UnixBer

for over a week now I've been feeling somehow mad and low. The thought that I've been over a year sober, shouldn't I be better off by now? I notice only now that these thoughts have repeatedly been there. I decide to take a nap.

As I fall asleep I enter my dream world. In the dream world I encounter a place I haven't seen in the dream world for a very long time. It is one of my favorite places there. Now the favorite place happens to be next to a liquor store, or the liquor store is a part of the place. I notice a big collection of multicolored bottles, and the av clearly whispers in my mind "all these colors. What a waste. Will my life be dull and without color now always?". For a while I agree with the av. "All those colors...", a little like a zombie.

Now later I realize that this is what the av has been doing all the time. But has it delibarately kept this place in my dream world from me for such a long time, only to use and reveal it now, to make it into a weak moment and create distress and havoc? Not only did the av try to connect "joy" and "colors" with the idea of alcoholic drinks, it also wanted to associate it with travel and general adventure in life. This is the psychological evil of the addictive voice.

Now I still am aware that I've been feeling a little off for a little while now. As I wake up I am in a bizarre state of mind with a wave of familiar mad craving for alcohol and the crazy mind state is certainly the av at work. "Have I accidentally ingested alcohol to suddenly have this?" crosses my mind. My mind is still captive by the idea of adventure and colors with the booze and the dream place. Now that I think of it, the av has used even that idea to cause confusion for a long time here and there. "Have I really been sober all this time? Can it really be? Am I not sure I've taken amounts of alcohol and already reset the daycount so we can drink again? You know you'll want to sooner or later. You're crazy for doing this to yourself. Do you really want a life without color?", says the av.

Nuudawn

Colour in the metaphoric sense? (drama, chaos, spontaneity, impetuousness, poor impulse control, dangerous adventure, instant euphoria, bad judgement, blackouts, instant yet feigned intimacy)

or literal? There are many colours of juices, soda's etc. Last night I tried some Jamaican Ginger beer. Good Lord it was so spicy hot I think my ears burned. It was the weirdest soda sensation.

bellaboos

Wow Unixber, that sounds like a mad dream. They can be so vivid sometimes, it sounds like this one has really affected your mindset today. I'm not surprised it's making you question and think things differently as I've had some dreams and nightmares that have knocked me sideways. Remember though it IS a dream, the product maybe of you not feeling quite right for the last week? I think our av is always around even when we sleep, don't let it get the upper hand today and maybe do something to distract yourself from that mindset.

UnixBer

Nuudawn that is interesting. I think the colors mean for me some kind of choice of infinite varieties and endless adventure. True there are many colors of any non-alcohol drink. ...

bellaboos: ýes well that is a real story and dreams can sometimes throw you off balance for a while. There is an explanation why the av is doing this at this point. The summer is the trigger and I think it's losing power. It's a win-win therefore.

Nuudawn

Yes, my thinking was that is was indeed metaphoric for you. Time to take up sky diving perhaps or some other adrenaline pumping activity?

PurpleKnight

Yeah it's weird that the one place alcohol can get to us outside of our control is within our dreams, AV is clearly clutching at straws!!