kkallday21

This is my second time around with this guy and of course things ended exactly the same way... Although I know this is best, I'm starting to feel all my emotions and realizing its now officially over... I'm doing my best to keep the focus on myself and giving him to my higher power.. I'm worried he's going to do something- To me, himself, etc... it ended really badly and now that all the chaos is over.. Its dead silence and my mind is everywhere... I'm praying and will do all I can to get through this... I'm grateful my son is down the shore with my parents but I'm wondering how he's gonna handle all this.. He grew close to my ex but I know long term this isn't living for anyone.. it would be more of a constant worry and heartache... I have to protect myself and especially my son.. One day at a time, I guess..

Ann

Embrace the peace and be an example to your son of how we can move on even when life (and people) disappoint us.

I'm sorry it ended badly. Sometimes we just need that one last confirmation that it's not going to change any time soon.

Wishing you and your son wonderful new beginnings in a world of peace and beauty.

Hugs

zoso77

Yeah, that's a pretty tough pill to swallow even if addiction wasn't in the picture.

You're going to have to sit with a lot of uncomfortable feelings in the days and weeks to come. The good news is if you keep pushing forward, those feelings will become less intense.

Take care of you.

kkallday21

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support.. So far, today I am ok… I feel drained, but other than that, I honestly don’t feel anything else but numb.. It’s kinda weird… I went through hell and back again with my son’s father for a decade…It was complete insanity… Thankfully through the grace of God, I found Alanon.. I didn’t have the program in my first addictive relationship, but am so grateful to have it now.. I know that is was the program and God that gave me the courage to realize, this has to end now or I will waste another decade broken and lost.. I think I am ready to rebuild myself and move forward.. With all the emotions I had last night one that I was grateful for was relief… I’m glad this is over, because it was about to get crazy and I’m thankful I found it within me to break away.. I’ve just been praying for God to take me through whatever comes my way and to shield my son from any hurt that may be ahead… I’ve been down this road before and although it was one of the hardest things I ever encountered – I survived and I will survive again.. xoxox