time2change04

On this eve of my fourth day of sobriety, I had my friends over for dinner, all avid wine drinkers. Most of my friends are. Unbelievably, I didn't even crave it tonight. I have never been a "stick to it" kind of gal, but I really didn't mind them drinking wine while I sipped my Faux-jito. (Part mojito mix, part sparkling water-it's delicious. You should try it!)
I was surprised that I didn't miss my friend Chardonnay. Could it be that I really AM done?!
I feel better mentally than I have in a very long time. That's saying A LOT.
I'm gonna keep going, one day at a time.

instant

Glad it went well- I had to be sober quite some months before I could event think about it - sitting around talking socially with nothing to do is my worst case scenario for drinking. I still tend to avoid such situations

ReadyAtLast

I'm glad you feel good and it went well. I would urge caution though-I found even if I was fine one time in drinking company,it does not mean I was fine the next time. It was just too easy for me to drink when all around me were drinking too. My relapses were always when I was in the company of drinkers. It doesn't bother me as much now but there are things I prefer to do than be with lots of people drinking excessively.

PurpleKnight

Fantastic stuff!!

LadyBlue0527

It's good that you got yourself through that. Every time you step up to the plate it's different. That's something to keep in mind. Over a year out and going to be in a dangerous situation tomorrow night. Still gives me the heebie jeebies.

time2change04

Thank you all.
I have an amazing group of friends and I couldn't imagine not spending time with them. I was honest with them and told them that this is my path now. They offered to not drink their wine but I feel ultimately this is my issue, not theirs. My friends last night are not excessive drinkers, but my roommate is. She can go through a box of wine in 2 days. I live with her! I used to help her with that box of wine. Now I'm making sure I have other things going on.
My decision to stop drinking is based on a lot of things, pretty much stated in my original post. But I have to say, watching her these past weeks has been a major catalyst in making this decision.
There is always a box of wine in the fridge, but I don't feel the need to touch it. At least not right now anyway.
I have my eye on bigger things. :-)
Have a great day, all.

time2change04

Good luck to you tonight, LadyBlue0527. You can do this!

Rence

Hi,

For me personally, during my times of sobriety if I had my mind made up NOT to drink, I would not drink - whether it be a concert, cookout, dinner or whatever. Every time I relapsed, I was just sitting or driving by myself when something just clicked and I would stop and get some beer. There are some people who need to avoid the situations for fear they will be tempted, and I respect that - but that's not me. If I'm drinking in a situation like that, it's because I was already not in a period of sobriety.

When I attended an aftercare program after one of my detoxes, alot of people there were telling me what events I could and could not go to because I would relapse. Their telling me this actually caused me to relapse - not any of those events I would go to. I picked up some alcohol after attending the meeting there. I was actually very angry at them. Everyone is different. If I was in a period of sobriety and wanted to stay that way and felt as though I could lose control, I would probably not go to the person, place or thing, but as a rule, that is not the way I personally work. You can judge for yourself what makes you vulnerable and avoid the situations.

Best wishes,
Terry

time2change04

I agree with you, Terry. There is no way I can avoid social situations and there is no way I am giving up my friends. It is my job to do better for myself and not their problem. THEY are not the ones with the problem, I am. And actually, my trigger to drink almost always was when I was alone, not when I am with others.
The bottom line is I want to be sober, I want to do better, I want to accomplish. I have some pretty major goals to achieve and I realized that I was just sitting around, drinking wine, when I could be proactive in getting my goals accomplished. I know that drinking is impeding my progress.
Thank you for your input. :-)
Sue

SoberCAH

I chose to no longer participate in functions involving many of my friends.

It was quite a sacrifice.

But I haven't had a drink since the day I walked into a treatment center, so I am happy with the results.

I can do many things now that i couldn't do comfortably when I first got sober (e.g. going to college football games, concerts or car races).

I simply gave them up until I felt comfortable doing them as a result of having a fairly strong sobriety.

Your mileage may vary.

I am glad your evening worked out well, though.

zeldachan

I chose to have my birthday party at a coffee shop rather than a restaurant bar because I am in my early sober days... And nobody came! Their loss. I had delicious coffee. Okay, it did hurt a bit, but anyone who does not support your sobriety needs to not be in your life right now. That's what I think at least, your mileage may vary, but seriously, we need to do what we need to do to stay sober, it is literally life and death. I am glad your friends were supportive of you!!!

time2change04

Zeldachan, I'm very sorry that your "friends" were not. You're absolutely right-their loss. I love your attitude!!
Thank you all for your support and responses. You have no idea how much this means.

time2change04

Very stressful day, and it's Friday!! When I would normally be kicking off the weekend with a nice bottle of Chard or Sauvignon Blanc. I was bitchy this afternoon, I didn't even recognize myself. My houseguest and dear friend mentioned it as she was going off to bed. I had to apologize. The "f" bombs were flying this afternoon. She's used to happy, cheerful Sue, not cranky, struggling Sue.
But I made it through another day and I'm moving on to day 7. I hope I sleep tonight and I hope I'm in a better mood tomorrow.
Thanks for listening.
Night, all.

Dee74

The happy cheerful Sue will return - minus the f bombs - stay with it

D

Nuudawn

I applaud your success..and it sounds like your sobriety is in a good place. I certainly don't think you need to drop your old friends. I too can be around drinking...but the "ole sole" purpose of the event thing...not so much. Mostly because I get bored or irritated. What I do think is important though..is too step out of your comfort zone and don't just do the same things over and over in your sobriety that you did when you were drinking. One dinner party with wine a plenty is fine...infrequently...but don't just continually impose your sober self into your old drinking life. It will get tiresome. Do try to make your sober life BIGGER than your old drinking life was. If you just keep doing the same things with the same people you will eventually get a tad lonely...or tired of that small little routine. Just ensure you add to your life...don't just try to do the same old same old...sober.

time2change04

No one is more disappointed than I am.

Dee74

Having a house guest who is used to you drinking is a pretty hard situation to negotiate.

Can you make it easier on yourself this time and decline some invitations and clear a few weekends?

I think, along with support, that commitment to change is pretty vital really

D

time2change04

It wasn't my houseguest, Dee. She was gone this morning and more supportive than you could know.
I had a big disappointment today. And then on top of that disappointment, I realized that the one I have been carrying a torch for is really bad for me. I guess 6 days of sobriety will do that. Bring clarity. Which I obviously can't handle as I sit here fallen and crying. I feel like a fool.
I don't know what to do.

Dee74

You just look at what happened and start again

I mentioned the houseguest because I often drank after situations like that were over...

even if it wasn't a direct factor I think it's wise not to put too much pressure on yourself too soon?

This stuff is hard - but you came back. Thats a big part of the battle done right there

Don't give up

D

time2change04

I won't .
This has been a bad couple of days and it really bothers me that I allowed someone to get into my head to the point that I gave up tonight. Shame on me. I'm stronger than that and I know better.
I will begin again. And tell him to pi$$ off.
I hope.
Thank you, Dee.

Do you ever sleep? :-\
:-)