Day 60 - what a whirlwind
Day 60 - what a whirlwind
Well, it arrived. Day 60. I woke up in a funk. Feeling terribly restless.
The last 2 months have been a whirlwind to say the least, it's incredible how much can happen and change in such a short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things)
In 60 days since my 2nd DUI I have managed to:
*check into detox for a week
*come clean with my employer and throw my cards on the table
*come back to work
*start to repair my relationship with my BF
*repair my relationship with my parents
*go to court, step up and take responsibility for my dumba$$ actions and have started my jail time (4 more weekends to go!!)
*start personal counselling to drag these darned skeletons out of the closet
*I start seeing my probation officer end of the month
*financially tapped from lawyers fee and cost of repairing the BF's car I damaged
*WHEW*
I am exhausted.
BUT am grateful that despite all this, I have not drank. Sure, the fleeting thought arises, but right after that thought, I recall the damage I have done and my last detox. That kicks that thought out very quickly.
I'm feeling really ...hrm....I don't know the word...Lost.
Right now, jail is enough to keep my arse sober. The fact I am on a short leash with work and personal relationships is helping.
But I know I need a plan and I am so mentally, physically, emotionally tired I am just struggling with making a proper plan. I'm hoping that once this legal crap is done (come on August 8th!!!) I can finally relax a bit and really sit down and start focussing on THE PLAN.
anyways - sorry for rambling....this place has been a HUGE HUGE help in getting me though the last 60 days. I find everyday, I read something from someone that just whacks me upside the face.
The last 2 months have been a whirlwind to say the least, it's incredible how much can happen and change in such a short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things)
In 60 days since my 2nd DUI I have managed to:
*check into detox for a week
*come clean with my employer and throw my cards on the table
*come back to work
*start to repair my relationship with my BF
*repair my relationship with my parents
*go to court, step up and take responsibility for my dumba$$ actions and have started my jail time (4 more weekends to go!!)
*start personal counselling to drag these darned skeletons out of the closet
*I start seeing my probation officer end of the month
*financially tapped from lawyers fee and cost of repairing the BF's car I damaged
*WHEW*
I am exhausted.
BUT am grateful that despite all this, I have not drank. Sure, the fleeting thought arises, but right after that thought, I recall the damage I have done and my last detox. That kicks that thought out very quickly.
I'm feeling really ...hrm....I don't know the word...Lost.
Right now, jail is enough to keep my arse sober. The fact I am on a short leash with work and personal relationships is helping.
But I know I need a plan and I am so mentally, physically, emotionally tired I am just struggling with making a proper plan. I'm hoping that once this legal crap is done (come on August 8th!!!) I can finally relax a bit and really sit down and start focussing on THE PLAN.
anyways - sorry for rambling....this place has been a HUGE HUGE help in getting me though the last 60 days. I find everyday, I read something from someone that just whacks me upside the face.
You are tired, but look at all of the steps forward you have taken to put things in order so that you can have a better life. That takes a lot of energy! Take a little breather today to just be proud of how far you have come in 60 days. I think that is most awesome.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Jupiters, congrats on your 60 days! You've made some good strides there Feeling lost can mean you are in a state of change, and on unfamiliar footing at the moment... not a bad thing at all Hang in there! Well done
Congratulations.
Yes, you've had some hurdles. There are still more. Take them one day at a time and try not to think about Aug 8 or Nov 23 or Jul 19.
Your plan for today is to not drink. Well done! You are exactly where you are supposed to be and it will all work out.
Yes, you've had some hurdles. There are still more. Take them one day at a time and try not to think about Aug 8 or Nov 23 or Jul 19.
Your plan for today is to not drink. Well done! You are exactly where you are supposed to be and it will all work out.
*pats self on back*
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Congrats on 60 days! That's quite of list of things you've faced (and are facing there) and you have plenty to proud of. It sounds like you are definitely headed in the right direction. Pace yourself and remember to take time to just breathe!
I don't think I could have approached this any other way really. I've thought about it.
I mean, I guess I could have a craptastic whiny attitude about it, but why? I'd be sick of hearing myself complain...and complain about what? I did this. I caused this chaos and mess, I must clean it up. There really is nobody to blame but myself. It feels good to accept that, hard....but good. I know I'm doing everything I can in my power to make this situation as good as it can be. and to learn from it. Over and over again! LOL
I mean, I guess I could have a craptastic whiny attitude about it, but why? I'd be sick of hearing myself complain...and complain about what? I did this. I caused this chaos and mess, I must clean it up. There really is nobody to blame but myself. It feels good to accept that, hard....but good. I know I'm doing everything I can in my power to make this situation as good as it can be. and to learn from it. Over and over again! LOL
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