yesterday and said she went to a spiritual reader the other day and he wrote two names on a card- one of them being my ex's name... He told her people should be concerned about him and anyone involved with him... It kind of freaked me out a little considering he was in prison for 10yrs and did say some crazy stuff to me the other night. The crazier thing was she has no idea what's goin on between us.. The things I get myself into.. I just have to stay focused on moving forward and not dwell on my past... Thanks everyone for your support xo