FreeOwl

Went to a small gathering of friends this evening. Good times, good stories, good people, musicians.... music and dancing and fun.

Also, booze aplenty. Wine and beer all around. Barbeque and a woodstove and singing...

I felt several pangs of longing, maybe grief.... missing that scene with a warm alcohol buzz.

But... I also spent time talking with a friend who was drinking ginger beer about brewing our own homemade non-alcoholic beverages. Ginger beer and birch beer. He wasn't drinking. Said there'd been too much alcohol lately. And I watched a few in attendance clearly a couple too many into the night... tipping over, dropping things. There was enough to remind me why the vision of that warm alcohol buzz is a falsehood. Doesn't take long for that warm alcohol buzz to turn into a stumbling fuzzy haze and a hangover in the morning.

Still... sometimes in a setting like that, the disappointed AV settles in beside me and puts a slight damper on what would otherwise be really enjoyable. I focused on the music and the laughter and the stories and had fun... but found it hard to loosen up and dance... a little self conscious and unable to just let go. Maybe that's how a lot of people feel. Maybe that's the core of the need to drink at all.

In any case, I didn't drink. I didn't WANT to drink. I just had to face some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Wanted to share here, to get 'em off my chest and share with folks who get it.

Thanks for bein' there.

queenofheartz09

I miss alcohol in an atmosphere like that but if I start drinking I always black out and when I don't drink I actually have good conversations and laughs with people and it's so much better! And yes the dancing is a bit more awkward lol

Hevyn

Hi FreeOwl.

I know just what you mean. I'd get that old longing too, and sometimes it led me back to trying once again to moderate. You're so right - the warm alcohol buzz we remember so fondly is false. We're never satisfied with one or two. I'm really glad to see you so positive - you're doing great.

LBrain

FreeOwl, I have not experienced that feeling yet. I've only been to a few events thus far. I will say that I had no trouble getting on the dance floor tho...

Glad you were able to recognize it for what it was. Way to hang in there.

DreaJean

Thank you for sharing! Good for you for not drinking!! Dance is expression, so if your feeling awkward, its okay to dance that out!

cusper

Hi Freeowl! Good god I could not imagine dancing sober...with other people around! nooooo way! However being drunk, I don't think I would give it a second thought. Yeah I think AV has a tendency to romanticize those first couple drinks where the world disappears and you settle in with your friends. I grieve for that part of my past sometimes too. I also have a bit of envy for my friends who will have a couple drinks and dance but come and drink coffee afterwards?!!! Hopefully the AV will drown out and there will be new associations in it's place.

And hangovers truly... truly suck.

bellaboos

Free owl, totally hear you right now!
On the ginger beer front, my dad's been sober 30 years, growing up the fridge was always full of the stuff. Maybe we need to try it out
Stay strong.