melki

I don't want to go into details, at least not yet, but I'm having a health scare. Non-alcohol related but who knows where these things come from. It's very unexpected, I'm still shell-shocked. I was always aware how quickly life can change, but when it happens to you, it's rather personal. I'm going to have more tests done over the next few weeks, I hope the outlook is promising, but in the meantime I'm just scared and crying a lot. My very close friend passed away two years ago, I know how fast these things can progress and how life just keeps moving on. I'm getting a glimpse of that now and it's terrifying me. I love my family intensely and there's still so much I want to do with them.

I don't want to drink now. If I come out of this ok, I want to be present. If I don't, I want all of our days to be like the last 14 that I've had sober. Wouldn't it be ironic, now that I choose life, it may turn its back on me? But I can't complain, it's been very kind to me so far and has given me many blessings and plenty of chances.

I bypassed many brightly lit liquor stores today, felt tiny pangs of longing, but they were insignificant. Bought four tubs of ice cream instead and different fizzy drinks, experimenting making floats, my kids are over the moon.

If you feel so, please say a prayer for me.

Sobertaurus

You are I'm my prayers. Saying one for you right now. Think of what a better role model you're being for the kiddies...we all need soda float nights sometimes. A nice way to celebrate life, sober.

trachemys

Will do melki. When you need to vent you can always come here.

melki

Thank you, Sobertaurus. Being a role model to my kids is a very strong motivator, one of the strongest to make me choose sobriety in the first place. I do wish I'd done it sooner, but I'm in a good place with it now.

ScottFromWI

You've made some great choices melki and here's to hoping this scare is just that...a scare.

not2late

Will say a prayer for you take care and always let us know how you are doing.

chicory

You are in my prayers tonight, Melki. How lovely , making floats for the babies! they will be asking for repeats, you know!

hugs, and positive thoughts and prayers, for all to be well. I bet it will be

melki

I hope to make many repeats of floats. Thank you everyone for your support.

Raider

Prayers to you.

HopingForZen

Me too. It's definitely the biggest motivator for me. Sorry about your health scare. That's really tough and I'm thinking about you.

And ice cream floats rock.

PurpleKnight

My thoughts are with you melki!!

GotGrace

Praying for you, Melki. Keep us posted.

Mummyto2

Thinking of you in my prayers, god bless

melki

Thanks for the support. Every day, every minute is such a gift. Don't ever forget it!

melki

A round of floats for everyone! I'm buying!!! Thanks so much for the support.



What a relief, the results are in and it's benign. I was so terrified of the big C that I was one foot in the grave already, thinking out my will. And then the kids got creepy on me this week too: "Mama, you had a good life, right?" "I love you so much Mom, even if you die I will never forget you", "I'm praying for you Ma, just in case". We didn't tell them anything about the scare, but the kids are always so good at picking up weird vibes. I am so blessed with these two, and that they love me and LIKE me, and that I didn't screw it up hopelessly with my drinking. To all who are reading I am toasting with my float and sharing these wonderful feelings of relief, freedom, and gratitude.

Cheers!!!!!!

HeadLump

Happy to join you in a celebration of life, melki

Now you need to live it to the full

melki

Thanks, HeadLump, happy not to be drinking alone.
I feel it now, I KNOW it. It is such a huge burden off my shoulders, I wish I could share it with everyone struggling right now. The answer is simple. Choose life. Drop that one thing to have everything else. I am overwhelmed how wonderful life is when you're free of alcohol obsession and you are able to live in the moment and enjoy it.

HeadLump

And you've shared it with everyone here. Bless you for doing that! You will have touched more people than you know

Anna

Melki,

Sorry I missed this thread earlier.

It's very understandable that this health scare has thrown you a curve. But, it sounds like you're handling things well. I had a similar situation in early recovery and, in perspective, I see it as a gift. Like you, it helped me to savour the moment and to lose all the other stuff. I hope you get some good news about your health.

Waterfalls2014

Melki, I missed this too. Congrats on the good news. I'm so happy for you and your family. Best wishes!