Quitting drinking with social anxiety...
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6
Quitting drinking with social anxiety...
I've spoken to a few of you lovely people in chat. What a community.
I've always been a bit apprehensive about posting on forums. It sounds silly but even posting this is a big deal for me.
I wonder how many others have had social anxiety/social phobia and alcohol problems? If you have, how did you deal with your social anxiety after quitting?
I'm not going to go through my whole convoluted history with alcohol right now! I could fill pages. I am 9 days sober after 2-3 years of heavy drinking.
The general anxiety is moderate and I would say manageable. However social anxiety seems to be worse than it was three years ago. I only noticed this today, because I've until now isolated myself to detox so that I didn't have any social triggers.
As I no longer have alcohol to "calm me down" before, during, or after a social encounter, it's affecting me a lot more now. With certain people it's so bad I can barely speak, my heart beats like crazy and I get twitchy and shaky. I also still feel a lot of anxiety around a few somewhat socially traumatic drunken events.
I'm starting a job in an unfamiliar industry in 2-3 weeks so I'm kind of stressing out. I'm also tapering off Diazepam for alc withdrawal, so I'm afraid it will only get worse when I no longer have benzos floating around in my system!
Any similar cases with suggestions for improvement would be much appreciated! It's really holding me back right now...
I should say that other than this, the depression and lethargy I had every single day for the last few years is definitely going away. The social issues seem to be a lot more stubborn.
Thanks for reading!!!
Caesar
I've always been a bit apprehensive about posting on forums. It sounds silly but even posting this is a big deal for me.
I wonder how many others have had social anxiety/social phobia and alcohol problems? If you have, how did you deal with your social anxiety after quitting?
I'm not going to go through my whole convoluted history with alcohol right now! I could fill pages. I am 9 days sober after 2-3 years of heavy drinking.
The general anxiety is moderate and I would say manageable. However social anxiety seems to be worse than it was three years ago. I only noticed this today, because I've until now isolated myself to detox so that I didn't have any social triggers.
As I no longer have alcohol to "calm me down" before, during, or after a social encounter, it's affecting me a lot more now. With certain people it's so bad I can barely speak, my heart beats like crazy and I get twitchy and shaky. I also still feel a lot of anxiety around a few somewhat socially traumatic drunken events.
I'm starting a job in an unfamiliar industry in 2-3 weeks so I'm kind of stressing out. I'm also tapering off Diazepam for alc withdrawal, so I'm afraid it will only get worse when I no longer have benzos floating around in my system!
Any similar cases with suggestions for improvement would be much appreciated! It's really holding me back right now...
I should say that other than this, the depression and lethargy I had every single day for the last few years is definitely going away. The social issues seem to be a lot more stubborn.
Thanks for reading!!!
Caesar
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
9 days is a good start!
While we can lend all kinds of moral support, your anxiety is best discussed with your doctor. Quitting booze adds to some people's anxiety and there's short term treatments for that.
Hang in there!
While we can lend all kinds of moral support, your anxiety is best discussed with your doctor. Quitting booze adds to some people's anxiety and there's short term treatments for that.
Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm thinking we have ALL dealt with this.
For me, thankfully, it's relatively mild from others' stories. Still, I get nervous sweats, elevated heart rate, sometimes even fits of dizziness or weakness in certain social and 'perform in front of others' situations.
This I guess has always been there, but I sure noticed it more in sobriety. I've used positive self talk. I've used exercise - intense exercise. I've used pushing myself; trying new things, exposing myself purposely to things that make me anxious and uncomfortable.... because going ahead and DOING those things builds new habits and new comfort levels.
Also there's an herbal supplement called 'holy basil' that seems to help a little. And calming / destressing herbal teas.
Reducing caffeine definintely helps, but I struggle to do that.
For me, thankfully, it's relatively mild from others' stories. Still, I get nervous sweats, elevated heart rate, sometimes even fits of dizziness or weakness in certain social and 'perform in front of others' situations.
This I guess has always been there, but I sure noticed it more in sobriety. I've used positive self talk. I've used exercise - intense exercise. I've used pushing myself; trying new things, exposing myself purposely to things that make me anxious and uncomfortable.... because going ahead and DOING those things builds new habits and new comfort levels.
Also there's an herbal supplement called 'holy basil' that seems to help a little. And calming / destressing herbal teas.
Reducing caffeine definintely helps, but I struggle to do that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by trachemys 
9 days is a good start!
While we can lend all kinds of moral support, your anxiety is best discussed with your doctor. Quitting booze adds to some people's anxiety and there's short term treatments for that.
Hang in there!
While we can lend all kinds of moral support, your anxiety is best discussed with your doctor. Quitting booze adds to some people's anxiety and there's short term treatments for that.
Hang in there!
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
I'm thinking we have ALL dealt with this.
For me, thankfully, it's relatively mild from others' stories. Still, I get nervous sweats, elevated heart rate, sometimes even fits of dizziness or weakness in certain social and 'perform in front of others' situations.
This I guess has always been there, but I sure noticed it more in sobriety. I've used positive self talk. I've used exercise - intense exercise. I've used pushing myself; trying new things, exposing myself purposely to things that make me anxious and uncomfortable.... because going ahead and DOING those things builds new habits and new comfort levels.
Also there's an herbal supplement called 'holy basil' that seems to help a little. And calming / destressing herbal teas.
Reducing caffeine definintely helps, but I struggle to do that.
For me, thankfully, it's relatively mild from others' stories. Still, I get nervous sweats, elevated heart rate, sometimes even fits of dizziness or weakness in certain social and 'perform in front of others' situations.
This I guess has always been there, but I sure noticed it more in sobriety. I've used positive self talk. I've used exercise - intense exercise. I've used pushing myself; trying new things, exposing myself purposely to things that make me anxious and uncomfortable.... because going ahead and DOING those things builds new habits and new comfort levels.
Also there's an herbal supplement called 'holy basil' that seems to help a little. And calming / destressing herbal teas.
Reducing caffeine definintely helps, but I struggle to do that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
one specific thing I've been doing that has seemed to help;
There's a sort of 'open mic night' for any kind of sharing one might wish to bring. Poetry, story telling, singing, music, sharing artwork, etc. at a local creativity center in my area. I've long loved creative expression and yearned to play music and write and share poetry and prose. So, combining these desires and passions with my desire to overcome social anxieties - I've been going to these things. Sometimes sharing a poem. Sometimes plucking out a song on my guitar. Sometimes just sharing a bit of a stream of consciousness ramble.
It has been terrifying, it has been uncomfortable, it has been dizzying. It has also been rewarding, empowering and confidence-building.
Doing things like this, in a relatively 'safe' and limited way (this place draws a small, close group of regulars who are incredibly supportive and loving) has begun to effect small but noticeable changes for me.
Anyway... best of luck to you, keep with it... it gets better!
There's a sort of 'open mic night' for any kind of sharing one might wish to bring. Poetry, story telling, singing, music, sharing artwork, etc. at a local creativity center in my area. I've long loved creative expression and yearned to play music and write and share poetry and prose. So, combining these desires and passions with my desire to overcome social anxieties - I've been going to these things. Sometimes sharing a poem. Sometimes plucking out a song on my guitar. Sometimes just sharing a bit of a stream of consciousness ramble.
It has been terrifying, it has been uncomfortable, it has been dizzying. It has also been rewarding, empowering and confidence-building.
Doing things like this, in a relatively 'safe' and limited way (this place draws a small, close group of regulars who are incredibly supportive and loving) has begun to effect small but noticeable changes for me.
Anyway... best of luck to you, keep with it... it gets better!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
My anxiety has gone from a 10 to a 2 or 3 in social situations since I stopped drinking. The first month was difficult but I'm at over four months now and so much more peaceful and serene.
The things that work best for me are meditation and prayer, exercise, limiting caffeine to one cup of coffee per day, healthy food.
I went to AA for the first 90 days of my sobriety and that helped, too. Being around people in a non-threatening atmosphere helps a lot.
The things that work best for me are meditation and prayer, exercise, limiting caffeine to one cup of coffee per day, healthy food.
I went to AA for the first 90 days of my sobriety and that helped, too. Being around people in a non-threatening atmosphere helps a lot.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 104
hi!
Thanks for the post, I can relate to you as my social anxiety is HUGE. When I drank it all went of course only to come back the next day with a vengeance. I went to an AA meeting today and was physically shaking as I spoke. It was hard but I want to push myself through the fear. I'm hoping it gets easier the more I try. I have heard some great stuff about cbt, maybe give that a go? and posting here helps too. Like you I avoided all social media so you've made a great start in changing
Keep up the good work
Thanks for the post, I can relate to you as my social anxiety is HUGE. When I drank it all went of course only to come back the next day with a vengeance. I went to an AA meeting today and was physically shaking as I spoke. It was hard but I want to push myself through the fear. I'm hoping it gets easier the more I try. I have heard some great stuff about cbt, maybe give that a go? and posting here helps too. Like you I avoided all social media so you've made a great start in changing
Keep up the good work
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6
That is so brave! Definitely something I would have to work up to. Good on you
Hi biminiblue, that gives me hope, maybe it will ease off after a few weeks. I'll be going to meetings... not sure if they are for me but it's a nice sober place to be at least.
Hi bellaboos, thanks, glad you can relate! Did you find the meeting helpful? I have only been to one meeting but didn't say much.
Hi biminiblue, that gives me hope, maybe it will ease off after a few weeks. I'll be going to meetings... not sure if they are for me but it's a nice sober place to be at least.
Hi bellaboos, thanks, glad you can relate! Did you find the meeting helpful? I have only been to one meeting but didn't say much.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 392
caesar, I am so similiar to you, I could have written that post myself. I'm dealing with the same things. What to do now I no longer have my "confidence crutch" when it comes to social situations? (Also in the same boat on the benzo thing)..
Well, I'm only on Day 19 so I don't have a whole lot of wisdom on this but so far I've just been forcing myself to AA meetings and making myself talk even though my heart is pounding out of my chest, and I'm horrified that everyone is looking at me. A few times I've mentioned how uncomfortable I am, and it seems to break the ice a little. I haven't come off my benzos (yet) so I too am wondering how I'm going to deal without them in my system.
Here's hoping we can both get the push we need to get through this! Social anxiety sucks.
Well, I'm only on Day 19 so I don't have a whole lot of wisdom on this but so far I've just been forcing myself to AA meetings and making myself talk even though my heart is pounding out of my chest, and I'm horrified that everyone is looking at me. A few times I've mentioned how uncomfortable I am, and it seems to break the ice a little. I haven't come off my benzos (yet) so I too am wondering how I'm going to deal without them in my system.
Here's hoping we can both get the push we need to get through this! Social anxiety sucks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by anewpage
caesar, I am so similiar to you, I could have written that post myself. I'm dealing with the same things. What to do now I no longer have my "confidence crutch" when it comes to social situations? (Also in the same boat on the benzo thing)..
Well, I'm only on Day 19 so I don't have a whole lot of wisdom on this but so far I've just been forcing myself to AA meetings and making myself talk even though my heart is pounding out of my chest, and I'm horrified that everyone is looking at me. A few times I've mentioned how uncomfortable I am, and it seems to break the ice a little. I haven't come off my benzos (yet) so I too am wondering how I'm going to deal without them in my system.
Here's hoping we can both get the push we need to get through this! Social anxiety sucks.
Well, I'm only on Day 19 so I don't have a whole lot of wisdom on this but so far I've just been forcing myself to AA meetings and making myself talk even though my heart is pounding out of my chest, and I'm horrified that everyone is looking at me. A few times I've mentioned how uncomfortable I am, and it seems to break the ice a little. I haven't come off my benzos (yet) so I too am wondering how I'm going to deal without them in my system.
Here's hoping we can both get the push we need to get through this! Social anxiety sucks.
Good luck!
Originally Posted by Trouble1234
Are you trying any calming natural stuff? It works , I do not have Social Anxiety but I have Anxiety and just started a new job!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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13thcaesar, have you looked into Theanine Serene? I get them on Amazon. After looking at quite a few supplements, and trying a few of them, I've settled on these because they actually work very well with no noticeable side effects for me. They work by inducing calming brainwaves with a combination of GABA, L-Theanine, Taurine and a couple of herbs. I used to take benzos about six years ago, so I can tell you that these are nothing like taking a a benzo (xanax), they are more subtle. But they really have helped me out with anxiety and tension, and the emotional ups and downs of early sobriety. But I must add a disclaimer to check with a doc before introducing any new drug or supplement to your diet.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 104
Hi, yes the meetings are so helpful. When my hearts pounding and my mind goes blank I start of by saying ' I'm not going to say much as I find talking in a group difficult...' I'm thinking baby steps. Talking for 10 seconds is all I can manage at the moment but it's a step in the right direction. I didn't faint or have a heart attack and the roof didn't fall in ha ha! So maybe next time I'll make it 15. It helps that it's a fairly small group too, but ya know even turning up and listening will increase your confidence.
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