telling others
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: atlanta
Posts: 64
telling others
My husband of 30 years is going to a 3/4 sober living home for six months. What is the best way for us (him mostly but I will be with him) to tell my 90 old mother? also what about telling our close friends? Is their some tried and true comments that would preserve his dignity while telling the absolute truth? We have of course been encourage to tell the truth as it will be less baggage for him to deal with and me as well. I welcome any suggestions. Just so you know I have been very involved in Alanon for 3 years.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Philly burbs, NJ
Posts: 99
At one point in my life, I kept my RAH's behavior hidden from everyone., until he needed a liver transplant and it all came out. At this point, honestly, I wish his drinking was the worst secret I've had to keep over the years.
Your mom will probably handle your news ok; my mom did, at 80. She may already have some inklings.
Your mom will probably handle your news ok; my mom did, at 80. She may already have some inklings.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Just tell them. Dignity is truth. Lies aren't dignified at all.
You might be surprised to find out your 90 year old mom has wisdom to share with you about this situation and support. I learn from my 80 year old parents all the time, and when faced with some life struggles have turned to them only to find out they have been there done that and can give me guidance.
Certainly can't promise that will be the way it is but I hope so.
You might be surprised to find out your 90 year old mom has wisdom to share with you about this situation and support. I learn from my 80 year old parents all the time, and when faced with some life struggles have turned to them only to find out they have been there done that and can give me guidance.
Certainly can't promise that will be the way it is but I hope so.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
I was in this situation in October. I WISH I would have said "he's a horrible alcoholic, I have been going through h#ll since day 1. I never told any of you because he kept promising to change, and I kept thinking he would change. I'm not sure if we will stay together when he comes home, but this is what he decided he needed to do."
Instead, I told half truths and sugar coated it.
It all blew up in my face in a bad way.
I had to back pedal and fill in A LOT of gaps.
Instead, I told half truths and sugar coated it.
It all blew up in my face in a bad way.
I had to back pedal and fill in A LOT of gaps.
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